International Kittens of Mystery (5 page)

After all, that could be someone's dinner being prepared up there.

Next, we have an unfortunate accident when the cameraman was unexpectedly swarmed by Kinky Tribble – a kitten who climbs so fast and swerves back and forth that even a professional cameraman can't snap her in time.

The cameraman didn't mind though. He purred.

"Other monkey haz food," shouts a voice from below. "You haz climbed wrong monkey."

"I haz not!" screams Kinky.

Other monkey tracked down and swarmed.

Maintaining cuteness at level ten and above demands constant feeding. And vigilance. Monkeys have a habit of hiding food and need frequent searching.

It's a tough life as an international kitten of mystery and training can't start early enough. Even young kittens have to get fit.

Training Camp Alpha has a state-of-the-art gym with all the latest equipment. Here we see Spiky Tribble practicing his moves on the 'furry toy suspended from a chair.' Always a favorite.

But sometimes you can't beat gnawing a chair leg.

After the chair session comes the floor exercise. And if the floor's too hard you can always co-opt a monkey lap. Now work those stomach muscles with the Tribble spine twist and opposable paw touch.

Training Camp Alpha has been chosen to trial a new mentoring scheme to help train recruits. The plan is to have newly graduated kitten agents, like Kai and Xena, help with the training and offer one-on-one support.

There are times when a young kitten needs the kind of TLC that a monkey just can't provide.

Here we see Xena offering some big sisterly advice to Targa Tribble.

And making sure that Kinky Tribble is clean behind the ears and presentable.

And conducting a masterclass in advanced snuggling.

Kai, however, has not quite grasped the idea of what mentoring is supposed to be about.

Here we see him sharing Wickerbowl Two with a squashed Tribble.

Camouflage theory is one of the most important lessons in the training calendar. Looking cute might disable a human at close range but what about times when you're too far away?

And how can you hide from anyone when your fur is bright orange?

This week's exercise has Kai and Xena helping demonstrate the do's and don'ts of successful kitten camouflage. No prizes for guessing who's doing the don'ts.

First up we have Xena showing the subtle use of cover and shadow.

Note how she uses the grey of the stone and gravel to further enhance her hiding place. And also how easy it is to spot an orange Tribble once they break cover.