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Authors: Chris Dolley

Tags: #Humor

International Kittens of Mystery (9 page)

BOOK: International Kittens of Mystery
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“Maybe with a haunch of venison?” said Miss Dreadnought. “Or with ham and a Hollandaise sauce?”

I was taken aback. This tall willowy wisp of a girl had broken the Worcester code! I examined her closer, expecting a smile or a smirk but finding neither. If anything, she had a wan, distant look, as though haunted by some great inner sadness.

Could garlic vapours do that to a girl?

“Admonish me if I intrude, Miss Dreadnought, but ... is something the matter?”

She looked up, our eyes meeting for the first time.

“I think Amelia Runcible has been kidnapped.”

o0o

To read the rest of the story, you'll have to buy the book. But it's only $2.99

Other Books by Chris Dolley
What Ho, Automaton! — $2.99

Wodehouse Steampunk! Reggie Worcester and Reeves, his gentleman's personal gentle-automaton, are consulting detectives in an alternative 1903 where an augmented Queen Victoria is still on the throne and automata are a common sight below stairs. Humour, Mystery, Aunts and Zeppelins!

“A fun blend of P.G. Wodehouse, steampunk and a touch of Sherlock Holmes. Dolley is a master at capturing and blending all these elements. More than fascinating, this work is also rip-roaring fun! But where Dolley really excels is in capturing the atmosphere and humor of the Bertie and Jeeves stories. Any Wodehouse fan will want to grab a copy of this work, but even if you have never explored that world, What Ho, Automaton! is a fun and fascinating read. Highly recommended, take a spin in this steampunk hybrid and enjoy the ride!”
-
SFRevu

“I found myself laughing out loud at Reggie and the fabulous Reeves as they romped their way through various adventures. A homage to Wodehouse without being sycophantic, this is fantastic.”
-
Sueo23

“I enjoyed every page of this book. A steampunk novel that combines classic British Humor, tongue-in-cheek references to Sherlock Holmes and a cast of great characters. I don't think I've actually laughed out loud this much while reading a book in a very long time.”
-
ErisAerie

“Dolley has managed to capture Wodehouse's style, rhythm, and sense of humor almost perfectly ... it is just so much fun, and the author's exploration of this alternative England, full of robots and polite Frankenstineian constructs, adds an absurd depth not found in its inspiration.”
-
Magus Manders

“Absolutely enjoyable book to read. The author creates this fantastical old England with a nut of a main character and a mechanical sidekick that leave you grinning after each page. It's the next best thing to Sherlock Holmes, and I hope there are sequels.”
-
Ashschreck

“A rollicking good read! Not having read the original Wodehouse (although feeling a sudden desire to) but being a huge fan of the TV series I adored these stories - I could hear Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry in my head. True to character and quick of wit, I couldn't stop laughing.”
-
Larry Auld

Medium Dead — $3.99

Medium Dead is a fun urban fantasy chronicling the crime fighting adventures of Brenda - a reluctant medium - and Brian - a Vigilante Demon with an impish sense of humour. Think Stephanie Plum with magic and a dash of Carl Hiaasen.

Brenda Steele is smart, funny and out of her depth. A Vigilante Demon called Brian wants her to find murdered spirits and help him track down their killers. But Brian doesn't just catch criminals, he likes to play with them first, and make the punishment fit the crime. As he tells Brenda, “If all you did was turn up, capture the bad guy then leave - century after century - you'd die of boredom.”

He's also reckless - his last partner died during one of his takedowns.

Along the way, Brenda discovers that Brian isn't as old, or as powerful, as he led her to believe. He might even be human. Whereas the murderer they're hunting, and the child he's holding prisoner, might not.

“I was hooked by the end of page one and laughing out loud by the middle of page two. Finally, a new author as witty and sassy as Janet Evanovich.”
-
Lark Susak

“This was a very entertaining story. I enjoyed the characters and humor. Nothing better than a good belly laugh. Can't wait for the next installment,”
-
Stephanie Robert

“Yes, yes, yes you will want to read Medium Dead by Chris Dolley. Yes, if you enjoy your mysteries with stumbling heroines and heroes trying to exercise detective skills they may not actually have. Yes, if you don't mind laughing out loud as you read. And yes, if you enjoy your terror without horror,”
-
Kathleen Kempa

Resonance — $2.99

Graham Smith is a 33 year old office messenger. To the outside world he's an obsessive compulsive mute - weird but harmless. But to Graham Smith, it's the world that's weird. And far from harmless. He sees things other can't...or won't. He knows that roads can change course, people disappear, office blocks migrate across town - all at night when no one's looking.

Only by following a rigid routine can he lessen these effects. If he walks the same route to work every morning and catches the same train, and keeps himself to himself, then there's a good chance his house will still be where he left it when he returns home in the evening.

Annalise Mercado hears voices. Sometimes she thinks they're spirit guides, sometimes she thinks she's crazy. But then they start telling her about Graham Smith, the danger he's in and how only she can save him. So begins the story of two people whose lives appear fragmented across alternate realities. And how, together, they hold the key to the future of a billion planets...

"Resonance is a tremendously accomplished book ... and immediately raises Dolley into the ranks of writers to watch. It's a head-over-heels romp through ever-changing realities, crammed with great set-pieces, excellent hooks and some nice one-liners."
 — 
Keith Brooke, Infinity Plus

"This is one of the most original new science fiction books I have ever read. In fact, as an inspired new take on a familiar SF idea it's original enough to stand comparison with "The Time Traveler's Wife" or "Memoirs of an Invisible Man. If it is as big a hit as it deserves, it may well be this book which becomes the standard by which SF stories about ... are judged."
 — 
Marshall Lord

"I have read a lot of science fiction and have gone through tons of plots, so when I find one that is unique I certainly take notice. Resonance is one of those books that have it all. Interesting plot with plenty of mysteries and twists, characters you care about, and solid writing that strings it all together."
 — 
Jeffrey Miller

Shift — $3.99

A near future SF mystery thriller with a touch of out-of-body horror.

A serial killer with multiple personalities. An astronaut who returns from higher dimensional space a changed man. And two unlikely detectives who have to get inside the mind of a killer ... literally.

“Shift is an exciting and shocking futuristic thriller. The characters are original, and the imagery pulls you in. Incorporating heart-pounding suspense and an inventive twist of science fiction, I enjoyed this story even more than Dolley's Resonance.”
 — 
SciFiChick

“I think I somehow missed reading Dolley's first novel, Resonance, when it appeared a couple of years ago. It's an oversight that I plan to correct in the near future because his second is a very accomplished, intricate, and entertaining novel. There's lots of neat stuff in this, and the plot is clever and full of surprises. It's first class writing from someone whose name will, I predict, be much better known before long.”
-
Don D'Ammassa, Critical Mass

“Shift is a really good science fiction story. I'd recommend it to anyone who wants something a bit different in their science fiction.”
-
SF Signal

French Fried — $2.99

Animals behaving badly, other people's misfortunes and the most bizarre true crime story ever. The international bestseller,
French Fried
, is the unfortunately true account of Chris Dolley's first eight months in France and has been described as ‘A Year in Provence with Miss Marple and Gerald Durrell.'

Just when Chris and Shelagh think nothing more could possibly go wrong, they discover that Chris's identity has been stolen and their life savings - all the money from their house sale in England that was going to finance their new life in France - had disappeared. A bank account had been opened in Chris's name in Spain to take the proceeds. 

Then they're abandoned by the police forces of four countries who all insist the crime belongs in someone else's jurisdiction. The French say it's an Irish crime as that's where the money was held. The Irish say it's French as that's where all the correspondence came from. The British say it's nothing to do with them even though forged British passports were used to open the bank account in Spain. And the Spanish are on holiday - and can't even think about investigating any bank account for at least four weeks.

So Chris has to solve the crime himself. But unlike fictional detectives he has an 80 year-old mother-in-law and an excitable puppy who insist they come along if he's going anywhere interesting - like a stakeout.

“This was a fantastic read. It had me laughing so much that I nearly got relegated to the sofa! Once I had started reading this book, I could not put it down, I was even quite happy to miss my favourite TV programmes!”
-
Bookmarked

“When I downloaded this book this morning, I had every intention of putting it on my phone and reading it in dribs and drabs. And now I appear to have finished the book! The best thing about ‘French Fried' is it's sense of humour; warm, self-deprecating, and very British. Literally laugh out loud in several places (I'm glad I'm the only one home!).”
-
Librarything

“Chris Dolley's humour reminds me of James Herriot at times, with my husband shushing me in the middle of the night. I could not put this book down and enjoyed it immensely. The characters, especially Nan, were life-size.”
-
Salammi

Magical Crimes — $0.99

Magical Crimes is a fun CSI with magic and ‘a little something else' novelette. Adult themes.

Number One bestselling short story at Amazon UK.

An Unsafe Pair Of Hands — $3.99

Peter Shand is the ‘safe pair of hands' - a high-flying police administrator seconded to a quiet rural CID team to gain the operational experience he needs for promotion. On his second day he's thrust into a high-profile murder case. A woman's body is discovered in an old stone circle - with another woman buried alive beneath her.

The pressure on Shand is enormous. The case is baffling. There appears to be no link between the two crimes. The media is clamouring for answers. And Shand's convinced his wife is having an affair with someone called Gabriel.

Which just happens to be the name of the two chief suspects. Both are womanisers, and both mention a mystery woman - who sounds suspiciously like Shand's wife - as their alibi. The pressure builds. Shand can't sleep, a local journalist is out to discredit him, his wife is about to be dragged into the case and then, goaded at a press conference about lack of progress, he invents a lead. And keeps on lying - to the press, his boss, his team - telling himself that he'll solve the case before anyone finds out.

And then another murder occurs. And had there been a third?

Shand begins to doubt his ability. He's desperate, increasingly unpredictable, pursued by an amorous psychic, and somehow gaining a reputation for arresting livestock.

Which will break first? The case, or Shand?

“This book started off with a bang and sped quickly down a steep hill with more twists than a twisty thing. I really enjoyed this book and could hardly put it down!”
-
Diane Johnstone

“I gave up sleep so that I could read to the surprising and satisfying ending. I laughed out loud in public in response to the quirky plot twists. An Unsafe Pair of Hands by Chris Dolley is a masterful addition to the British mystery genre.”
-
Barth Siemens

“This mystery is so much fun. The humor is delightful and the plot is complex enough to keep you turning pages to the end. And the characters are marvelous, from the snobby London “incomers” the Marchants to The Moleman and even a cock-a-doodle-dooing chicken, all of whom are suspect at one time or other. This is by far one of the best summer reads of 2011.”
-
Jensview

“This is a very good read. You will want to be sure to have a day off or a quiet weekend ahead of you, because this book is very hard to put down once you get started reading it.”
-
Kathleen Kempa

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BOOK: International Kittens of Mystery
11.58Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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