Losing Him (16 page)

Every single person involved had been through Hell. It had to end.

Chapter 21

Heather

When I woke up again, I could hear someone talking. At first, the voice was muffled and I couldn’t make it out, but as I focused, it became clearer.

“Please wake up, baby. I need to see those eyes.”

It was hard, but I managed to open my eyes. They seemed heavy, like something was holding them down. Before I could focus on Jessie, they closed again. I tried again and nothing happened.

It was so frustrating.

“I wish there was something I could say to make this all go away. I wish I could take back the things I said to you. I should have asked you to marry me years ago, but I let my ego get in the way of my true feelings.” I could hear him sniffling and wondered if it was possible for him to be crying. “I tried not to fall for you. It was just too hard to hold back. Love flows through you and I just wanted to feel it. I pushed you away because I was a pussy. It was never because I didn’t love you. I always have.”

I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t move. What was happening to me? Why couldn’t I respond?

“I’m going to make things right. Jacob’s not going to have to keep going back and forth. We’re going to be together all the time, the three of us.”

I felt him touching my hand, but still no result.

He rubbed my face. “I did this to you. I’m so sorry, Heather. Please be okay. Please wake up.”

Why couldn’t he see that I was awake? How bad was it?

Jessie continued to beg me to wake up and I just lay there unable to respond in any way. I didn’t know what to do to get his attention. I wanted him to know that I could hear him. He needed to know that I was going to be okay.

After a while the room became silent again. All I could hear was the beeping of the machines. Jessie wasn’t holding my hand or brushing my face. He wasn’t there anymore.

Had he given up on me?

I started to wonder if I was dead and this was some sick purgatory for putting people through Hell. Maybe I was going to spend my life hearing others and not being able to respond. That would suck.

I’m not sure how long I laid there contemplating my existence. Voices filled the room again and all I could do was listen.

“Baby, I brought someone in to see you. He isn’t supposed to be here, so we have to make this quick.”

The next voice shocked me. I knew I had to be dreaming. None of this could be real.

“Heather, it’s me, Ty. I uh, I’m not a perfect person. I did things to you that I didn’t mean to do. I hurt you so many times. I just came here to tell you that it’s my turn to apologize.  I’m so sorry for what I did to you. I’m sorry that I never gave you a real chance. You deserved better, really. I couldn’t have ever been the guy you wanted, not when this guy was out there waiting to meet you. I know we’ll never be friends. I didn’t come here to reconnect. I need to make peace with myself and with you, because I’m tired of this bullshit between you and my family. It’s been years and we need to stop living in the past. If you need to move back to your moms, or even if you come back to town for a visit, I won’t be nasty to you or your family. You have my word.” I felt his hand patting my arm. “Look, Heather, I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but this guy sitting next to me is a crazy mess. Wake the hell up and get that happy ending you always wanted. You can’t do that shit until you open those eyes.” He got quiet for a second. “This is where I have to leave. If you can hear me, I need you to know that I’ve never met someone so stubborn in my life. You don’t give up. Damn it, Heather, open your fucking eyes. Yell at me, scream at me. Do something! Smack me. You know you want to.”

I heard Jessie talking. “I don’t know what else to do. It’s been three days. Why isn’t she responding?”

“I don’t know. Look, I need to get out of here. Miranda hasn’t talked to me in days. She thinks I’m making a mistake. Van’s husband is on his way to pick her up since she stayed a couple days later. I need to be there when he arrives.”

“Ty, thanks again. I don’t think you’re as much of a dick as I did before. Heather would appreciate you coming.”

“I just thought I’d give it a try. I mean, she hates me more than anyone. If she won’t wake up for love, I figured hate might work.”

They both laughed and the room got quiet. I didn’t want them to leave me, even if they weren’t even really there. “I keep thinking my phone is going to ring and you’ll be on the other end asking to talk to Jacob. He misses us, you know. I haven’t left your side for three days. Amy keeps bringing me food. It’s funny. Before we came here, I thought they were all horrible people. It turns out that they are pretty cool. Even Ty is doing his best in light of the situation. It’s happening and you’re missing it. They’re letting go of the past. Isn’t this what you’ve dreamed about?”

It was.

Too bad it wasn’t real.

My mind was playing tricks on me.

“Heather, I need you. Things will be different. I won’t walk away from you again, I promise. Just wake up for me.”

I tried again to reach out to him, but nothing happened. The room got silent and I was all alone again. Inside I was screaming out for Jessie, but he couldn’t hear me.

Chapter 22

Jessie

It was difficult for me to have to make the decision to go home and make arrangements for Jacob. Luckily, my sister offered to take him and let me stay at her place, while I waited for Heather to wake up. I didn’t care how long it took, I was going to wait and prove to her that she could count on me. I was going to fight for her, like she’d always wanted me to do.

It was weird how I’d gone for months and not been near Heather, but this accident had made me not want to be away from her. I missed the way she smelled when she came out of the shower and put lotion on her legs. I missed how when she got mad at me, she’d pretend she wasn’t, or how she’d cook something that was delicious and swear that we were lying when we said we loved it.

I wanted all of that back in my life. I wanted the little details that drove me crazy. I wanted to be the woman that drove me crazy; the woman that gave me life’s greatest gift.

Leaving the hospital, for even a day, was hard. I felt like as soon as I walked away she was going to wake up or something bad was going to happen. It was a good thing that I had a son that I missed like crazy. He’d been spoiled for a coupled days, but knew something was wrong.

I had to take him home and sit him down before I could tell him about his mother. He sat there, with his hands folded, waiting for me to tell him.

“Buddy, Mommy’s been in an accident and she’s at the hospital.”

“Can we go see her?”

I shook my head. “They don’t allow kids in the part of the hospital they are keeping her. I wish you could come. I know she’d like to hear your voice.”

“Let’s just call her.”

I got on my knees on the floor and faced him. My hands cupped his knees. “We can’t call her, because she’s sleeping.”

“We can wait until she wakes up.” He looked at me like I was an idiot for  not figuring that out.

“Mommy isn’t sleeping like you and I do when we go to bed. She has a head injury and she can’t wake up yet.”

“Did you try to scream? Mommy wakes up when I’m loud.” His response was well thought, but he still wasn’t getting it.

“I tried to scream. I even invited people that know Mommy to come and talk to her. She still won’t open her eyes.”

He talked in almost a whisper. “Is she going to die like Nana?”

I didn’t know how to answer that. As much as I wanted to believe that Heather was going to be okay, she still hadn’t opened her eyes or reacted at all.

“Jacob, I’m not going to lie to you. You’re a big boy and you deserve to know the truth. I don’t know if Mommy is going to get better. I want her to wake up, but I just don’t know if she will.”

He started to cry and I pulled him into my arms. “I’m sorry, buddy. I know it sucks. We just have to pray. Daddy is doing everything I can think of. I need you to be the strongest boy you can be right now.”

He pulled away and looked right at me with tears running down his face. “I don’t want Mommy to die.” His lips quivered and I felt like bawling myself.

It was too much to take. “I don’t want her to die either.”

“What can we do? How do we make her get better?” Bless his little heart for wanting to do whatever it took to help his mother.

“For starters, we can head to your aunt Krista’s house. She lives close to where Mommy is in the hospital and that way Daddy can be there in case she wakes up.” Jacob only saw Krista twice a year, so I knew he wasn’t thrilled about staying under her care. I didn’t have a choice. Being without him to care for Heather wasn’t an option. I needed him close to me, no matter what happened.

“When can we go?”

I patted him on the head and leaned over to kiss him. “We need to get your things together and tell Grandma and Grandpa goodbye. Then we are going to fly in an airplane. How does that sound?”

My son’s eyes lit up. “Really? We get to fly in a plane?”

“Yep!” At least he had something to be excited about. I had no idea what I was going to say to my son if his mother didn’t make it through this. Somewhere down the road, he was going to figure out that us leaving was the reason that all of this had happened. I feared that conversation.

It just so happened that the airplane ride kept Jacob from asking any questions about his mother. As much as I wanted to keep him in the loop, he was only five, so it just wasn’t going to be anything he could understand.

My sister was over the moon about keeping him. I didn’t have time to stick around and catch up, but she walked me outside to give me her personal opinion. “Jess, what are you going to do?”

“What do you think I’m going to do? She’s the mother of my son. I’m not just going to leave her there all alone. I love her, no matter what anyone else thinks about it.” I hated arguing with Krista. It just was weird since we weren’t really on that kind of level with our relationship. I guess our good ole dad had messed her up so bad that she trusted nobody. Plus, I had badmouthed Heather so much that it was natural for my family and friends to hate her. Now, I hated myself for doing it.

She waved her hands around as she talked. “Whatever! Jacob is safe here. We’re going to take him to the movies tomorrow. The key is under the mat for whenever you need to come in and shower.”

I hugged her. “Thanks for this, Kris. I owe you big time.”

I knew she was rolling her eyes, but I’d already turned and started walking to the car. She wasn’t cool about me borrowing it, but since she wasn’t working for the next couple of days, she didn’t really need it.

After a couple of days, I was getting used to the sounds in the hospital. Nothing had changed as far as Heather’s condition, except the color of the bruising on her face. What started as red was now a dark purple.

She looked so peaceful each day as I sat there with her. Once Van headed back to town, I was the only visitor that showed up. It was fine by me, since I was sick of having to explain myself to my family, who didn’t understand why I’d had a change of heart all of the sudden.

For what it was worth, I hadn’t hid my feelings for Heather. They all knew that I loved her. They just knew that I had personal issues I couldn’t get over. With everything that had happened, the loss of her mother, and now the accident; I knew I couldn’t turn my back on her, not now, not ever.

Each day the doctor and nurses would come in and check her progress. I knew that with each day that passed it was less likely a chance that she was going to wake up. Sure, I’d heard all about Ty Mitchell and how he miraculously woke up from a coma after seven months. For it to happen to Heather would have been a miracle, but I couldn’t see being hopeful. I knew the statistics. For days, I’d sat in the hospital room looking up everything I possibly could.

Most of my research resulted in varied scenarios for her recovering. I didn’t care how Heather woke up. I just wanted it to happen.

When afternoon came and went, I walked down to the cafeteria to grab something to eat before they closed for the night. The vending machine didn’t have that much of a selection.

I’d just paid for my food and starting looking for the condiments when a little boy came up to me and punched me in the side. “Hey, Mister! I know you!”

I recognized the kid right away, and unfortunately, I recognized his mother, too. She came up and grabbed the back of his shirt. “Jax, get your butt back over here!” When she noticed me, she stood still and looked right at me.

I could tell she didn’t know what to say. “Sorry, I was just getting something to eat.” Without saying anything else, I walked over to a table and started eating. She followed me and sat down across from me, while Jax stood there beside her.

“You think I’m the bad guy, don’t you?”

It shocked me that she would come out and say that. “No!”

“I almost lost my children.” She looked over at Jax.

I sat my fork down and looked right at her. “I’m not here to judge you. I’m here because my girlfriend was in a terrible accident a few days ago.” I pointed to her son. “I don’t know why you’re here and I hope that everyone in your family is okay, but I can’t do this right now. Heather is fighting for her life. She has a son that needs her.”

I picked up my tray and started to get up, but she grabbed it. “Wait! I’m not a bad person.”

“Look lady, I appreciate you trying to find the words, but I need to get back upstairs. She’s going to wake up and I need to be there when she does.” I walked away from Ty’s wife without even asking about why she was in the hospital. It wasn’t my business and I really didn’t care.

I was happy to make it to the elevator and take my first full breath. I was still holding a tray of food, but had lost my appetite and had no interest in eating anything for the rest of the night. This town was too small and I got how Heather felt suffocated being in it.

As much as I thought she’d want to keep her house, I understood why she didn’t. Who would want to run into that family and be reminded of something that you didn’t want to remember all the time? I know I wouldn’t have.