Losing Him (17 page)

Maybe I was being irrational about the whole situation given my lack of sleep, but I was starting to understand why Heather would be okay with walking away and never coming back. Something felt wrong about it though. Her mother’s house was the only tie she still had to her. I didn’t want her to lose that.

I don’t know why the thought ran through my head, but as the elevator opened all of my thoughts disappeared.

When I arrived up to the floor Heather was on, I heard loud beeping and dashed towards her room. The nurses were running inside and I wedged my way in with them. I feared the worst as I approached where I could see what was going on.

My mouth dropped when I saw Heather’s eyes open. She had tried to sit up and the cord on her finger had fallen off. A few seconds later, the beeping slowed and I couldn’t take my eyes off of hers. She was looking right at me and I wanted her to know that I wasn’t going anywhere.

Chapter 23

Heather

I don’t know how I willed myself to open to my eyes, but it finally happened. Just like when I was dreaming, Jessie was there, looking at me with a big smile on his face. I tried to smile back, but that was too hard to do with a big mask across my face.

While the medical people did whatever they had to do to me, I kept looking at Jessie. I saw hope in his eyes and didn’t want to look away in case it wasn’t real. I still couldn’t remember how I’d gotten in the hospital, but Jessie was with me and that was all I cared about.

He looked tired, standing there with his arms crossed. Maybe he had been up all night worried about me. I wondered where Jacob was and immediately started to worry that something bad had happened to him. My heart rate jumped up and I’d created a new reason for the nurses to stick around.

Once that all settled and they’d pumped me full of clonazepam, I was left in the room with only Jessie. He walked over to my bed and grabbed my hand. “Hey. I was starting to think you weren’t going to wake up.”

Talking was hard since my mouth was so dry. He handed me a cup with a straw and I took a sip of water before being able to continue. “How did I get here?”

Jessie shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re going to get out of here and come home with me, where you belong.”

It was almost surreal to hear him saying that. I wanted to smile and celebrate, but instead I tried to reach for his hand, realizing that my arm was in a cast. “What’s wrong with me?”

He touched my cast. “You broke your arm, part of your neck and dislocated your hip. You had a contusion on your head and that’s why you were bandaged up. Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”

I felt his hand grabbing mine and I squeezed it. “I can’t move, but I guess it because all of this shit they have on me.” My neck brace was this giant collar. I hated it immediately. “When can I go home?”

“I don’t know. Maybe a couple of days.”

“How long have I been in here. You look tired.”

Jessie shrugged. “You’ve been here a few days. This chair isn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep in.”

I couldn’t turn my head that far to see the chair, but from working in a hospital, I could imagine what it looked like. “Jacob?” I just wanted to know he was alright.

“He’s at my sister’s. He got to fly on a plane with me to come here. You should have seen how excited he was. The pilot showed him around the cockpit after we landed. I think he wants to be a pilot now.”

If Jessie had to fly to be with me, that meant that he’d left already, just as I remembered. Whatever happened to me occurred after they’d left. As upset as I was, I couldn’t imagine inflicting any harm on myself. Something horrible must have happened. “I need to know how I got here. How did you find out I was in the hospital?”

He looked away from me and cleared his throat. “You really don’t remember?”

I tried to shake my head, but it was impossible. “No! I don’t remember anything.” I could tell that he didn’t want to talk about it, but I had every right to know how I’d gotten myself so messed up.

“After Jacob and I left, you must have lost it and started drinking.”

This was already not sounding like me. “I didn’t have enough wine to make me drunk. You have to be mistaken. Who said I was drinking? Did I fall down the steps?”

Jessie shook his head. He reached up and rubbed my cheek through my awful brace. “Heather, you were in a car accident. Baby, you got drunk and drove to the Mitchell farm.

My eyes must have come flailing out of my head. “I what? Are you joking with me, right now?”

“No, baby, I’m not! Jacob and I stopped at a motel. We tried calling you over and over again and you wouldn’t answer. When I ran out of options, I called Amy’s shop and was going to ask them to go and check on you. I had no idea that they’d been with you and knew where you were.”

I was in shock and still unable to remember anything after Jessie leaving me. What was wrong with me? Why would I even consider doing something so stupid? “Oh God, did I hurt anyone?”

“Only yourself.”

I was so relieved that I hadn’t hurt anyone. If that had happened again, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself. “Did I damage their property?”

“You totaled your mother’s car.”

I was scared to ask. “What did I hit?”

“You pulled out onto the road in front of a tractor trailer. He hit you on the driver’s side and sent your car out into a field.”

I still couldn’t remember anything. It was as if he was telling me some sick joke to get a rise out of me, except his demeanor never changed. He stood there straight faced explaining the actions of how I’d gotten in the hospital. “Was the driver hurt?”

“Apparently he walked away from it. Even his truck wasn’t badly damaged. I think Amy said that he just needed some bumper repair.”

“I was drunk?” I still couldn’t believe it.

“I’m afraid so.”

Then it hit me. “You came back for me?”

He nodded. “Jacob and I turned around that night. We slept at a hotel and drove back in the morning. Your mom’s house was dark and the car was gone, so I thought you went home to find us. It wasn’t until we were home that we found out what happened. Conner was nice enough to meet me at the airport and bring me here. They all feel bad about what happened.”

“What do you mean?”

He chuckled and it made me nervous. What could I have done to that family? “After you drank yourself into a stupor, you drove your mother’s car to the farm. I don’t know how it is set up. But they were all out in some barn. You barged in and gave them a piece of your mind. Ty said he tried to talk to you, but you weren’t hearing it. You got mad and flew down the lane, where you pulled out onto the road and had your accident.”

I was in shock, partly because I’d had the nerve to do something so bold and also because I couldn’t remember any of it. “I don’t recall anything after you left, Jess. I don’t remember any of it.”

“You were wearing the wedding dress.” He didn’t say it like it was funny. He said it like it was going to help me remember.

“No way. I wouldn’t do that. My mother worked so hard on it.” I was in shock.

“I feel like this is all my fault. If I’d just stayed then none of this would have ever happened.”

I was already starting to cry, imagining the fool I’d made of myself and then the fact that I’d ruined an irreplaceable dress that my mother had made for me. I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t ever disappoint her again and just days after she died, I was destroying the most precious gift she ever gave me, aside from life.

Jessie leaned over and kissed my hand. “Don’t cry, baby. Everything is going to be okay. I’m going to get you home with me and Jacob. We’re going to be together and everything will be exactly how you wanted it to be. I promise.”

It was just too much to take. First, I thought I was dreaming, now reality was just as weird. The last time I’d seen Jessie he was ending things for good. Now, all of the sudden, he wanted us to be a family. I couldn’t help but think that maybe he was only saying that because of my accident. It made me sad and confused. “You don’t have to do that. I will figure out how to manage everything.”

He tightened his brow. “No! You’re going to be out of work. You won’t be able to afford the apartment. Plus, we need to figure out what to do with your mother’s house. You’re moving in with me. I’m not going to argue with you about it.”

Due to the fact that I wanted it more than anything, I put on my best smile and agreed. Besides, it meant that I could be with my son every single day. Maybe in time, Jessie would appreciate that devotion and would really want to be with me again. I couldn’t push him. I knew he was doing this because I had nobody else. He may have been an asshole at times, but his heart was huge and he couldn’t walk away from me being in the situation that I’d gotten myself into. Eventually I would heal and then the story would be different.

“It sounds like you have it all figured out.”

A doctor came in the room and I recognized his voice right away. “Hey stranger. Do me a favor. The next time you’re in town, stop by my office instead of landing yourself in this place, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jessie moved out of the way to let the doctor stand in front of me. I hated trying to see people out of the corner of my eyes.

He did an examination of my eyes and my reflexes. Even though I couldn’t sit up to see my body, I could feel everywhere that he touched, which gave me hope. After that, he ordered a few tests and told me that I’d have to stay in the hospital for another week, just to be safe. I agreed to all of his terms, told him my medical information that he didn’t know and we said our goodbyes for the day.

With an idea of when I’d be getting out of the hospital, Jessie started making arrangements for us to get home. I’d have to start therapy as soon as possible, which would take place at his house.

I laid there while he made phone call after phone call, listening to him being so responsible. It was a real shame that it was out of pity. I would have liked to marry him and be with him forever. At least I’d have a little time to get myself together, physically and financially, before he kicked me to the curb again.

I’d never want to hurt myself to get Jessie’s attention. That part of my life was over a long time ago. It still felt good knowing that he was there for me.

Since I couldn’t remember going to the Mitchell farm, I couldn’t help but wonder what happened there. I wanted to know who I told off and what was said. Did I fight with Miranda and make her hate me even more than she already did? Did I hurt anyone or threaten them?

It was all driving me crazy.

Still, they weren’t questions that I needed to know immediately.

My main focus was getting better so that I could be with son again. Jessie was nice and called him as soon as the doctor left, so that we could talk. I could sense his excitement on the phone when he heard my voice. I started crying as soon as I heard him answer. Jacob was my rock and he was going to keep me moving forward, because he was the most important person in my life.

Like they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It was going to motto until I could move on with my life and learn how to be happy. I was going to strive for it, no matter how painful the road was going to be.

Chapter 24

Jessie

Heather had a lot to do before she was going to be able to get around on her own. With the help of a walker, the doctor thought she would be able to manage herself day to day, but not return to work.

About two years ago, my parents decided that they were going to branch out and purchase a hotel. Since that time, the bed and breakfast had been my project. I’d grown up there and knew everything that needed to be done to keep business going smoothly.

My house was located on the property, but a little bit away from where the guests would go. It was nestled in a patch of trees and offered a lot of privacy. With their newfound business venture, my parents had moved closer to town. They were still only about ten minutes from where I lived. It was close enough for them to be able to visit with Jacob whenever he was with me.

Anyway, when they found out about Heather’s predicament and the fact that she was going to be moving in with me again, they offered to help, even though I could tell they weren’t thrilled. Heather had forced them to come clean about my parents and they weren’t prepared for that, at the time. Even though I think we were all glad that the truth was out, they still held a grudge about it.

I could see how I did the same when it came to Heather. No matter how much she tried to make me love her and want to be with her, I still had this hold on the past and what she’d done to land on my front door.

Aside from my family, Jacob was thrilled to have both of us under the same roof. He lectured me every single night of the week that she was set to be released.

While Heather was stuck in the hospital, she had a visitor that somehow changed things. Her demeanor had changed and she even seemed optimistic about moving on. I saw a spark in her eyes that I’d never seen before.

The day she came home was difficult, since she had to fly on a plane. Her arm was still braced up and she had been fitted for a smaller neck collar. I knew she was uncomfortable, but we managed to make it work.

My parents picked the three of us up from the airport. I could see them putting on fake smiles for her benefit. Heather was grateful, even though I knew she knew they weren’t being sincere. As much as they loved Jacob, they would always have issues with Heather.

I think that she didn’t expect me to have moved all of her things into my place, but that’s what I did. Her landlord wasn’t too keen on her moving out, but her contract was only for a few more months anyway. Heather had been a good tenant and even paid for several new appliances in the time she lived there. He knew that he couldn’t argue with that being done, so he kept her security deposit and said she’d paid her last month’s rent as well. With that being taken care of, I grabbed a couple of my employees and we took a day to move everything from one house to the other.