Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (19 page)

"So what, Adrian?" I snapped. "I see you every single day and night, so it's pretty

normal to have dreams about you."

"Is that so, little sister?" he sneered. "All siblings in the world have
wet
dreams about

each other then?"

I felt the heat creeping all over my body as I flushed what I was sure was a dark shade

of red. "Adrian, I don—"

"Just fucking stop with the fucking denial and let's have a fucking real conversation!" he

spoke through clenched teeth.

"Fine! I do have …
those
kind of dreams! So what?" I folded my arms in front of my

chest.

"So, you admit it?"

"Yes!" I sighed in frustration.

"You're such a hypocrite. You've been having wet dreams about me since God only

knows when, and you're saying, 'So what?' after making me feel like shit because I touched

you without
'your permission'.
" He made air quotes. "That goes the same way, little sister."

"You're kidding me, right?" It was my turn to sneer. "You're seriously trying to compare

dreams that nobody has control over to real actions? Are you even sane?"

He frowned.

"You've never had a dream where you did something stupid like walking naked in the

street? Or hitting some old guy or stealing from some old woman? Any crazy dream about

something you'd never do in reality? Any stupid thing you did in your dreams that you felt

like hell because you enjoyed doing it when it's so wrong in reality?"

"So you enjoyed it in your dreams?" he leered.

"Adrian! I'm trying to have that
real
conversation you wanted!" I ignored his question.

"How would you feel if people judged you based on your dreams? The bad ones? Would

that be fair? You'd be stupid to compare what you did to me while I'm unconscious to the

dreams I had while I'm
unconscious
, without any kind of control from me."

He was silent for a moment, taking what I just said in, I guess, then he nodded

carelessly. "Okay. I guess you're right," he sighed.

I sighed too.

"But …"

Oh, no!

"Don't you think that you had those dreams because your body wanted to give you

some kind of a message?" The smirk was back on his lips again, and then he raised a hand

and touched my cheek with the back of his knuckles softly. I absently closed my eyes and

leaned a little into his touch. He reached down to my chin and pressed on it slightly with his

thumb and the side of his pointer finger. I didn't know what he was doing until after he did

it – he was trying to release my bottom lip from between my teeth. I didn't even know I was

biting it.

"It's not true!" I swallowed thickly. "I don't want it," I whispered. I felt a little

lightheaded as the back of his hand traveled down to touch my throat softly.

"You kissed me back," he said softly, his hand still touching my neck slowly. "Every

time I kissed you, you kissed me back."

I opened my eyes lazily to look at his face. He was watching me closely, his face just an

inch away from mine.

"I didn't know what else to do." I was pretty sure that he wouldn't have heard me if he

wasn't so close.

"Don't deny us this, Lily," he whispered. "We could be something really good; don't

deny us the happiness we would both feel."

I couldn't open my eyes anymore; his words, his breath on my cheek, his hand…

Oh God! His hand!
Too much!

His hand surrounded the side of my neck, and he brought me even closer with it, then

his lips were firmly pressed to mine. He kissed my lower lip first, then pressed another soft

yet so passionate kiss on my upper one, then tugged on my lower lip with both of his lips. I

felt his tongue as it ever so slowly made a swift lick over my lips.

His tongue pushed its way inside my mouth, and I let him explore. I won't lie, it felt

amazingly good! And so wrongly right!

I didn't know that he was pushing me slightly into lying down on the bed until my back

hit the mattress – and Adrian was on top of me.

"Adrian!" I breathed once he left my mouth to move down my throat and collarbone. I

didn't know what I wanted to say, but it felt good to say his name. I think he agreed, too,

because I was pretty sure I heard a low groan escaping his mouth and into my neck.

His other hand — the one that wasn't still on my neck with its thumb rubbing my jaw

line softly — made it to the hem of my small tank top. I felt his fingertips touching the bare

skin between my waistband and the start of my top ever so slowly, ever so carefully, ever so

wonderful y
.

My head was spinning as I felt his hot breaths on my neck. My hands, as if they had a

mind of their own, made it to his hair. I pressed him more into my neck as my fingers buried

themselves deep into the mess of his hair.

"I can make you feel so good," he breathed into my ear. "Just tell me you want it, too."

I wasn't in any state of thinking clearly by that time, feeling the softness of his voice,

feeling his hot breaths, and the sound of his words.
Too freaking much!

His hand made it to my right breast from under my top, and both of us moaned as he

squeezed it—
hard
. I saw …I didn’t know … something really good that I couldn't even

name firing behind my closed lids.

"Oh, God!" I gasped when he brushed his thumb over my nipple.

"That's right,
baby
," he whispered.

Baby?

And that was my wake-up call. I didn't know where I got the power from, but I pushed

him off of me, feeling the loss immediately.

"We can't!" I panted as I sat up on the edge of the bed, looking at the floor.

I heard him huffing.

A few moments later, our breathing became steadier. He was still sitting behind me on

the bed, then I felt him get up to kneel in front of me.

He took my hands in his, softly this time, brought them to his lips and kissed them, one

little kiss on each one. "Why can't we?" he asked calmly.

"You have a girlfriend!" It was the best I could come up with.

"I'll break up with her—
tonight
if that's what you want," he replied simply.

"I don't care …"

Even though I real y do!

"Why we can't then, little sister?"

"Because of just that, Adrian! I'm your sister."

"But we both want more."

"No, Adrian! Not me! I don't want that! I don't feel like that about you; you're my

brother!"

He shook his head and released my hands, then he moved both of his hands through

his hair in frustration. Moments later he stood up, and I thought he was going to leave, but

he had other plans for me.

Both of his hands held my jaw and forced me to look at him. My own hands came up to the

hands that were gripping my jaw, trying to release it, but all my tries were in vain, as he was

holding it too firmly.

"I think I said more than one fucking time, stop with the fucking denial!"

"Let go!" I tried to pull his hand away, but nothing.

"Remember the way your tongue licked my fingers yesterday? Huh? What was that?

Were you trying to seduce me or not? Huh?"

I didn't!
Did I?

"Remember that hug in the bathroom, little sister?" he growled. "The night I told you I

was going to
fuck
Emma, huh?"

Even with the shock I was in from Adrian's actions, I still had it in me to cringe at the

sound of his words.

"Answer me!" he demanded and pressed more on my jaw.

"Yes!" My voice was nothing but a choked whisper.

"What was that about? Huh? And don't fucking give me the
'hugging you good luck'

bullshit, because I don't buy it!"

"I—uh, I wanted to do something for you to remember me with while you were with

her," I blurted out.

Oh, no! What did I just say?

He froze for a moment, his eyes staring right into mine, then he spoke again.

"Is that so, little sister?" he sneered, then he let go of my jaw. I rubbed where his hands

were – it kind of hurt! "Then I'll give you something really good for you to remember
me

with." He took off his shirt.

Before I even got the chance to think, I was on my back, both of my hands held with

one of his behind my head , not forcibly – I could easy loosen his grip on them if I wanted

to – but with enough pressure to keep them in place. He was on top of me, his weight

pinning me to the bed.

He was kissing all over my face and neck like a crazy person, while his other hand was

holding my breast.

"Tell me to stop, Lily." He challenged, "Tell me to stop and I will."

But I couldn't say it, I didn't know why. Maybe I was enjoying it, and the thought of it

being something I enjoyed disgusted me. But I still said nothing.

"Adrian!" I gasped at the sensation. I couldn't believe that he was actually doing this. He

didn't reply, instead he moved the hand that was holding my breast to my leg, hooked it over

his back and ground his erection into my center.

I couldn't help but let out a small moan as the friction he created hit me just in the right

spot. His grip on my wrists tightened even more at the sound of my moan, and his wet

kisses became more frantic, yet I knew I should say something to stop it.

"See? You want me, little sister, you just won't admit it!" he groaned into the top of my

breasts.

"I. Don't. Want. It." I said through clenched teeth.

He stopped for a second, one hand still holding my wrists, and his other one still

squeezing the back of my thigh while holding it still over his back. He stared right into my

eyes.

"Are you telling me that if I touched that sweet little kitten of yours I wouldn't find it

wet and waiting?" he asked. His hand started to travel the short way to my womanhood! I

hated it.

It felt so disgusting to hear those words from him. In one second I got the strength to

do what I knew I
could
do, but didn't want to, because I hated to hurt him – though he had it

coming!

The leg that was trapped between his made its way to his crotch, where I hit him hard

with my knee.

He groaned loudly and winced as he rolled off of me. The sound broke my heart,

hearing him in pain that
I
caused, but I couldn't just lie there and let him do that or speak

that way to me without me doing anything about it!

"Fucking asshole!" I yelled as I got out of the bed. My voice was cracking and it was so

obvious that I was hurt, though I didn't know what hurt me the most –what Adrian did, or

the fact that I'd hurt him.

I made it to the door of my room, and as I was walking I was kind of grateful that he

didn't touch me down there. I couldn't handle the humiliation of him discovering how wet I

really was. It was so wrong. I found that my door was locked from the inside, and I couldn't

help but wonder if he just really wanted only to talk and things got out of hand, or if he'd

planned this all along.

Tears started to stream down my cheeks as I closed the door behind me, still hearing his

curses and moans of agony and pain, not really knowing what I was crying for – it just felt

the right thing to do.

In the guest bathroom, I cried some more for God only knows what, then I washed my