Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (21 page)

were with each other, but it was just another reminder for me about what I couldn't have.

And… I hate this!

I never thought the day I would ask Sandra to take me shopping would ever come, but

apparently it actually happened. I, Lillian Claire Smith, asked the mighty fashion-freak Sandra

Jean Moore to take me shopping. That had never happened before, and I mean
never
.

Sandra always dragged me against my will to the mall with her, where I ended up with a

headache and swollen feet. But that seemed preferable to staying home with Julia, to pat her

hand every two seconds so she would stop crying. Or to going out with Elliot when Sandra

was busy doing some new thing with her hair, and hearing him go on about how much he

loved Sandra and how he was so sure she was the one. I mean,
okay, I get it, would you just shut

up?

I was even tired of hearing the broken CD that Ian played every single time he saw a

girl. It was actually boring, and I had no idea how girls fell for the crappy lines that he picked

up from old movies!

And things got a little awkward between the two of us after he kissed me. I didn't know

why he'd been acting all weird around me; it was just a little kiss, for God's sake! A little kiss

that actually ended the same moment it started. And let's not forget that it was for charity, so

why all the fuss? Was it possible that he liked me?

Anyway, I bought some new clothes for the new school. I was so excited to go back to

school the next day and finally find something to do with my stupid, boring life.

When I got back home after Sandra dropped me off, the house was empty, as it was

most of the time. Mom was busy decorating a mansion. It was her first time to decorate a

mansion and she was so excited about it. She'd hardly been home in almost two weeks, just

like Dad who was hardly home since … well … ever!

I sighed as I made it up to the second floor, noticing that there was light coming from

Adrian's room.

So, he's here? Whatever.

I started filling the tub with hot water, adding bubbles then my relaxing oils after I

inhaled a long sniff from the bottle. Then I locked Adrian's door and started undressing.

The water felt amazing, and I felt my body start to relax. I rested my head, which was

wrapped in a towel, behind me and let myself relax some more.

"What is it?"

My head shot up immediately to look in the direction the voice was coming from. My

eyes nearly bugged out of my head as I saw Emma coming into the bathroom followed by

Adrian.

"Just wait," he replied.

I sunk a little deeper into the water. I knew they couldn't see me because I was behind

the curtain, but you never know, it was slightly open after all. But what the heck was I

supposed to do?

"What is that smell? Jasmine?" she asked, and I panicked. It was my oils, and I was so

afraid they'd find me.

"Lilies," he answered simply. Then he kissed her hard on her lips, making her back up a

little to his counter.

"Oh!" she breathed. "Is that why you brought me in here?"

"You didn't think I wanted to show you my new toothbrush, did you?" He kissed her

again.

My heart dropped to my stomach, this couldn't be happening. I couldn't watch this.
Oh,

my God! What should I do?
I couldn't just sit there and watch, or close my eyes and listen. I

freaking couldn't!

"You and your kink!" she smiled.

"Turn around," he ordered her nicely. She did as she was told and turned around with a

grin on her face. I sunk a little deeper in the water, afraid that she'd see me, but she was

looking at the floor.

This was so embarrassing! I watched as Adrian moved a little from behind her as he

scanned my counter with his eyes. His gaze landed on something, and he reached over and

picked it up. It was my hair tie.

Oh no! no! no! no!
No funny business with my hair tie!

He moved a hand through Emma's blonde hair and brought it together, while the other

hand was still holding the tie tightly as if it was going to escape his hand somehow. Then he

brought it to his nose and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. He then tied her hair with my hair

tie in a loose ponytail. He reached for the back pocket of his jeans that he was wearing alone

with no shirt and brought out a small item which he then ripped open with his teeth. A

condom.

Oh, crap!
He's actual y going to do this?
Here?
Now?

Emma's body was blocking my sight, so I didn't see him while he rolled the condom

over …
himself
. And, I really didn't know why I was disappointed that I’d missed that. He

then started stroking himself. I couldn't see that either, but it didn't take a genius to figure

out what he was doing either.

"Bend over," he commanded as he rubbed her backside, and she obeyed right away

without a word. I wondered for a brief second what had been going through her mind in the

past few moments since he'd asked her to turn around, but then I thought:
I real y don't care.

Adrian raised her skirt. She was still fully dressed with her tight red sleeveless blouse and

denim miniskirt, but he didn't undress her at all. He moved her panties to one side and

moved forward a little so his body was pressed to hers.

That was when it
really
hit me!
OHMYGOD!
Adrian was going to have sex with Emma,

right in front of my eyes! My blood ran cold, and I felt it draining from my face at the

realization. How could I handle something like that? I got jealous just from watching them

kiss; I thought I might die watching them going at it.

Emma let out a moan when he pushed himself inside her, but he didn't go in and out

like people do – What? I wasn't that naïve, I knew what happened during sex – he twisted

her ponytail around his hand and gripped it, causing her head to fall back a little. From the

expression on her face and the squeezing of her eyes, he'd pulled hard. Then it happened.

Her moans filled the bathroom along with his pants. He was thrusting really hard in and

out of her and it was driving
me
insane. The whole jealousy I was feeling, even though it was

too much, was slightly covered with the …
desire
I felt. Yes, desire.

I couldn't help but ogle the muscles in his arm clenching and unclenching as he gripped

her hair more and more, and the sweat that formed on his forehead as his thrusts became

even harder.

His face was another thing; I couldn't even begin to describe how perfect and …
erotic

his features looked. He was something else. I found myself ever so slowly rubbing my thighs

together, but thought better of it when it made a little noise with the water around me –

which by the way was beginning to get cold, though my body was warm enough.

It was like Emma didn't exist in that moment, it was only Adrian and my imagination of

being in her place that turned me on. It was like that for a minute, I completely forgot she

was there and the jealousy that filled me at the thought of them together.

As his thrusts continued, he bent a little closer to her head and buried his nose in her

hair, right on my hair tie, then inhaled deeply.

"Fuck, that smells too fucking good," he breathed.

"You like my new shampoo?" Emma asked breathlessly.

"Quiet!" he groaned, and she obeyed right away.

"I'm close!" he announced in a pant. "You better come now,"

Her moans became louder as his thrusts became harder, and I found myself drooling at

the sweet frown that formed on his forehead – and I didn't mean only my
mouth
was

drooling.

Suddenly his eyes caught mine. I didn't blink. I stared. He stared. Then he came. And I

melted
.

His eyes narrowed slightly but he kept them open. I didn't know how long it lasted, but

my first blink was after Emma started re-adjusting her clothes and he walked to the trash can

then washed his hands.

What the fuck just happened?

They kissed once before they left the bathroom, and he 'thanked her' for the 'quickie',

she was grinning like an idiot.

And as he was closing the door behind him, he
winked
at me.

He freaking winked!

I was pissed when I got out of the bathroom. I wrapped my bathrobe around my body

and flopped on my bed, face down. I forcibly yanked the towel from around my head and

threw it to the floor.

How could he?
Why did he do that?
Why did he keep hurting me?

I kept on punching my poor pillow over and over again. I was so freaking pissed that I

wanted to break something. Suddenly I felt like I was choking. I wanted to cry, but I was too

pissed. The air was leaving my lungs and I wanted a breather.

I went to my balcony, which surrounded the whole of the second floor of the house –

the back of it to be clear, including mine and Adrian's rooms, as well as my parents'. None of

us went out there much, though it had a great view.

And of course, since I was so lucky and the world was always smiling at me and all, I

saw Emma's car pulling out of the garage as my dear brother stood nearby. He leaned down

to kiss her when she stopped beside him. Then, he reached for her hair and pulled m— …

the
hair tie, then fixed her hair sweetly. I wanted to smack him.

He put it in his pocket as they smiled stupidly at each other while she finally made it out

of my freaking house.

I hate her!
With a passion.

I buried my head in my hands as I stood there resting my arms on the railing of the

balcony, closing my eyes and trying to calm myself down. A nudge on my shoulder made me

even more pissed.

I didn't respond to him; I didn't even move. I didn't want to see him or even hear his

voice.

He squeezed my shoulder gently. "Lily?" he called in a low voice. I didn't reply.

"You shouldn't be standing here in the air wearing so little after a warm bath," he

started. "You'll catch pneumonia and die."

I chuckled dryly at his words. "Yeah, like you care."

"You know I do." He squeezed my shoulder once more, and I shrugged his hand away.

"Yeah, right! As evidenced by the finger you show me every time I try to talk to you."

"You made it clear that you don't want me near you," he huffed.

I said nothing, I didn't have the energy to argue; I didn't even want to speak at all.

"Please, get inside."

"Leave me alone!' I spat over my shoulder.

"Fine." I heard him starting to walk away, then he stopped. "Oh! I almost forgot, you

dropped this,"

I turned to see what he was talking about and found him holding out my …
the
freaking

hair tie for me. I yanked it from his hand and threw it at his face, thinking it might help

remove that stupid smirk from his face, but it only made him chuckle.

"Asshole!" I spat again.

"Oh! I'm sorry, are you mad or something, little sister?"

"Only disgusted, dear brother." I wrapped my arms in front of my chest.

"Is that so? You look a little jealous, though."

"Ha! You wish you had that kind of effect on me." I was using my serious tone, but I

couldn't help but panic a little as he took slow steps toward me.

"So you enjoyed the show then?" he asked as he rested his hands along the railing on

either side of me.

"More like threw up in my mouth a little about three hundred times!"

He kept looking so deep into my eyes. He was so close to me that I didn't know if I

wanted to slap him or kiss him. It was like he was daring me into saying something, and

although I wanted to, I didn't at the same time.

Do I make any sense?
No?
Yeah, thought so.

"W-why did you do that?" I asked hesitantly.

"I was horny," he replied simply with a shrug of one shoulder.

"T—that's not what I meant and you know it. Why in front of me?"

"Well," he started, and slowly brought his hand to move some of my wayward locks

behind my ear. "I needed some …
inspiration
." I swallowed thickly as his hand crept slowly to

my neck, and into the naked hollow between my breasts that my bathrobe didn't cover.

"And what inspiration you give me, my sweet little sister," he whispered as his lips touched

my neck and left a tender kiss there.

I took in a sharp breath, and the embers inside me were doused.

"Get off me, you fucking asshole!" I pushed him away. "You smell like her!"

I couldn't help the tears that kept streaming down my cheeks as I closed my balcony

door right in his face. I flopped onto the bed once again, but this time I was crying like

crazy. It didn't escape my mind that I was deeply hurt because of what I witnessed a while

ago.

It also didn't escape me that it wasn't only jealousy I felt – it was something more.

Betrayal, maybe.

I hated the fact that she could give him something that
…
I
couldn't.
I hated the fact that