Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (20 page)

face and left, glad to remember that Mom had plans for the day and had probably left long

ago before I even woke up. Or before Adrian woke me up to be clearer.

I silently prayed with everything in me that he wouldn't still be in my room when I

made it back upstairs. I didn't know how I would act if he was.

He wasn't. With a sigh of relief, I locked my door behind me, then went into the

bathroom and locked his bathroom door as well. I needed a long time to think…

I was being a bitch and I knew it, I should have just told him to stop without hurting

him, but I was so confused and mad. Maybe at myself more than at him. Mad at him for

touching me, and mad at myself for liking it and not stopping it when I was able to.

Two weeks had passed since –
that day
, apparently the not-speaking-to-each-other thing was

what we did best.

What. Ever!

We spent the whole day at Sean and Sandra's house, since it was the last night for all of

us together before Sean had to leave for college. Julia was his same age, but she missed a

whole year of school before she moved to Seattle with her family. Something bad had

happened to her that I hated to even think about which caused her to spend a long time

recovering. They all ended up moving here for her sake.

It was pretty clear that she wasn't completely okay with him leaving her. They cared so

much about each other, but he kept on assuring her that he'd come home whenever he

could, which still wasn't good enough thinking about how far New York was, but, eh, he'd

get to play football on the college team and Julia had to swallow it for his sake. She was

happy for him, but
the distance hurts
– her words not mine.

"Lily."

The sound of my name startled me from my thoughts, and I looked up from the floor

to Elliot. "Truth or dare?" he asked.

"Truth," I said. We were playing Truth or Dare. I didn't know who the idiot was who

suggested it, but we were bored stupid to be honest, plus Sean and Julia really had to have

some distraction for them to take their hands off of each other.

"Who did you share your first kiss with?" Elliot asked from the small paper in his hands.

My stupid luck!
"Uh… I-I've never been kissed!" I blushed as I replied in a quiet voice,

glancing at Adrian to see him not looking at me, though he was clenching his jaw tightly.

Like I can say it was Adrian!

"Ian!" I said after a long pause of uncomfortable silence, trying to get the game going

and for the all of them to think about something other than the fact that I was almost

eighteen and had never been kissed.

If they only knew the ugly truth!
Not that I was going to enlighten them by any means, of

course!

He looked up at me. "Truth or dare?"

"I'll take a dare!" he answered with pride.

Okay… This is going to be interesting!

I picked up a small paper from the "Dare" pot and opened it. To my surprise it was in

Ian's horrible handwriting. I shook my head as I read it, and then I tried to cover my smile as

I read it out loud.

"Go ask the neighbors for some salt, wearing only a bra and a short skirt!" I said and the

rest busted out laughing while Ian stared at me with wide eyes. Knowing what a pervert he

was, I was pretty sure that he meant the dare for one of the girls to do, but karma was a cruel

B.

"I'll take a truth!" he blurted out, and it sent everyone in a new round of laughter.

"Too late, bro!" Sean said through his laughs.

"I'm not gonna wear a bra!"

"Don't forget the skirt!" Elliot laughed.

"Shut up, dick!"

"Guys, c'mon, just ask him a question, Lily, and let's get it over with." Julia whined.

"Okay," I picked another paper, from the Truth pot this time.

"Have you ever had sex in public?" I asked, and blushed again.

Ian's whole face lit up with a huge grin. What a pervert! "Hell, yes! I stopped counting

after the hundredth time, babe," he winked.

Gross!

"Pig!" Sandra murmured and he laughed.

"Sandra!" Ian said and she glared at him.

"Truth." she said without waiting for him to ask.

"Who did you lose your virginity to?" he asked with a smirk.

Sandra turned around – as she was leaning her back on Elliot's chest since we were all

sitting on the floor in a circle – and kissed him. They looked so sweet together.

"I'll lose it to Elliot, but we're just waiting for the right time." she replied with a smile. I

saw Sean rubbing his forehead, clearly not comfortable hearing this, but he sucked it up.

"Julia!" Sandra smiled. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Sandra asked, and I guess it was

without thinking.

Oh, crap!
"Oh, my God!" Sandra gushed. "I'm so sorry, Julia, I wasn't thinking!" I think

Sandra was about to cry.

"It's okay," Julia said in a low voice. Sean kissed the top of her head and rubbed her arm

soothingly. "I think you all know the answer already."

"Shhh, honey! I love you!" Sean kissed the top of her head again.

"Adrian!" Julia called, ending another awkward silence. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" he said. He had been asking for dares over and over again, nonstop.

"Make out with your sibling, using tongues!" Julia read with a disgusted expression.

Oh, no!
"Who's the sick fuck who wrote this?" Sean yelled and took the paper from her.

I think I have a pretty good idea!

"Capitals!" he said, apparently 'the one' who wrote it was trying to hide who he was.

"Ian!" Elliot said.

"What?! Don't look at me! I didn't!" he laughed.

"You're the only one who wouldn't be hurt from it, idiot!" Julia said, and he laughed

some more.

"Yes, true! If it went to any of the siblings in here, it'd hurt four people not just one –

well, three in our case since Lily doesn't have a boyfriend and all," Emma noted.
Yes, rub it

right in my face, you stupid thing!

Everyone was pointing a finger at Ian but he was just laughing. It didn't go unnoticed by

me that Adrian and I were the only ones not protesting, and that he was giving me side

glances every now and then as they fought.

"I'm not gonna do it, would you all just shut up!" I yelled, sending them all into silence

as they stared at me. "This game sucks!" I stood up and walked away to sit in front of the

TV.

A while later Ian came and out of nowhere he kissed me a lightly on the lips. “Now you’ll

never have to say, 'I've never been kissed before,’ again.” I think he thought of me as a

charity case, but before I knew what happened, Adrian shoved him to the floor and off of

me. Everyone started yelling and screaming, and Ian kept on telling him to calm down and

chill because it meant nothing.

When it was time to say goodbye to Sean at the airport, I looked at Sean and Julia as they

said their goodbyes. They kissed so sweetly through their tears, and he whispered some

things in her ear that made her smile sadly at him.

It was heartbreaking to look at them, and so sweet at the same time. I couldn't help but

think how thankful I was that Adrian and I were the same age, and we wouldn't have to face

something like that. I couldn't help but feel a big ache in my chest to imagine that we could

ever be separated like that someday.

I was thinking that way about my brother, not my lover or even my boyfriend.

Was that normal?!

Adrian took every chance he had to make my blood boil in my veins with jealousy. He kissed

Emma in front of me more times than I had hairs on my head. And I wasn't talking about

chaste kisses, I was taking about sloppy ones, with tongues, groping and even some under-

the-clothes actions.

I hated him!

But, could I do anything about it? Absolutely not!

My life was boring; he wasn't talking to me whatsoever. I tried once to talk to him,

asking him politely to pass me the milk as we were having breakfast a few days ago, but he

simply showed me his middle finger without even looking at me.

I hated it!

It seemed like the only thing Julia could do lately was cry because she was missing Sean

so much. Not even a week had passed yet since he left for college, though she made it sound

like two hundred years or something.

I hated that!

Sandra kept talking only about Elliot and how happy she was with him and…
ugh!
My

head hurt just thinking about it! Don't get me wrong; I loved to see how happy they both