Take it Deep (Take 2) (13 page)

“Thanks for that
, Jake.”  He smiles and opens the car door for me. 

“No problem at all.
”

He doesn’t tell me where he’s taking me and I quickly find out why when we pull up close to La Bistro restaurant.  “Jake, this is unfair,” I say.
 

“I don’t understand what you mean
, Ana.  We’re just here for some lunch.”  He smiles giving himself away. 

“Jake Bennett, you know exactly what you’re doing and it’s not fair.”  He kills the engine and looks across at me. 

“I thought I had already told you, Ana, I don’t play fair.  Not when it comes to you.  Besides, what’s wrong with this restaurant anyway?” 

I get out of the car and
he follows my movements.  “Jake, you know what this restaurant represents.  It was where we first met each other.” 

He frowns, “Really, I hadn’t noticed.” 

He smiles and I shake my head.  “If you weren’t a police captain, you’d make an excellent criminal mastermind, do you know that?”  That grin appears again and my heart skips a beat.  Boy am I in trouble.

We make our way to the restaurant
, choosing a seat outside as it’s such a lovely day.  The waitress hands us the menus and we order some soft drinks. 

“Are you sure
you don’t want some tequila?” he smirks. 

“No, why on earth would I want to take shots in the middle of the day when I have to get back to work?  You know the boss can be a hard-ass, don’t you?” 

“I’m not quite sure that the boss would take too kindly to being called a hard-ass,” he laughs. 

I smile, “No, I don’t think he would.” 

The waitress is back and takes our order.  I don’t like to eat too much for lunch so I order myself a Caesar salad.  Jake orders a cheeseburger with fries. 

“So, why
are you trying to ply me with tequila?” 

Should I really be encouraging this? 

“I seem to remember the last time you had some tequila, you let your guard down and told me things you would have normally kept to yourself.” 

He takes a swig of his coke and winks at me.  “I remember that well
, Jake, and I seem to also recall how ill I was the next day.” 

“Ouch
, Ana, that hurt,” he winces. 

I put on my best voice reserved for babies and say, “I’m sowry.  I didn’t mean to hurt
your widdle feelings.”  I start laughing despite myself.  It feels good to be around him and play like this.  We used to always poke fun like this together.  It’s so easy to be around him, but then the thought makes me suddenly uneasy. 

“I thought you invited me here to talk about work?  We haven’t discussed anything remotely to do with work as yet.” 

I know I’ve now digressed from what we were talking about, but it was intentional.  I didn’t like where it was quickly heading. 

“I did want to talk to you about work.
  How are the statistics going?  I know they can be a bitch and just wanted to know you were okay with it.” 

I start laughing
, “You could have asked me this at work, Jake.” 

Our lun
ch arrives and we pause for a second waiting for the waitress to place our meals on the table.  She quickly retreats after saying our thanks and I start tucking in. 

“I know, but I haven’t seen you for so long and I miss being near you, even though I can’t touch you.  It kills me to restrain myself, but I’m not going to push you.  I just want to have you close to me.” 

My knees begin to tremble at the thought of him touching me.  I didn’t mean to but my eyes lock onto his lips for a moment before coming back up to those incredible sexy eyes of his. 

“That day here a year ago was the start of something monumental for me.  It was the day I met the love of my life.  I’ve never been the same since.  It was like a bolt of
lightning struck me that day.  That, or maybe cupid paid me a visit.” 

I shift a little uncomfortably
in my seat.  The familiar burn is there again and I hated my body for reacting. 

“I’m sorry
, Ana.  I’m making you uncomfortable.  I don’t mean to do it, but it is hard for me to keep quiet over you.  For so long I kept my feelings to myself and it tore me apart.  I refuse to keep silent about you now.  On the other hand, I know this is not what you want to hear, so I’ll say no more.  You know how I feel, I love you and nothing’s going to change that.” 

A part of me wanted to scream that I loved him
, too, that I wanted him to pick me up, take me home and make love to me over and over again.  The only thing that stopped me—and that stops me every time—is that fresh memory in my head of that day he abandoned me.  The day he broke my heart in two. 

I place my fork down to say something but he puts his hand up, “Don’t,
it’s okay.  I don’t expect anything from you.  I understand I hurt you badly and I would do anything in my willpower to take that back.  Sometimes I wish I was Doctor Who.” 

I smile de
spite myself.  He always used to watch Doctor Who with me as he knew how much I liked it.  He pretended he only did it to please me, but I know he secretly likes it just as much as I do.  He would never admit it to me of course. 

“I’m not going to lie to you
, Jake, that day wasn’t the best day in my lifetime.” 

He interrupts me, “I’m not talking about that day.” 

I frown, “What do you mean?”  I ask. 

“I would go back to the very beginning, before we ever even met.  I would
wait here, as I remember you telling me you used to come here after one of your fitness classes and have a slice of their carrot cake.  You said it was your treat after your class, that you didn’t feel guilty about having it as you had already burned it off.  You said that as it was carrot, you thought you were having a dose of your five a day.”  He pauses for a moment, smiling, “I would have been here, waiting for you.  I would have met you first.  I know exactly where we would be now if that had happened.” 

Why does he always do that, know
exactly the right things to say?  “You remember all of this?”  I ask, stunned. 

“Ana, I’ve already told you before.  I remember everything about you. 
Everything.” 

When he talks to me like that it
just makes the whole situation that much harder.  I love him so much with all my heart.  It hurts like hell to keep away from him when he says those sweet precious words to me.  How dare he make me love him so much. 

He places his hand on mine and traces my knuckles with his finger
tips.  The feeling sends a shiver down my spine.  I close my eyes in surrender, willing my body to react and pull my hand away. 

“You still love me, don’t you?” 

I open my eyes and the tears begin to threaten.  I feel his piercing into my soul and I almost gasp at the wonderful intrusion. 

“I’m not doing very well here am I?  I didn’t mean to upset you.  I’m sorry.”
 

Jake
apologizing to me is only making me feel worse.  If he was pushier, then I could at least argue with him and try to teach him a lesson.  He makes it so much harder being nice like this.  It makes me hate him even more, or love him.  I wish my brain would shut up and stop thinking.  I try to compose myself and the rest of the meal is done in awkward silence.

The waitress came to take our plates.  Jake ordered the bill and she came out a couple of minutes later and hands it to him smiling.  I didn’t like that. It was obvious she was ogling him and it got my back up.  Jake was completely oblivious to it of course and it only made me want him all the more.  She then looks at me making her way over to where I’m sitting.  This is strange. 

“Are you
, Ana Sinclair?” 

I nod, “Yes,” I say
, confusion all over my face.  I look toward Jake and he looks just as confused as me. 

“I was asked to hand you this note from a gentleman who just left.” 

She reaches her hand out to me and I take the note thanking her.  Who on earth could this be?  I open it up and gasp loudly.  I place my hand on my chest and grip on to it for dear life.  Jake notices my anguish and gets up. 

“Ana, what’s going on?  Who is it that sent
you the note?  Ana!” 

I’m frozen, unable to move or speak a word.  He gently pulls the note from my grip
and reads it.  The tears are streaming now and Jake quickly throws some money on the table and pulls me up. 

“Come with me
, Ana.  We need to talk.” 

I don’t argue with him.  I need to get out of there fast.  Alan has just tainted the one place I felt safe and happy
, and I hate him with a vengeance because of it. 

I’m q
uickly snapped into reality with the thought that Jake now knows of his existence.  The one person I wanted to hide my ugly secret from is now about to find it out.  I didn’t want it to be this way.  Marcos told me I had to report it and he was right, but I didn’t want it to happen this way.

We pull into a secluded spot about ten minutes away and Jake turns to me. 

“Ana, who is this?  T
ell me, please.  Has he hurt you?” 

I start trembling and he reaches his hand across to mine. 

“Ana, whoever this is, I can tell he has scared the shit out of you.  Are you being stalked or something?” 

I nod my head because at the moment it’s all I can do. 

“Why haven’t you reported this?  Do you know who he is?” 

I nod my head again. 

“So who is it, a past boyfriend?  The note said ‘Are you trying to make me jealous?’  What does he mean?” 

I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes.  “He was my stepfather.
” 

His face contorts in agony.  It was j
ust what I wanted to avoid, and the reason why I never told him. 

“What happe
ned between you two?  Did you—”

I shake my head willing him to stop and he does.  The tears come again and it is then he puts two and two together.
 

“It was one sided wasn’t it?” 

I grip my eyes shut and nod again.  A little sod escapes me and he leans over wrapping his arms around me. 

“Ana, I wish you had told me about this.  I would have been there for you.  I want nothing more than to take the pain away.” 

I inhale his sweet scent, thinking there is nothing more I would want in the world than to have Jake take that pain away. 

I pull away from his embrace and begin my story about Alan.  He sits there gripping the steering wheel tightly, but lets me pour the whole story out to him
, without interruption. 

When I finish he closes his eyes as though he is willing his anger under control.  He
’s got that look about him.  The one I’ve seen a lot of times, and I know exactly what it means.  He wants to kick ass and to be honest, I would very much like to see Alan’s ass get kicked. 

He manages to compose himself and he turns to me. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because you always said yourself that I was a magnet for trouble
, didn’t you?  What would you have thought of me if I let that little gem out?  First Tony and now him.  What must you think of me?” 

He gra
bs my hand, “Ana, look at me—look at me.”

I turn my head and see the pain in those beautiful green eyes. 

“I was an asshole for coming out with that.  I knew it was wrong the minute it left my lips.  What happened at the bar with that jerk off made me mad because I couldn’t be the one to control it for you.  I was frustrated that I couldn’t kick the crap out of him for thinking he could lay his hands on you.  I wanted to be the one to hold you and dance with you.  I was angry that some stranger thought he could walk up to you and touch you the way that he did.  I was angry at him, at the situation.  I could never be angry with you.  I was frustrated and you were the nearest person I could vent my frustration on.  What happened at the bar, Tony, and what’s happening now is not your fault.  You have to believe me.  Ana, it’s not your fault.”

He emphasiz
ed the last four words with such force that it was almost like he was trying to burrow them into me.  He cups my face and leans his forehead on mine.  We stay motionless for a few seconds and I feel his breathing pick up.  He pulls my head further down and gently kisses me on the lips.  He slightly pulls away and looks me in the eyes like he’s searching for a reaction.  My body screams ‘fuck it!’ as I pull him in for a deeper kiss.  Our tongues find each other as I moan into his mouth. 

I feel the heat rising
, burning its way deep into my core.  It feels like it’s been years instead of mere days since we last kissed, and again like every time, my limbs go limp at his touch.  He places his fingers through my hair and grips my head.  He pulls me deeper into his kiss, as if getting this deep is not enough.  My hand reacts and yanks at his hair making him growl.  That noise sends my heart rate soaring.  I want him in me now.  I can’t stand it any longer.  He pulls me away, pain evident on his face.