The Guide to Getting It On (49 page)

“I like running my tongue around the head and sliding it in and out of my mouth. I like to take his penis in my mouth as far as possible and rub my tongue on the underside of it, pushing the head into the roof of my mouth. It seems to drive him crazy.”
female age 37

“More than anything it feels so good because I am in control.”
female age 43

“When it comes to blowjobs, let the lucky son of a bitch treat you like a queen, honey, because you are.”
female age 48

“I never was very good at blowjobs until I had a lover who had a small penis. Then I felt comfortable with him in my mouth.”
female age 43

“I like to give head, so I don’t need much persuasion. I get really wet from giving someone that kind of pleasure, and I always feel so powerful when I do it.”
female age 23

“It feels very sensual if he lets me take it at my own pace. I think the penis has the most wonderful velvety skin.”
female age 38

“I only like it if I can keep the hair out of my mouth. I enjoy it only because I know he enjoys it so much.”
female age 35

“I like it. I especially like the little leaks before he comes. I think cum has an interesting taste, sort of fizzy.”
female age 38

“I have discovered that we both find it erotic to have him come on my face or on my breasts when I give him head. I don’t care for the taste of his semen.”
female age 22

“I really don’t like it when he comes in my mouth. I kind of gag on it.”
female age 26

“It’s fun to suck on a limp penis until it hardens.”
female age 37

“One thing that’s really neat about sucking on a guy’s cock is watching it change shape and color and get harder. You’re right up there in the front row. You don’t get that with intercourse.”
female age 42

“I’ve observed that not all guys come as much; some have very little, and others lots and lots.”
female age 27

“Never forget to caress and tickle the balls.”
female age 44

“My mouth and hand work as a team. As I pull away with my mouth, I twist my hand almost like a corkscrew.”
female age 26

“I love to give head, but I hate to feel pressured into doing it. Also, remember what goes around comes around. If I’m the only one going down, I’ll be less likely to do so again.”
female age 26

“Please don’t do it like they do in the porno flicks, where the girl just about bobs her head off. Not a turn-on.”
male age 46

“Don’t be fooled by the name. Blowing has nothing to do with it.”
male age 26

CHAPTER

22

Condoms — For The Ride of Your Life

L
et’s face it, besides the seriously hot illustration on the preceding page, there’s not much that’s sexy about condoms except for the sex that follows after you put one on. Condoms are next to athletic cups and bicycle helmets on the scale of necessary evils. If it weren’t for unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections, you wouldn’t see a word about condoms in this book.

So from the start,
The Guide
is being more honest with you about condoms than most books are. So you can trust that what’s written on the following pages about condoms is honest and helpful.

Making Condom Use Sexy — It Can Be Done!

“It would really help if I could finger her while she put the condom on me.”
male age 24

Few lovers talk about ways to help each other stay aroused when putting on a condom. Here are some possibilities:

Anticipation:
Slip a condom into your partner’s pocket followed by a welcome kiss, fingertips rubbing over the front of his or her pants, and a few words about what you are looking forward to once the condom is on.

Masturbating:
Some women find it arousing to watch a guy put on a condom and stroke himself. Or if a man finds it arousing to watch his partner masturbate, he can watch her warming herself up while he’s putting the condom on.

While Giving or Receiving Oral Sex:
If giving a woman oral sex makes her partner hard, the couple can arrange their bodies so she can put the condom on him while his face is between her legs. Or he can put the condom on while she kisses his testicles, but she should avoid getting saliva on the base of the penis where the condom needs to grip. NOTE: Putting a on condom with your mouth or lips is a bad idea, as it’s easy to leave tiny nicks in the condom with your teeth.

Talking Dirty:
If the couple finds sexually explicit talk to be arousing, she can be telling him what she wants him to do with his penis as she’s putting the condom on it.

Grinding:
She can rub her vulva against his thigh as he is putting the condom on his penis.

Hand Action:
She caresses his penis and testicles, then opens the condom package but puts it down and strokes and caresses some more, then puts the condom on his penis. Keep in mind that precum can have sperm in it, and can transport sexually transmitted infections, so deal with it accordingly.

When a Woman Puts It On

A lot of women would like to try putting the condom on, but feel awkward asking. If you both work on it and she becomes a total ace at rolling it on, condom wearing can become a turn-on instead of an interruption.
Also, when a woman puts a condom on, it’s an important signal that the sex is consensual and mutual.

Getting It Wrong from the Start

When a question about the foreskin and condoms was posted on a listserve for sex educators, the mass reply was, “Get extra-large condoms” as if any guy who is uncut and has a foreskin should be wearing condoms that are extra-large. Can you imagine if a woman posted a question about her bra causing her discomfort and the fashion experts replied, “Buy the biggest bra you possibly can!” Instead, they would ask for more information about her specific problem. Unfortunately, when it comes to condoms, even sex educators can still be in the dark ages.

Penises come in different sizes and shapes. Fortunately, condom companies make condoms that come in different sizes and shapes, from slim to condoms that are extra-baggy around the head. The condoms that have the extra headroom fit snugly around the base of the penis, but the top bags out. This lets the head of the penis slosh around inside the condom, which can feel really nice.

Part of your job as a couple is to explore and find condoms that work best for the two of you. Visit our website at
www.Guide2Getting.com
for links to many different online condom sampler packs. Once you find a couple of favorite brands, it’s a really good idea to stock up on them.

If You Are a Woman Who Doesn’t Like the Feel of Condoms

We’ve been surprised at how many of the women who take our sex survey say they don’t like the feel of condoms. So if you notice it feels different when a partner is wearing a condom, you are not alone. This is why it’s important for women to weigh in on the matter of which condoms to buy.

Also be aware that condoms are not the most effective method of birth control. If the sole reason you are using them is for contraception, you might consider more effective methods like the IUD. But if there’s any possibility whatsoever that you might get HIV, use condoms no matter what, in addition to a more effective method of birth control.

Need Extra Large Condoms? Some Do, Most Don’t

At least 10% to 20% of men need bigger sized condoms. So if you need a bigger size condom than the rest of us, there are several choices on the market. The following account from a reader explains what can happen when a guy who needs a bigger condom isn’t using one:

“The one traumatic thing about sex with my first partner in high school was using a condom. I’m on the larger side. The first time I tried to use a condom, it was so tight I could barely get it on and it felt like a tourniquet at the base of my penis. It was awful and I couldn’t keep an erection with one on. Unfortunately, I’d read that the whole “the condom’s too small” excuse is not valid because someone once squeezed 17 oranges into a condom so it’s silly that a guy can’t fit into one. So of course I was convinced that something was wrong with me. I kept trying, and once broke two condoms while trying to get them on! I didn’t even know that they made large condoms at the time—all I knew was that if I tried to use any condom, sex would end in disaster. All they needed to say was, ‘Larger condoms are available for those who need them’ and my adolescence would have been a lot less stressful.”
male age 26