The Guide to Getting It On (52 page)

The First Thrust

As we were reading the questionnaires of our women readers, an amazing pattern emerged. A large number of women said that the part of intercourse they liked best was the first stroke. For a lot women, it seems like the first stroke is a near religious happening, assuming they were primed and eager for the thrusting to begin.

Do not hesitate to ask your sweetheart how she likes you to do your first stroke. Does she like you to start by teasing her with a series of short little thrusts, going in only an inch or two? Or does she like one big straightforward glide for the gold?

Legs Bent or Straight, Open or Closed

The biggest variable in the physics of intercourse is often the position of the woman’s legs—whether they are straight or bent, open or closed, over your shoulders or in your face. When the woman’s legs are straight, penetration is not as deep, but the tip of the clitoris might receive more stimulation. When a woman bends her legs and brings her knees closer to her chest, the penetration is deeper. This can be nice if she likes more pressure in the back part of her vagina.

If the woman’s legs are together, the penis is hugged more snugly. This might offer better clitoral stimulation, because the extra snugness may push the inner labia more tightly against the shaft of the penis as it goes in and out. If the woman’s legs are open, there is greater skin-to-skin contact between her vulva and the man’s genitals. This can also result in more bouncing-testicle action if the man is on top.

Some couples enjoy intercourse with one leg straight and the other flexed. And some women like to reach between their legs and push on the tip of their clitoris with their fingers. Depending on the mutual anatomies, you might be able to push the clitoris against the penis. If this isn’t confusing enough, some women keep their legs straight and together while flexing their thighs to help achieve an orgasm.

Legs Bent or Straight, Anatomical Consideration

A woman’s decision to keep her legs straight or bent might vary with the length and thickness of the man’s penis. A woman whose partner has a really long penis may find that she gets poked in the cervix if she opens and bends her legs during intercourse, while a woman whose man has a short penis might prefer the feeling of deeper penetration that bent knees allow.

Porn star Nina Hartley has a shallow vagina and can’t take guys who are really long. Mind you, “shallow” and “long” are defined differently in the world of pornography than in the average bedroom. Women can add another inch or two of thrusting room by using positions that allow the penis to move into the space behind the cervix that is called the fornix.

Apologies:
Sex books these days don’t use the term “short penis.” Instead, they say a penis that isn’t overly long. This is meant to protect the allegedly fragile male ego, yet we hate to think that today’s male is so fragile that he can’t say “I’ve got a short one” without experiencing a crisis of character. As for the sentiment expressed by the 20 Fingers song
Don’t Want No Short Dick Man
, making peace with body parts is discussed in Chapter 87:
Techno Breasts & Weenie Angst.
For now, keep in mind that when a woman is highly aroused, her genitals usually puff, which can make for a tighter fit.

A Fix for When a Woman Feels Pain Due to Deep Penetration

There can be times during intercourse when a penis collides with the cervix leaving a woman feeling the same kind of excruciating pain as when an elbow hits a guy’s scrotum during a game of basketball. Any woman who is experiencing sexual pain should consult with a gynecologist. But if it’s determined that the pain is from a penis hitting her cervix, there are some things you might consider.

It’s not necessarily the biggest, baddest or longest penis that will cause the problem. Sometimes it’s an average sized penis. And while adding lube might help, it might make things worse. Waiting until a woman is more highly aroused before starting intercourse may help, because an aroused cervix raises up and could hopefully be out of the line of fire.

Some couples find it helps to try positions that discourage deep penetration, like rear entry when a woman is laying on her stomach or side with her body straight. Or, she might do better on top.

You can also jerry rig a donut or gasket to go around the base of the penis to decrease the depth of thrusting. One type of sleeve that a number of couples recommend is called a “universal silicone sleeve for a penis pump.” While using this sleeve during intercourse was not its intended purpose, it supposedly works well. Or, you might consider getting a masturbation sleeve called “Maven” by Vibratex. Cut an inch or more off the end of it to make a donut-shaped ring that you can slide onto the base of the penis before intercourse. This will prevent the penis from thrusting too deep, and the extra pressure of the Maven material on the woman’s clitoris can provide welcome dividends. The people at
www.a-womans-touch.com
recommend the Maven over other sleeves because the material can be cut without falling apart, and it is not so snug that it will act like a cock ring. Many of their female customers have this type of pain and this is the one solution they rave about.

Thrusting — Shallow vs. Deep

The walls of a woman’s vagina change shape with each thrust of intercourse. This means that with each stroke, thousands of nerve endings are being pulled and tugged, which, neurologically speaking, can feel quite nice. (This doesn’t feel half-bad for guys, either.) The most sensitive part of the vagina is usually at the opening, up to an inch or two deep. This can also become the snuggest part of the vagina when it is aroused.

Shallow thrusting encourages the snuggest part of the vagina to wrap around the most sensitive part of his penis, which is just below the head. Shallow thrusting also allows the ridge around the head of the penis to stimulate this sensitive part of the vagina. An exception might be if the man’s penis has a compact head and is thicker around the middle of the shaft. In that case the woman may prefer the thick part to be in the vaginal opening.

Deeper thrusting offers its own advantages: 1. Unless the man’s penis is really long or the woman’s vagina is shallow, deep thrusting can help to position his pubic bone in direct contact with more of her clitoral area. Rubbing against a man’s pubic bone helps some women have orgasms during intercourse. 2. Deeper thrusting may allow the penis to pull on the labia minora (inner lips) for a longer period of time, providing more stimulation to the clitoral area. 3. The deeper part of the vagina is often sensitive to pressure. As some women approach orgasm, they find it pleasurable if there is a penis or penis-like object in the back part of the vagina that it can contract around.

The Tantric Police Talk Thrust

Some Tantric and Oriental sex masters caution against constant deep thrusting during intercourse. They believe that the vagina does best with a ratio of five to nine shallow thrusts to every deep thrust. This is an interesting observation, given how they don’t allow women to be monks or masters and they don’t allow them to enter business meetings unless it’s to bring tea. But they have no shortage of suggestions for pleasing them sexually. If you are following the nine-shallow-for-every-one-deep thrust dictum, increase the ratio to two deep for every four shallow as she becomes more aroused, or live dangerously and go for one shallow to one deep.

Mixing up the trusting between shallow and deep is definitely something to experiment with. But if your partner starts threatening you with serious grief if you don’t knock off the shallow stuff, you can safely assume she wasn’t an Asian princess in a past life.

Battering Ram or Pleasure Wand? Mosh Pit or Symphony?

Some men use a penis as a battering ram, believing that women always enjoy being slammed during intercourse. Other men, perhaps a bit more sensitive or experienced, realize that there are different thrusting rhythms that can help make intercourse feel more symphonic than metallic. Maybe she will like it slow at the start but strong at the end.