Thoughtless (26 page)

“You are so…moody. I can’t keep up with you.” My glare softened as I wondered if I had just incited his anger.

He only grinned crookedly at me though. “I’m an artist…not moody.”

“Well, then you’re a moody artist… ” I finished my thought by muttering under my breath, “You’re practically a girl.” Apparently he heard me, for he abruptly turned me to face him, backed me against the counter and pressed himself into me. I gasped as one of his hands clutched my poor bruised thigh and hitched it around his hip. His other hand ran up my back and pulled me flush against him.

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He breathed huskily in my ear again, “I assure you…I am not.” His lips trailed down to my neck as I shivered again. Damn…no, definitely not a girl.

“Please…stop…” I managed to whisper, as I attempted another feeble try at pushing him away.

He kissed me one last time, deeply on my neck, and I worried for a second that he would leave a mark, but then he pulled away and sighed.

“All right…but only because you begged.” His voice was so smooth it was practically a purr. “I love it when you do that,” he whispered, then left the room chuckling, while I blushed deeply.

I was luxuriating in the shower after that little encounter, trying to organize my thoughts and my emotions. The feel of Kellan pressed against me wouldn’t leave my head…or my body for that matter. Kissing Denny goodbye for work a few minutes ago had done horrible things to my heart. My guilt wasn’t leaving me and Kellan definitely wasn’t helping with that. I sighed and tilted my head back in the water. He was so odd.

The first time we had sex he turned stone cold and now he was red hot.

God, what
would
happen if we did it…? No, I’m not even going to think about that. Whatever was going on between us,
tha
t part of it was most definitely over! I would not betray Denny…again.

I was feeling a little better about the situation, when the largest spider known to mankind dropped right in front of my face. Now, I’d like to think that I am pretty practical about the rodent, insect and arachnid world. I completely understand that they serve a purpose and that there is a place for them in the circle of life. But one dropping right in my face with, I swear to God, three-inch long legs, brought out the girliest reaction possible - I screamed. And not just any scream, no, I screamed bloody murder. I hopped out of the shower and immediately began doing the icky dance. You know, the ‘oh my god, I know there are about six more of those things on my body’ dance. It was at that moment that Kellan burst through the bathroom door (how in the name of all that is holy did I not lock it?). I froze when I saw him. He froze when he saw me…buck-naked.

I blushed red
everywhere
as I grabbed the closest towel I could find.

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“Are you okay?” He looked around the room like there should be an axe murderer and about a gallon of blood, what with all the screaming I had done.

“Spider,” I said, mortified. Can I please re-do this day?

His eyes came back to me and he barely held in a laugh. He had to bite his lip and the smile that broke around it was disastrously sexy. “A spider?” he managed to say, almost evenly. “You’re not…dying?” I blushed again and frowned as his eyes lost their smirk and trailed down my barely covered, dripping wet body. “I think I should inspect you more thoroughly, just to make sure none are…on you.” He took a couple steps towards me and the small bathroom suddenly felt claustrophobic.

I felt overheated and a bit faint. I beat him on the shoulder and pushed him towards the door. “No…get out!”

“All right.” He tilted his head to the side as he turned to leave. “I’ll be in my room, if you change your mind.” A wicked grin and then, “Or, if there are any more spiders.”

As he left, I slammed the door shut and securely locked it. Okay, make that red, red hot. I needed to do something about this…but I had no idea what.

*******************

He was very sneaky about flirting with me, always finding moments that Denny was out of the room or had his back to us. The first time he had kissed my neck with Denny
in
the room, I had gasped in surprise over the unexpected move. He had laughed once and quickly moved away as Denny looked over at me quizzically. I muttered something stupid about seeing a spider and glared over at Kellan, who laughed and raised his eyebrows suggestively at the mention of another spider. My neck burned pleasantly where he had kissed it.

More and more I enjoyed the solitude of school; it was my only Denny and Kellan-free zone. For a few hours, I could think about something
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other than the mass of confusion that was my home life. Of course, a few days later, during a psychology lecture on Sigmund Fried’s views about sexual repression, the thoughts had come anyway.

I didn’t know what to do? On the one hand, I had a beautiful, loving boyfriend that I adored, that I had moved across the Country for, but, his abandoning me for a job had scarred me some. I didn’t like to think about it. It hadn’t really been his fault that I had reacted so poorly, and he
had
changed his mind and come back to me almost instantly, and at great personal expense…just not quick enough. During his brief absence Kellan had slipped in, and now he was kind of stuck there.

I sighed. I really didn’t know how to feel about that. Well, besides tremendously guilty anyway. I had been warned so often about Kellan. I knew what he was like and I fell for it anyway…twice. I hated how weak I felt around him, how much power he had, when I had none. It was so irritating.

Of course, he had become bolder in the last few days. His touches had become much more intimate. His fingers always managed to find the scant, half inch of skin which showed between my shirt and jeans when he passed me in the hall. He stroked my cheek as I opened the fridge door. His lips brushed my bare shoulder while I cooked dinner. He nibbled at my ear when Denny went outside to check the mail. He came up behind me at work and rested his hand on my backside when no one was looking.

Ugh, he was driving me crazy and I hated every second of it. Didn’t I?

I looked up. The lecture that had caused my mind to drift was over, and I really hadn’t heard a word of it. I hadn’t even noticed that students had started to file out and now it was half empty. Stupid Kellan and his amazingly wonderful, stupid fingers.

Now I was going to have to go see that stupid man at the stupid bar, since my shift was starting in a couple hours. Of course he would be there, drinking with his band mates. They had rehearsal nearly every day and almost always came into the bar either before or afterwards.

And of course Kellan would not miss an opportunity to torment me while Denny was absent. He was always careful to not let anyone else
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witness his seduction, but I got the feeling it was easier for him, when he didn’t have to look Denny in the eye.

I walked into the light rain and headed for the bus stop. I was not looking forward to having to wait for the bus in this. It wasn’t heavily raining but eventually, I would get soaked. The people here didn’t seem to mind getting wet. No one even bothered with an umbrella unless the rain was sheeting. Personally, I’d rather be dry, but it hadn’t been raining when I left and I really didn’t like walking around with an umbrella, looking like an idiot, waiting for it to rain.

I decided to take the bus straight to the bar. I’d rather be early than sit around our house alone with Kellan. With Denny still at work, who knows what he would try to do with me. Not that I would let him. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t let him… Anyway, I could work on my Lit paper in the backroom.

As I was walking, I heard someone directly behind me gasp, “Oh my god, check out that guy…he’s gorgeous.” Instinctively turning to look, my breath caught. Kellan was here? Why was Kellan here? Standing outside his car, he was already partially wet, and like the rest of the locals, he didn’t seem to care. He smiled his sexy half-smile when I noticed him.

I rolled my eyes and didn’t even bother looking at who had made the statement. I was pretty sure it was just some random girl, drooling over his…perfection.

I really didn’t want to get wet waiting for the bus, so I grudgingly walked over to Kellan. The rain was dampening his tousled hair and droplets were dripping onto his face. He wore his black leather jacket and leaned back against his car with his arms folded across his chest.

Whoever the drooler was, she was right, he was gorgeous.

“I thought you might want a ride.” He practically purred the words.

“Sure, thanks. I’m going to Pete’s.” I hoped I was coming off as nonchalant as I wanted to be. My heart was already racing at the idea of being in an enclosed space alone with him, but being dry was too tempting.

He smiled, like he somehow knew my answer already. He slipped behind the wheel after first opening my door, dramatically swooshing his
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arm. I was tense as we pulled away from the school, waiting for him to do…something. I had no idea what he would do with a situation like this, and my mind was jumbled with different possibilities. Would he pin me down on the seat and try to… I looked behind me at the back seat. It suddenly looked shockingly big and quite comfortable. I instantly realized that Kellan’s car was his “bed away from bed” as it were. The thought made my face flush and my breath hitch.

He looked over at me and laughed a little. “You okay?”

“Yep,” I lied, completely unconvincingly.

“Good.” We stopped at a red light and he looked over at me with sparkling, playful eyes while he ran a hand through his delightfully damp hair.

I realized I had started breathing a little heavy watching him. Oh for Pete’s sake, I thought angrily. He hasn’t even touched me yet. The anticipation was starting to get to me. I wished he would just get it over with. Wait a minute…no. Familiar irritation flared. I didn’t want him to touch me…right?

We started moving again, but I was staring out the window, lost in my confusion, and barely noticed. I loved Denny, why would I ache for Kellan to touch me? That made no sense. But I couldn’t ponder it any longer. Kellan had decided at long last to touch me. He simply put his hand on my knee and slightly slid it up my inner thigh. It was enough. I closed my eyes, his touch burning through my body. I kept my eyes closed the entire way there.

We arrived at the bar all too quickly and yet…not quickly enough.

Kellan parked the car without moving his hand from my thigh. I could feel him watching me, but I still kept my eyes closed. He slid over the seat to press against me. The heat of him, the smell of the rain on him, made my breath quicken. He shifted his hand all the way up my thigh. I gasped, my mouth dropping open slightly in a heavy breath. I suddenly wanted much more…and I hated it. He ran his cheek along my jaw and I suffered to keep my head straight, to not turn into him. He kissed the corner of my jaw then lightly trailed his tongue up to my ear while I
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started to tremble. He nibbled on my ear for a second before finally breathing, “Ready?”

Slight panic made my eyes flash open. I glanced over at him with my eyes only, my breath embarrassingly fast now. He was smiling so seductively at me, that I couldn’t help but turn my face to his. Inches apart now, I felt his hand run up my thigh and across my hip. Then I heard a faint click and my seat belt gave way.

He pulled away from me and started laughing lightly. Instantly irritated, I shoved open the door and slammed it behind me. When I looked back at his sleek with rain car, I could see him through the window, watching me storm off to the bar in open delight. I actually thanked the rain now, as it cooled my heated skin on the way to the double doors.

Damn, he was good.

The next morning, I corned Kellan in the kitchen as he was pouring his coffee.

“Morn-”

I immediately cut off his adorable greeting, still irritated about the car ride yesterday. “You… ” I put a finger on his chest, which made him smile charmingly as he put the coffee pot back, “…need to back off!” He grabbed my hand and pulled me into an embrace. “I haven’t done anything to you…recently,” he said innocently.

I tried to push away from his embrace but he held me tight.

“Uhhh…this?” I tried to indicate his arms around me, but couldn’t move very well.

He laughed and kissed my jaw. “We do this all the time. Sometimes we do more…”

Irritated, I pulled back and spat out in a horribly flustered tone, “The car?”

He laughed harder. “That was all you. You were getting all…excited on me, just sitting there.” He squatted slightly to look me in the eye.

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“Was I supposed to just ignore that?” I blushed furiously; he was right about that. I sighed noisily and looked away from him.

He laughed softly at my reaction. “Hmmm…do you want me to stop?” While he spoke he ran his fingers lightly from my hair to my cheek, down my neck, between my breasts, and down my waist to rest at my jeans. He grabbed the edge and pulled my hips towards him a little.

Instantly and annoyingly, my body reacted - my breathing increased, my heartbeat spiked and I closed my eyes, willing myself to not turn towards his lips. “Yes,” I said breathlessly, wondering if I was answering his question correctly.

“You don’t seem so sure…do I make you uncomfortable?” His voice was husky and enticing, and I kept my eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to see his expression. His fingers were now lightly tracing my waistband, one finger on the inside, barely brushing against my skin.

“Yes.” My head was spinning…what did he ask me?

He leaned over to whisper in my ear, “Do you want me inside you again?”

“Yes…” I blurted out my answer before the question had even registered in my head. His fingers stopped moving. My eyes snapped open at my mistake and locked on to his surprised face. “No! I meant no!” He half-smiled and looked like he was going to break out laughing at any second as he tried to keep his face composed.

Anger burned through me. Great, now I’ve led him on even more and managed to make myself look like an idiot, all at the same time. “I meant no, Kellan.”