Dear Playboy Advisor: Questions From Men and Women to the Advice Column of Playboy Magazine (57 page)

You mentioned that HPV-16 has been linked to penile cancer. Can you actually get cancer in your penis?—H.M., Tampa, Florida

Unfortunately, yes. Because most tumors appear on the head or foreskin, one hypothesis is they are caused by secretions that become trapped when an uncircumcised penis is not washed regularly. Researchers are investigating the role of HPV-16 and HPV-18, which have been found in a third of all penile cancer cases. In Western countries, where circumcision is common, only about 1,000 men are diagnosed annually. But in Asia, Africa and South America, penile cancer represents 20 to 30 percent of all cancers among men. It can strike at any age but typically affects men who are 60 or older. Left untreated, it can be deadly. In one study of 1,605 men diagnosed with penile cancer, 22 percent died. What to watch for: a lesion or growth that won’t heal.

STEREOS

The sound of music.

Good vibrations

I’m a car-audio installer. An instructor at a training conference told me that clitoral resonance is 33 hertz, give or take, depending on the woman’s weight. This means that anything vibrating 33 times per second will cause the clitoris to resonate. Howard Stern made an example of this in
Private Parts
when he got a woman off by having her sit on a speaker, and just about any woman will respond to a bass note at that frequency if your subwoofer can play that low. Is there any truth to this?—J.B., Yuma, Arizona

Don’t touch that dial. The idea that 33 Hz is the optimal resonance to get a woman off originated with an experiment performed in 1992 by car-audio consultant Todd Ramsey. While on spring break in Daytona Beach, Ramsey and his buddies spent three days asking women to sit in the front seat of a Honda Accord. The crew then swept the frequencies from high to low on an 18-inch subwoofer, powered by a 1,000-watt amp, in the trunk. The women gave the thumbs-up when the vibrations felt best. Once Ramsey had crunched the numbers for about 100 volunteers, including making adjustments for their self-reported weights, he calculated that the optimal resonance for a woman of 115 to 125 pounds is 33 Hz. Not so coincidentally, he says, that’s about the same resonance as an idling Harley or a spinning washing machine. In 2001 Ramsey wrote about the CR (clitoral resonance) factor in
Auto Sound & Security
. “I’m still waiting for a call from one of the big automakers,” he says today. One CR disciple is Richie Warren, founder of Fuel records, which produces bass heavy music for car-audio systems. To promote Fuel at auto shows, Warren straps three models across the top of a Dodge Challenger and booms a 33 Hz tone “until they’re coming all over the car.” Visit the label’s site at liquid injuredhearing.com, where you will find a resonator that produces tones from 30 to 110 Hz. Ask your partner to sit on your quality subwoofer, hook up your computer to your sound system and sweep through the tones to find her number (the heavier the woman, the lower the frequency). The only downside is that she may leave with your stereo.

Thirty-three hertz also happens to be near the frequency you hear from the lowest pedal pipe on most organs. Consider that the next time you’re singing hymns in church.—M.L., Brookline, New Hampshire

This could explain the fervor of many fundamentalists. A U.K. study found that many churches have organs producing not only a 32 hertz bass but also vibrations that measure below 20 hertz, which is inaudible to humans but can produce sorrow, coldness, anxiety and shivers. One researcher suggests these reactions may “lead people to have weird experiences that they attribute to God.”

Speaker wire length

I’ve heard that speaker cables should be exactly the same length for the best sound, on the theory that you want the signal to reach each at the same time. That is, if your left speaker is connected with 10 feet of wire, the right speaker also should be connected with exactly 10 feet of wire. True?—G.F., Miami, Florida

Sure, if you have only 20 feet of wire. The signal travels at 688,498,300 feet per second, more or less. A few feet certainly won’t make a difference.

Why can’t I play European DVDs?

Why is it that you can buy a music CD in Europe and play it in the U.S., but you can’t do the same with DVDs? It’s too bad, because there are many movies released in other countries that you can’t get here.—S.A., Burbank, California

Major studios have divided the world into eight markets, and they work hard to keep each one isolated to maximize profits. They do this by adding a code to each DVD that prevents it from being played anywhere but on a machine coded for the same region. (The exception is porn, which rarely has codes.) Because films are usually released in the U.S. months before their debuts overseas, the system prevents foreign consumers from buying mail-order DVDs prior to a movie’s showing at their local theaters. It also prevents consumers in the U.S. from buying foreign films on DVD before their Stateside debuts. Movie buffs get around the codes by buying universal players from online retailers such as HKFlix.com. In response, a few studios experimented with a code that prevents discs from being played on zone-free machines but gave it up after about 20 titles.

Do I need a subwoofer?

I’m buying a stereo system. Do I need a subwoofer?—P.L., San Antonio, Texas

You can probably live without one unless you watch a lot of action movies. If you mostly listen to music, and your speakers can reproduce frequencies down to 40 Hz, you won’t notice much improvement. Humans can hear as low as 20 Hz, but there’s not a lot going on of musical interest between 20 and 40 cycles, which is the octave processed by most subwoofers. The lowest note on a rock album is typically the low E produced by an electric bass, which hits about 41 Hz. In classical music, booming orchestral drums occasionally reach the low 30s. Outside of home theater use, a subwoofer is necessary only if your speakers are not flat to 40 Hz or if your listening room is an acoustical disaster. Expect to pay at least $400, and resist buying used equipment. Subwoofers are often abused, and their quality has improved dramatically over the past decade, perhaps more than any other component. Today’s models are much less boomy and sluggish and provide more flexible controls.

Speakers don’t sound as good as in store

I bought a pair of speakers that sounded great in the store, but when I got them home, they didn’t sound as rich. This may have to do with the layout of my room and its acoustics, but my old speakers sounded fine. Can you explain it?—B.B., New York, New York

When you buy speakers, they’re displayed on “speaker walls” or in rooms full of equipment. When you test them, the other speakers vibrate as well, making your pair sound richer. Before you buy, ask to hear the merchandise in a private listening room. More important, insist on a liberal return policy.

Binaural sound

A friend who is a stereo buff lent me a CD and told me to listen to it through headphones. It sounded incredible. He said it was binaural. I’ve looked in record stores and haven’t been able to find another disc like it. Do you have any information?—W.L., Phoenix, Arizona

Most recordings are made for playback through loudspeakers. Binaural CDs are designed to be played through headphones. They are created using a life-size model of a human head equipped with microphones where the ears would be. The recording head is placed in the audience or onstage during performances (or, in the case of nature recordings, carried into the wild) to capture sound as a listener would hear it. The rich 3D effect can be stunning. John Sunier of the Binaural Source (binaural.com) suggests starting your collection with an audio drama (Stephen King’s
The Mist
), nature recording (Gordon Hempton’s
Earth Sounds Sampler
), jazz (Jürgen Sturm’s
Tango Subversivo
) or classical music (either of two discs available on the Auracle label). For an arousing binaural experience, check out Cyborgasm, a collection of erotic fantasies on CD (available from good vibes.com or 800-289-8423). You’ll swear the dominatrix is in the room, especially when she walks all the way around your chair.

Beginner jazz

I have always listened to rock and some classical. Can you suggest some jazz and blues albums to add to my collection?—R.F., Minneapolis, Minnesota

Since this sort of exercise always sparks debate, we’ll let our music critics stand near the fire. Neil Tesser, author of the
Playboy Guide to Jazz
, suggests Miles Davis’
Kind of Blue
as a starting point, Keith Jarrett’s
Köln Concert
for its classical influence, Charlie Parker’s
Bird’s Best Bop
on Verve and Pat Metheny’s
Still Life (Talking)
for a contemporary sound. Among vocalists, you’re safe with anything by Sarah Vaughan, Ella Fitzgerald or Billie Holiday. Dave Marsh, who reviews the blues, recommends the Smithsonian’s
Mean Old World: The Blues From 1940 to 1994
, which begins with Ma Rainey and ends with Corey Harris, and MCA’s
Blues Classics
, which covers 1927 (Furry Lewis) to 1969 (B.B. King). He also suggests
The Best of Muddy Waters
, B.B. King’s
Live at the Regal
and Stevie Ray Vaughan’s
In Step
.

Upgrading classical

My classical CDs are by great orchestras with great conductors. But even a Karajan or a Bernstein cannot blind me to the fact that recording technology 20 years ago wasn’t as good as it is now. I’d like to update my collection. The names on the cover are less important than the quality of the music. Any recommendations?—Y.K., Fort Lauderdale, Florida

The first step is to look for remastered versions of the CDs you already own. While the fidelity won’t be as good as that of contemporary recordings, some performances by Karajan, George Szell and Hans Knappertsbusch are still better than anything recorded today. Gramophone (www.gramophone.co.uk) has reviews. Among current conductors, we like Simon Rattle with the Berlin Philharmonic and Nikolaus Harnoncourt with the Concentus Musicus Wien.

Cable descramblers

How can companies advertise descramblers that allow you to receive pay-per-view and premium cable channels without paying? Aren’t descramblers illegal?—P.S., Boston, Massachusetts

In many states it’s not illegal to sell or own a descrambler. In every state, however, it is illegal to use one without notifying your cable provider. That’s the rub, and that’s what you learn when you read the fine print. One mass e-mail claims you can build your own device with parts purchased at Radio Shack. A reporter for Playboy Online investigated and discovered what you’d expect: Radio Shack no longer stocks a critical part—the variable capacitor—because so many people were asking for it to build descramblers to cheat the cable company. Even if you could construct a descrambler, you’d probably be disappointed. One size doesn’t fit all. Companies that sell these devices walk a thin line: A federal judge sentenced an entrepreneur who sold more than 84,000 descramblers by mail order to five years in prison. People who steal premium or pay-per-view service typically are caught and fined when a judge compels a distributor to turn over its customer list, or when a neighbor or ex-friend reports them.

Power strips

I’d like to upgrade the power strips I use with my hi-fi equipment. Can you offer guidance?—N.N., Dallas, Texas

Most people will find that a $30 to $50 strip with surge protection is sufficient. Look for the Underwriters Laboratories mark on both the box and the product, as well as the words “transient voltage.” Keep in mind that many strips have only a single metaloxide varistor, which is what provides the protection, and it’s a kamikaze—if there’s a surge or a spike, it sacrifices itself. Once that happens, the strip may continue to work but not protect against energy bursts. Some strips have MOV indicator lights, but even those can’t always be trusted. The point is, don’t assume that a strip with surge protection will last forever. If you’re daring, try the Wiremold L10320, which is popular among audiophiles who feel that the switches, fuses, circuit breakers and noise filters found on most strips diminish system performance. Naim, which makes high-end equipment, recommends connecting all your components to the same strip, with the amp plugged into the outlet closest to the cord, followed by the sources. The theory is that different grounds in a house can vary a bit; on high-end audio, that may cause noise. Naim also suggests having your power and source cords flow separately and “as gracefully as possible,” because “electricity does not travel efficiently around sharp corners and bends.” If you just paid $5,100 for a Naim CD player, that advice is comforting.