Finding Home (24 page)

She starts laughing, and I join in with her. “Yeah, well, I love you, but I don’t
love
you. I prefer your girly parts covered.”

“I’ll make a note of that. So please tell me why I have the pleasure of your company so early this morning?”

“Don’t play coy with me. You know why! Spill it!”

She snuggles in with me, and I recap our redo date. I leave out the parts about the accident that Ben has kept private. It’s not my story to tell, and if he wants anyone else to know, he’ll tell him or her. Jenny’s my best friend, and it’s hard not sharing it with her. Then you add in the complexity of her being his sister, and it just adds a whole other layer there.

Jenny wraps me in a hug while speaking. “Wow, I can see why he’d be upset about the seatbelt thing. I’m glad it didn’t ruin your date, though. The old Ben’s emerging. Thank you. You’re bringing him back to life.”

“Oh J-girl. I don’t know about that. I think we’re both bringing each other back to life. I know he’s your brother, but he’s amazing. I never thought I would allow someone else in, but with him, I want to. I only hope we can heal our hearts and be what we need for each other.”

She places her hand over her heart and pats it. “You will, I can feel it. It’s like one of your movies you love so much or in some of the books I read. I see a happily ever after ending for you two.”

“That would be nice. I need a good happy ending. My endings all seem to finish with tears, profanity, and throwing shit away.”

“I know girl, but Ben’s better than all of those other guys combined. You’ll see.”

“I’m glad you’re so confident. We’re having dinner tonight so that I can fill him in on the past dickheads in my life. Then hopefully a good old fashioned make out session to end the evening.”

“TMI Sam! I do not want to think about that. Besides, all this boy stuff is making me a little depressed.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You’ll find someone soon. I keep telling you that you set the bar a little too high. You compare every guy you meet to one of your book boyfriends.” Jenny pulls the pillow out from under my head and smacks me with it. “Hey, that wasn’t called for.”

“Oh, come on! Like you don’t imagine Ben as some movie character who’s hot in your head!”

“Well, when you put it that way.” We both start hitting each other with pillows when we hear another knock on my door. “Come in!”

Mrs. Foster walks in and makes a strange face. “You two are acting like a couple of middle school girls having a sleep over.”

“Sam’s telling me all about Ben and wanting to make out with him.” I smack her with the pillow, knocking her back.

“And I’m telling Jenny that if she would take five minutes and put her e-reader down she might actually meet a real life guy.”

“Bitch!”

“Bitch!”

“I love you, Sammy!”

“I love you, Jenny!”

“Ah. Okay. Well, I wanted to tell you that breakfast’s ready. Oh, and keep tomorrow open for dress shopping. Come down when you’re ready.” Mrs. Foster heads back to the door, pauses, and turns back to us. “Now listen, I know I’m older and have been married for almost thirty years, but I do have some advice.” We both pop up and sit on the edge of the bed. “Love is a beautiful thing. It fills you up unlike anything you’ve ever known or experienced. It can be effortless and challenging all at the same time. But what it really comes down to, I believe, is letting someone else in. Letting them see all of you. Not just the tiny superficial things, but what’s buried underneath. When you can do that and accept each other’s everything, then nothing can stop you.” She bends down and takes one hand in each of hers. “Sam, you make Ben smile again.” She switches her gaze to Jenny. “Jenny, get your head out of your books and let someone in.” Standing up, she heads for the door, turning around to look at us before exiting out the door. “Fall in love, girls, I mean really fall in love. Let them see everything.”

Her words are simple and make complete sense. Just let them in while you let yourself out. I think of Ben, and I want to show him everything.

“Great advice as usual, Mom. But I’m okay right now. There’s someone out there for me; I just haven’t met him yet.”

Jenny’s mom gives her a knowing look. “Maybe you already have, sweetie.” With that, she leaves the room.

“What do you think she means by that? Believe me, any guy I’ve already met or dated is not my ‘one.’”

“I don’t know, girl. Your mom’s a wise woman. Keep your eyes open and out of your books.” I wink at her before smacking her on the arm. “I’m starving, let’s eat!” I look over at the pile of Ben’s things and decide that I need to bring the picture to him tonight.

Everything is ready for our dinner tonight. The bowtie pasta with fresh garlic, tomatoes, mozzarella, basil, and grilled marinated chicken is ready to serve. The chardonnay has been chilling and will complement the dish perfectly.

The loft is clean and the sheets have been changed on the bed. I’m so friggin’ restless that my hair is in a million different directions from running my hands through it.

I check myself in the mirror one last time, while my mind flashes to last night. She’s managed to capture me, and I’m coming undone around her. Maybe she’s what I need right now.

I laugh thinking about how right she was last night. My release came so hard and fast as I screamed her name that I haven’t completely recovered yet. She thinks I’ve gone all alpha male, but the truth is, she brings it out in me. My desire and hunger for her when she’s near drives me to the brink of madness.

Tonight will be good for us. Hopefully, she can tear down some of her walls, and I can keep mine from going back up. I want everything to be perfect for us.

Looking over at the bed, I wonder if tonight will be the night. My palms begin to sweat and the butterflies in my gut are wreaking havoc. “Cut the shit, Ben. It’s not like you haven’t done this before.” I glance at the bed one more time. I’m acting like a fucking virgin all over again. Besides, it may not happen tonight. I don’t want to rush things. Sam has got to take the lead on when we become more intimate.

My heartbeat kicks up another notch when I hear her soft knock on my door. Nervously, I open the door. The beauty who is Sam eases my nerves and self-doubt when she looks at me and simply says, “Hi.”

“Hey. You look beautiful. Please, come in.” She has on a short jean skirt and a light blue sweater that falls off the shoulder. Images of nibbling her exposed shoulder flood my brain and awaken my throbbing dick.

She hands me the tray she brought for dessert. I notice that she made chocolate covered strawberries. “Chocolate? Why am I not surprised?”

She bends her head down, laughing softly. “I’m a sucker for anything chocolate.” She walks over to the counter and places a bag on it. “Mmm. What did you make? It smells delicious.” As if on cue her stomach growls, and she covers it with her hands.

“You and that stomach of yours. It will always tell me when you’re ready to eat.”

“My stomach knows when it’s about to have something yummy.”

“Well, I hope you’ll like it. It’s kind of a specialty of mine.” I grab her hand and move her to the stove. Lifting the cover off the simmering sauce, I ladle some for her to taste.

“Mmm. That’s incredible! Do you like to cook?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I continue. “When I have the time or when I want to share a meal with someone special.”

“Oh? You gave me the impression that you hadn’t dated in a while?” Her sense of unease is perceptible.

“That was my lame attempt to act smooth. No dates. Unless you want to count Jack as my someone special.” I laugh it off, but my off-handed remark has changed the climate in the room. An instant change of topic is in order.

“Would you like a tour?” She shakes her head yes while I open up my arms. “This is pretty much it. It’s an open floor plan. What you see is what you get. I do have a bathroom just down the hall. At the end of the hall there’s a small porch and backstairs. But everything else is right here. Kitchen, living room, dining room, and, of course, the bedroom.”

Sam looks around, walking in a circle. She smiles as she eyes the bed, and I can see the sudden coyness in her demeanor. Her face turns a light shade of pink as her eyes dart away.

I place my arm on her lower back and point at the table. “I set the table, but if you prefer, we can sit on the floor and eat at the coffee table?”

She looks over at the floor and smiles. “I like that idea. I’m more of a casual diner. I can take my shoes off, and we can relax.”

I love that she wants to kick off her shoes and sit on the floor. She moves her bag and sets it down next to the couch.
I’ll have to ask later what she’s got in it
. Working together, we bring over the dishes and re-set the table. Since my stupid comment, she hasn’t said much, and the awkwardness has me worried.

As if she senses my concern, she sets the glasses down and reaches for my hands. “I’m sorry I’m so quiet. I feel a bit nervous right now. And the thing is, I shouldn’t be. I always feel so comfortable around you, but your bed is in my line of vision at all times.”

I place my hands around her waist, pulling her into me. “Well, I’m glad that I’ve finally made you nervous, because I was starting to feel all alone here.”

“Well, it’s not necessarily you; it’s more the
what
.” She points her finger toward the bed that causes laughter to spread between us.

I hold her close to my body while I rest my chin on her head. “Okay. I can admit that I’m nervous about that, too. It’s nice to know that I affect you in the same way. Sometimes, when I’m around you, my emotions are all over the place. So I’ll take nervous any way I can get.” Her soft sigh stirs my dick again, and I decide I should hurry up and serve the meal.

We eat and talk casually about anything and everything. It’s awesome how easy it is to talk to her. She mentions that she’s going into the city tomorrow to shop for the ball. It’s a perfect segue into my next topic of conversation.

“You will have a great time shopping in the city. Are you excited to go to the ball?”

“I am. I’ve never really been to anything this formal, so I think it will be fun. Are you going?”

“Yeah, I kind of have to since we’re hosting part of it. It’s kind of a progressive night. People can purchase tickets to different events throughout the night and weekend. Some are casual, and some are more formal.”

“Wow, that sounds wonderful! I didn’t know it would be such a big event. You guys are going to be busy.”

“Well, we will start here and move to another winery after. I’m going to be busy, but not too busy.”
Here I go.
“I … um … I am hoping we can go together, and that you’ll be my date.” Pausing, I take her hand in mine and brush my thumb across it. “Sam, would you do me the honor of attending the ball with me?” My hands shake while I wait for an answer.

“I would love to go to the ball with you.” She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Now I’ll definitely have to find a special dress to wear for you.”

I reach out and touch her face softly. “I look forward to seeing you in that dress. But I have a feeling I’ll be more taken by your beauty and smile than anything else.” Her face grows red in color, and a wide smile breaks through.

She drops her gaze. “Stop doing this to me.”

My hand touches her chin to tilt her gaze back to mine. “Doing what?”

“You have a way with words, and I don’t think you realize it. You know just what to say to make me believe in love again.”

I pull her body close to me. “I want you to believe in love again, because being here with you, I know it can exist again.” This is the moment I realize she’s going to be a part of me and soon. Our arms encompass each other. It’s an embrace filled with comfort, acceptance, and the promise of more. Daring myself to speak the words I’m feeling, I take in a deep breath and let them out. “I want to fall in love again, Sam.” Her hug strengthens, and I return the fervor before she breaks contact.

“I want that, too, but first, there are some things I need to share. So I guess it’s my turn now. This is hard, so bear with me.” I watch her mouth open several times as her hands rub briskly against each other. I decide to change the subject again.

“So…dress shopping tomorrow, huh?” The relief in her smile is the only sign I need to keep talking. “You know they’ll drag you to every boutique you can imagine. They’re like an unstoppable force when they get together and shop.” She laughs, and I know her worry has eased.

“I know. I hope I can keep up with them. I’m not much of a shopper … I’m more of an eater.”

“Ha, well, I’m sure you will find a way to keep up with them. Just pack some chocolate in your purse, and you’ll be all set. In fact, I have something for you.”

I walk to the kitchen and open up the cabinet. I reach in and pull out the bag of Ghirardelli chocolates. “These are for you. I picked them up today. I know how much you like chocolate. I wanted you to have them. And I’ll stop rambling now.” I don’t think I ever blushed before, but the way she’s looking at me makes my face feel overtaken by heat.

“Ben, thank you. This is one of the nicest things anyone has done for me. I’ll put them in my purse and nibble on them all day long.” She leans over and kisses me too briefly on the lips, leaving me wanting more. I watch her look warily at the bag next to her on the floor.