Love, But Never (21 page)

              “No shit, try telling John that,” Marissa shot them a dangerous look.

              “It’s coming I promise.  If it doesn’t happen by the end of February, I’ll be shocked,” he said.  “He’s spending more and more time with you.  The group knows what’s on the horizon, believe me.”

              “So, another month? Really?”

              “Marissa, if you want this…I think he’s afraid you are going to jackrabbit on him again like you did when Matthew came back,” Susan offered.

              “I’m not though.  I’m in it, shitty sex and all.  He’s my best friend.”

              “Good, then I don’t have to worry about a scene in Denny’s next week?  You know, our weekly ‘family’ dinner?” Lucian chuckled.

              “Only from you?  How are you doing without Sara, Luc?  It’ll be weird having ‘family’ dinner without her.  The first time in two years.”

              “I’ll be fine.  Believe me.  I’m already tapping some rebound tail,” he said, pompously.

              “And you wonder why people think you are an asshole, Luc?” Susan laughed.

              “I don’t wonder at all.  I know why.  It keeps away the people who think they need to fix me,” he smirked, leaning back in his chair and stretching his long legs in front of him.

              “She was a bitch, that’s what made us the perfect couple,” he said, sadly.

              “That’s why you’re here!  We’re going to get drunk, watch a sappy romance flick and get all the morose crying out of you tonight!” Susan said, holding up the DVDs for the evening.  “I’m going to make the popcorn, and Ris, you get him loaded up on the vodka?”

              “Sounds like the best plan I’ve ever heard,” Lucian said, getting up from the table and leap frogging over the back of Susan’s sectional sofa into the living room.  “Get my booze, wench!” he yelled out to Marissa before stretching his legs onto the coffee table in front of him.

CHAPTER 15

February 2002

              “Okay, Marissa and Liv, you’ll be together to present on Buddhism, two weeks from tonight,” her World Religions teacher assigned.  Marissa smiled at the petite black haired girl across the room and nodded.  “See you on Thursday,” he dismissed.

              “Hey,” a slightly timid voice asked from beside her.  Marissa turned into the deep green eyes of Liv.

              “Hi!” Marissa grinned.

              “So, what are you up to right now?  Want to work out an outline?”

              “I’m meeting a couple of friends for dinner at Denny’s but they won’t mind if you crash,” Marissa said.  “I’d like to get everything started so we don’t have to worry about it the night before.”

              “Same here.  That sounds good!” Liv smiled.

              “Great, I’ll meet you there.  You’ll love these guys.”

              Marissa spotted Lucian and John in a corner booth when she and Liv entered.

              “Hey, babe,” John greeted, hugging her and kissing her forehead.

              “Hey doll,” Lucian said.

              “Hey guys. This is Liv, we got partnered for a project in Religions.  I hope you don’t mind a working dinner?” Marissa introduced.  Liv blushed and seemed to look through her lashes at John, demurely.  “Liv, this is John,” she said, interlacing her fingers with his to convey to Liv that he wasn’t on the menu, “And Lucian.”

              “Um, nice to meet you, both,” she smiled only at John and ducked into the booth next to Lucian.  Marissa and John slid into the booth across from them.

              “I ordered your skillet, honey, I hope that’s okay,” John moved his arm to put it behind Marissa’s shoulders.  She snuggled in feeling more possessive than she expected.

              “Thank you,” she purred, taking a sip of the soda in front of John.

              “You, two, are gross,” Lucian groaned.

              “Whatever, man,” John said.

              “You sure you aren’t together?” Lucian asked.

              Marissa’s eyes flew to a newly hopeful Liv.  Busted!

              “We’re…enjoying…each others’ company.  She
is
my best friend, after all,” John kissed Marissa’s temple.

              “For the last six months?  Really?  When are you going to make it official, already?” Lucian whined.  Marissa laughed, trying not to keep a smug smile from forming at the less than optimistic look that Liv was
now
sporting.  “What about you Liv?  Seeing anyone?” Lucian asked.

              “Actually, I’m seeing a guy with a girlfriend right now,” she answered, a devious smile playing on her lips. 
‘Shit, I will have to keep an eye on Liv.  Seems she’s willing to take what she wants.’
Marissa thought.  “What about you, Lucian?”

              “Recently dumped, looking for rebounds,” Lucian said, evocatively, but Marissa knew that Lucian was putting up a front and was more heartbroken than he let on.

              “You’ll have to keep looking,” Liv teased.

              “I’m wounded!” Lucian pretended she’d just stabbed him in the heart and scowling.

              “I’m so sure, Lucian,” Marissa laughed, “You coming over tomorrow night to chill?”

              Lucian sighed, “Yeah, are you picking me up after work?”

              “Yeah,” Marissa gave him an encouraging grin.  “I promise I won’t ask for help with my vague emotional bullshit.” A slow grin formed on Lucian’s formerly sullen face.

              “As long as there are no more
Dawson’s Creek
analogies, we’re good.”

              “Oh man,” John laughed and looked at Marissa, “Again?  You need to stop with that show, Ris!”

              “What?” Marissa’s eyes were wide with feigned innocence.  “Is it my fault that I feel like I’m stuck in a particularly angst-filled episode with you?  You hold me at arm’s length with one hand and pull me closer with the other.  You run hot and cold so much, I’m afraid you are going to generate your own tornado system.”

              John put his lips to her ear and growled in frustration.  His eyes flicked to Liv before he said, “Don’t you have an assignment you should be discussing?”  Irritation shot through Marissa at Liv’s responding giggle.

              “I guess you are right,” Marissa gave John a dirty look, before turning back to Liv. 

              “How should we split this up?” Liv asked Marissa, but made it clear she wasn’t necessarily discussing their assignment.  As the group ate, Liv and Marissa divided up the assignment and fell into a comfortable, companionable conversation.  Marissa tried to ignore Liv’s attempts to get John’s attention, but when John started to flirt back, she couldn’t take it anymore.

              “Luc, want to go to the Regret Lingers show tomorrow at the Amazon instead?” Marissa’s eyes darted to John’s shocked face.

              “Sounds good, we can go from the store,” he smiled, knowing exactly what she was doing.

              “Ris?” John asked.

              “What?” Marissa looked at him, ingenuously.

              “Um, want to stay over tonight?” John put his forehead to hers, looking deep into her blue eyes in proposition.

              Marissa grinned, “Sure.”

              “You’re going to see Regret Lingers?” Liv asked, practically salivating.

              “Yeah?” Marissa said, wondering why Liv was so interested.

              “I LOVE them!  I’ve seen them at the Amazon a few times,” she offered.

              “Nice,” Marissa smiled, thinking that Liv seemed to be into the same type of music as her and she was always looking for friends who would go with her to shows.

              “Marissa, here, knows them…well,” Lucian decided it was time to put his two cents into the conversation.

              “
REALLY
?!” Liv screeched.  “Aside from them being extremely talented, they are also SO beautiful!  I’m soo jealous, Marissa!” Liv was now gushing.  Marissa smiled, smugly, knowing that her friendship with a couple of members of Regret Lingers wasn’t the only reason Liv was jealous of her.  “You have to take me tomorrow night, too!” Liv begged.  “You have to introduce me.  I have such a crush on one of them.”

              A renewed rage lit through Marissa as Liv’s words about her crush.  “Oh really?  Who?” Marissa tried to keep her voice even, hoping she sounded more curious than seething.

              “Oh, I know everyone drools over Aaron, but I’ve always been more partial to Kyle,” she fluttered her eye lashes, dreamily.  Marissa let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding with more force than she intended and she felt John’s arm stiffen around her.  Before Marissa could think about why she was more upset about the prospect of Liv flirting with Aaron than her actual flirting with John, she felt John’s hand on her upper thigh under the table.

              “We should get home,” he smiled, suggestively.  Marissa could tell it was his way of getting past the Aaron talk at the table and the unspoken understanding they had about all things Regret Lingers.

              “That’s a good idea,” Lucian agreed.

              “Okay,” Marissa said and turned back to Liv, “We’d be happy to meet you at the Amazon tomorrow night, right, Lucian?”

              “Yeah, sounds good,” Lucian ignored the evil looks coming from John’s eyes.

              “Meet me at home?” John asked.  The fact that he made it sound like it was
their
home wasn’t lost on Marissa, even though he’d asked her to stay over in front of Liv.

              “I’ll see you there,” she laughed and headed for her truck.

              “Why do I feel like you and John were putting on a show for each other?” Liv asked as she pulled her keys from her purse.

              “What do you mean?” Marissa asked, doing the same with her keys.

              “Come on, you didn’t like that he was flirting so you mention the show tomorrow night, which makes him ask you over…why?” Liv said with an obvious understanding of what had just happened as she leaned against her car.

              “No reason, like Lucian said, we’ve been doing this dance for six months now and I’m starting to get sick of it,” Marissa shrugged.

              “And why does mentioning Regret Lingers get him to behave that way?”

              “I’m not sure it’s them, it’s just going
out
to see a show like that without him,” Marissa lied.

              “Come on!  That’s not why!” Liv howled with laughter.

              “Fine.  Aaron and I are friends, John isn’t a fan,” she confessed, shrugging.

              “Nice angle.”

              “We’ll see,” Marissa smiled and pulled her truck door open.  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said before climbing in.

              Because of Marissa’s conversation with Liv, John beat her to his house.  He was waiting against his boat of a car when she pulled up and got out of her truck.  He smiled at her approach and slid his arms around her hips when she finally joined him beside him in the driveway.

              “What took so long?” he asked before kissing her deeply.

              “Talked to Liv for a few,” Marissa shrugged.

              “She seems nice,” John said, dismissively.  He took her hand and led her into the house, straight to his bedroom.

              “Yeah, she’s cool.”

              “Are you really going to the show tomorrow night?” he asked, suddenly serious.

              “Yeah, why?” Marissa sat down on John’s bed and put her purse on the floor.

              “Because, I’m not sure I want my
girlfriend
hanging around with Aaron,” he said with a slight sneer.

              “Excuse me?” Marissa started, chuckling slightly that her plan worked a little too well, “Your girlfriend?  I don’t remember being asked…”

              “I figured after six months together, you knew?” John said, confused.

              “Um, obviously not…considering your response tonight,” Marissa snorted.  “We’re…enjoying… each other’s company,” she imitated with a smirk.

              “Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I figured it was none of Lucian’s business…but I’m ready, Ris, are you?” he asked.

              “I’ve been ready for a few months now, or haven’t
you
noticed?” she pulled him down onto the bed with her.

              “So, tomorrow?” John asked again, cautiously.

              “I’m still going…,” she laughed, “but I’m going with the knowledge I’m taken.”

              “I can handle that,” John pulled her in for another kiss.  Marissa let the familiarity wash over her and she sighed, contentedly. 
‘Finally!  Now I don’t have to fear my reaction to seeing Aaron tomorrow.  I won’t feel any temptation,’
Marissa told herself as she settled against ‘her’ pillow on John’s bed.

              Bach’s
Suite in B Minor
stirred Marissa from her sleep early the next morning.  She fumbled in her purse beside John’s bed.

              “Hello?” she croaked.

              “Marissa!  Your grandma is in the hospital.  You need to find time to visit her today,” her mother said.  Marissa sat up in the bed and looked at John, starting to stir next to her.

              “What’s going on?”

              “Your Uncle Ryan took her into the ER last night because she was having trouble hearing.  He thought she might’ve had a stroke.”

              “Did she?” Marissa asked, holding her breath.

              “No.”

              “Thank God!  But why is she still there?” she released her breath in relief.

              “The CAT scan showed lesions in her brain, honey.”

              “Cancer?” Marissa felt all of the blood drain from her face and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing this to be a dream, well, a nightmare.

              “You need to go visit her, honey.  They don’t know how much longer she’ll have.  Or how much longer she’ll be lucid.”