Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Family, Real Love (14 page)

I have a lot of food noise in my head and always have. Was I born with it, or was it maybe that Mom sang the chorus every time I put on a “few”? I have always been within 12 pounds of what I weigh now, except when I was pregnant with Ally. After eighteen months, I was in the 140 range I started at before pregnancy, and sixteen years later I got down to 130, which is a great weight for me. Why did I take so long to go down to my best weight? I have no idea. I am so much happier now. I admit my breast reduction helped me lose the last few pounds. Every day I negotiate my meals in my head. For example, if I have an ice cream, I won’t eat a big dinner. If I know I am going out for dinner, I won’t eat a big lunch. I tell Ally that no particular food is forbidden, but portions count. Sharing is the best—you save money and eat everything you want in proper portions. Restaurant portions are way too big for anyone to eat regularly if you want to sustain a normal weight.

You need to eat breakfast to start the engine and eat five small meals a day for fuel. If you starve your body, your body will literally hold on to your fat in order to reserve the fuel. Tell the waiter to wrap up half the meal before serving it. Now you have dinner for two nights. For me, eating offers diminishing returns. Aren’t the first few bites of something decadent the most satisfying? I have been “killing” food for a long time, as I talked about in an episode of the show when I killed some French fries by pouring water on them. ■

I hardly ever go clothes shopping because my figure always looks awful to me in the dressing room mirror. I know that my clothes size is normal; I even think I look good naked. Yet somehow, trying on clothes always makes me feel fat and ugly. Recently I got the news that my thyroid is probably failing, which is as good an excuse as any on which to blame my weight issues. Not that I’ll do anything about it. As far as my actual diet goes, I graze on a lot of dark chocolate. ■

None of us are fans of fake acrylics. Remember that the salon you attend must follow the strictest hygienic standards and be immaculately clean—look for sterilized equipment, stored separately for each client, and examine the soaking basins yourself.

For what? Thighs that were a little too fat? Lisa is skeptical of the whole thing. Jill thinks lipo should be used as a last resort to reshape a figure only if you can’t lose any more weight. Jill’s advice: Don’t use lipo to take out what you wouldn’t want to see elsewhere. Don’t lipo your stomach to get thin, because when you put on a few pounds you will most likely gain it in your arms and breasts.

I do believe that because I felt so unattractive for many of my formative years, I am more concerned about looks than are many of my contemporaries. I make no apologies for this. If you do want cosmetic surgery, the most important factor is finding the best doctor. A doctor can help you understand the procedure and its limitations. If you have an unrealistic view of yourself or if the surgeries are too frequent, then you need to seek counseling. ■

My mother did look like a real-life movie star when we were kids, but only on Saturday nights. During the week, it was jeans and no makeup, but on Saturday night, Mommy was a glamour girl, complete with the “fall” hair-piece and gobs of fabulous makeup and accessories. I used to watch in awe as she got dressed. I didn’t think Mom needed a facelift when she got one. But she did think so and it’s her face.

Intellectually, I hate the idea that we women have to maintain a youthful appearance to keep our social standing. But emotionally, I don’t like looking sad, angry or ugly. Lines can do that to you. Therefore, I make no rules. If the turkey-gobble neck appears, I’m running to the best doctor I can find. Even Grandma Syl had that done, and she was seventy when she did it!
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I think you need to constantly maintain your appearance and make subtle adjustments. I am horrified by some of the faces I see. know people who have had so much work done that they look like freaks at forty-five. One woman know got such high cheek implants that she looked Asian—and she wasn’t. Of course, when I asked her for advice after I tried some saline in my lips, she told me she never did anything to her face. Did she think I was blind? I don’t think you should lie about plastic surgery. If you do it, own it. ■

1.
Are you self-conscious about aspects of your appearance?

2.
If so, can you change those aspects yourself? What will it take?

3.
Is there something about your appearance that you cannot change on your own that significantly affects your self-image? Have you done research into your options about changing your appearance?

4.
Is your confidence affected by what other people think of you and not by what you think of yourself?

5.
How much do you judge other people by their appearance? (Be honest; no one’s looking.) Do you live up to the standards that you judge others by?