The Child Whisperer (29 page)

Keeping Up

Parents of Type 3 children experience the challenge of feeling pushed. These children tend to push their parents persistently until they get their way, using phrases like, “You should,” or “You have to.” If you don’t understand and honor the movement behind these statements, you might think your child is trying to strong-arm or manipulate you. They’re not. They’re just determined to get what they want and they’ll go for it directly. You may have noticed that even if you’ve told your Type 3 child no, they’ll do it anyway. Their excuse might be, “You’re not the boss of me.”

Child Whisperer Tip:
You can be equally direct in your response to your Type 3 child. They will appreciate how open and to-the-point you are. You don’t need to give a lot of excuses or explanations about why they can or can’t do something—it will only make the issue muddy and open up other places where they can push you. It’s important to realize that Type 3 energy is substantial and your child may need to grow into themselves! They are not aware of how pushy they can be, or how determined they are when they have their mind on something. Your job as their parent is to help them grow into the dynamic energy they naturally express, rather than squash it or shame it.

Parents of Type 3 children also mention that their child is so
loud.
They may have an immediate temper tantrum that seems like it came from nowhere. The intensity of a Type 3’s emotion sometimes feels a little overwhelming, especially for a parent of a lower movement on the energy scale.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Help your child feel like they can
do
something about their frustrations. Give them choices, redirect to another meaningful activity, or just give them space to experience their big emotions without trying to shut it down or contain it. Most importantly, do not match their level of intensity or their tone of voice. Their active nature might spark an explosive reaction in you, but you don’t have to give into it. You have control over the way you react.

Here’s a challenge that can actually be a lot of fun: keeping up with your child! Type 3 children are on the move all day long, which can sometimes exhaust their parents.

Child Whisperer Tip:
You do not (nor should you be) your Type 3 child’s sole physical outlet. You will both get tired if you try. When your children are young, find a play group, a child’s gym, a grandparent, a mother’s helper, or someone who is willing to
do
something with your child. Your child will appreciate the variety, and you will appreciate the break.

. . . .

JOSEPH’S STORY

Stomping on the Downstairs Neighbors

My grandson Joseph is very heavy-footed and likes to stomp around the house. He also climbs a lot and jumps off the ottoman and kitchen chairs. He got his older Type 4 brother going, as well, which made for two rambunctious little boys stomping and jumping around the house.

Unfortunately, this was not conducive to the second floor townhome their family lived in. After repeated complaints from the downstairs neighbor, who did not understand the nature of these two little boys, my daughter and son-in-law first attempted to quiet little Joseph. It only turned into a daily practice of shushing him and telling him to stop stomping around and quit jumping. Jenny became stressed and sad that she was teaching him he couldn’t be who he naturally was.

After much consideration, Joseph’s parents decided to move to a new townhome that was both a bottom and second floor where Joseph could stomp and jump freely. Jenny knew it was not supportive of her Type 3 son to try and contain his natural movement in his own home when it was not harming anyone! He also needed a yard to run and play in to get outside each day, which their new townhome offered them as well. This was a big decision, but they put their son’s needs first and it turned out to be the most supportive thing they could do for their young family.

. . . .

The challenges of parenting a Type 3 child are overshadowed by the great joy that these children are to their families. These children love to try new things and be active together. They are easy to take to new places. They keep the family moving forward, getting things done. They love as passionately as they do everything else. When these children feel supported in living true to their natures, their enthusiasm naturally motivates others to become their best selves.

Express your love for your Type 3 child by doing something for them today. Whatever you’ve been putting off, telling them that you’ll do it later or that they need to wait, get going and make it happen soon—today, even. They will see that you moved into action for them and it will make a huge difference in your relationship with them.

What inspiration do you have about how to help your child feel they are a gift in your family? Make some notes here. Then take action on what you wrote.

The Type 3 Determined Daughter

Type 3 daughters are fiery and passionate. Type 3 energy is active, reactive, swift and determined—not a stereotypically feminine movement. As young children, Type 3 daughters are active and engaging and may be seen as such in a positive light. They may organize games with their friends or lead the neighborhood children in adventures. They can run into the challenge of being told they are too loud or too rambunctious, which might set them on a path of trying to soften or ignore their naturally swift, dynamic nature.

The more they grow, the more they may hear the label “tomboy.” Although I know that nobody intends harm when using this reference, I do not find it the most flattering way to label these girls’ fiery, passionate quality of feminine energy.

In a culture that tends to recognize the feminine expression as one that is soft and gentle, a Type 3 female who expresses herself as swift, determined, or competitive is seen as more boy-like and referenced in a way that says she is somehow less of a girl. How inaccurate! How damaging! These girls need to know that their determined movement is perfectly fine and perfectly feminine. Let’s eliminate the term “tomboy” and honor these strong, determined females for who they are. They have a lot to offer with their Type of feminine!

If they are not supported in living true to themselves, these girls may try to send a message to the world that is actually in conflict with who they truly are. Even though their nature is dynamic and determined, they may try to soften themselves in order to not be seen as so intense.

This is not the message the world receives. Instead of being perceived as softer, these girls may actually look more masculine than ever, and be perceived by others as overly aggressive or abrasive. When they are living true to themselves, this couldn’t be further from the truth. A Type 3 girl who lives true to her nature is engaging, interesting, and truly beautiful.

The opposite may also happen. A Type 3 teenage daughter may decide that she’s tired of being treated like someone she’s not and go overboard sassy. She may take her edginess to an extreme that’s too big, even for her. She may rebel as loudly as she can and take more risks than she should, to her own detriment. She plays bigger than she actually is in an attempt to prove that her true nature is not so bad.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Whatever you do, honor your Type 3 daughter’s fiery, active nature as the beautiful, feminine gift that it truly is. Support her in moving forward with her goals. If she wants to start a business, encourage her. If she wants to be a rock star, sign her up for guitar lessons. If she wants to learn, or build, or do, ask her what she needs to make her plans happen. Her plans might be bigger than anything you could dream up for her, and you might not know what to do. Just remember that your approval and confidence in her natural abilities will make all the difference.

. . . .

KATIE CLAIRE’S STORY

Entering the World With a Bang

At the time of writing the Type 3 section of this book, I had the great blessing and honor of welcoming my third grandchild to our family: Katie Claire Brown, a beautiful, dynamic Type 3 little girl, daughter of Anne and Tanner Brown, my daughter and son-in-law.

Katie entered the world with a bang, very true to her nature. Anne was admitted to the hospital a week after her due date to be induced to start the labor of their new baby girl. After fifteen hours of not much happening, they decided to increase Anne’s labor-inducing medication. A sudden change in the baby’s heart rate created a rapid change of plans and put a ten-person medical team into action immediately for an emergency Caesarean section. Both mom and dad were panicked and scared for the life of this little girl. The C-section was performed in minutes and a healthy baby girl was born. She was very content after her delivery and Anne and I commented that she came into her life true to her nature and she seemed pretty happy about that!

As I was not raised true to my nature, you can imagine how grateful I am that my daughter and son-in-law understand little Katie’s nature and will raise her in a way that will support this little girl in becoming a confident, self-assured young woman and adult who lives true to her natural gifts and talents.