The Guide to Getting It On (29 page)

Massaging Under the Testicles

If his scrotum is tight, and his testicles are hiked-up closer to his shoulders than to his knees, heat the room and put a warm washcloth over his crotch. Let it warm up for a couple of minutes until the testicles hang freely. Press into the middle of the scrotum with your fingertips. You will be touching the part of the penis that is covered by the testicles. Massage this area all the way back to where the man’s anus begins. There is often a single spot on this part of the penis where a number of ligaments, muscle fibers, and nerve endings seem to converge. Putting fingertip pressure on this spot while massaging the “regular” part of the penis with your other hand can make the entire shaft—from the base of the pelvis to the head of the penis—experience a subtle, warm feeling that some men will find enjoyable. This might be on one side of the shaft rather than in the middle. You might also try massaging this area when giving a blowjob.

A man’s testicles will nearly cripple him with pain if they get hit, knocked or flicked, but not when a partner caresses and massages them. Nor will it hurt if you push into the scrotum between the testicles to massage the hidden part of the penis. Being massaged in this area can feel like getting a really nice back rub, only it’s between the legs. Just be gentle at the start.

Additional Testicle Massage Techniques

Here are a few techniques to try on the testicles, as well as some strokes that include the testicles and penis. None of these strokes should cause any pain or discomfort. If they do, stop. There is more information about testicles in Chapter 17:
Balls, Balls, Balls.

SimpIe Testicle Massage:
Explore with your fingertips the space between and around the testicles. Be gentle at first, and seek plenty of feedback. Once you find a form of massage that pleases the man, do it often. For some men, the sensation feels like it’s part back rub and part orgasm. They might even prefer this to stroking their penis.

Ball Rub:
With the thumb and forefinger of one hand, make a ring around the part of your man’s scrotum where it attaches to his groin. Squeeze gently until his testicles are popping out a bit, but not enough to cause pain. Run the fingertips of your other hand up and down the sides of his scrotum with a light tickling touch.

FIat-Handed Doggy Dig:
Straddle your partner’s chest while facing his feet. Lay his penis flat against his belly with the head pointing up toward his navel. Place one of your well-lubricated hands between his legs with your fingertips resting below his testicles. Pull the hand all the way up to his belly, dragging your fingers over his testicles and penis. Repeat with your other hand, rhythmically alternating strokes as a dog might when digging in the dirt. This same stroke is illustrated in Chapter 15:
The Zen of Finger Fucking,
but as done on a woman.

Penis Up, Balls Down:
Be sure that your hands are well-lubricated. Grasp the lower part of the penis with one hand. Clamp the fingers of your other hand around the base of the scrotum where it attaches to the groin. This should cause the testicles to pop out a bit, and the skin covering them should become taut. Squeeze both hands lightly, and then do an upward stroke with the penis hand while the testicle hand pulls gently in the opposite direction. Find a tempo that works for both of you, and keep repeating these strokes.

The Point of No Return

When doing an extreme handjob, you might want to keep your man highly aroused for long periods of time without letting him ejaculate. We haven’t lost our minds, it is possible.

Think about a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 means no sexual arousal and 10 is an orgasm. Let’s say your partner starts to ejaculate when he reaches a 9 on this imaginary scale. Past that, there’s no turning back. Try to keep him between 7 and 8 for as long as possible before finally letting him squirt, an event that might be rather powerful when it does occur.

One way to keep a guy at such a high level of excitement is to learn his body language for when he is about to ejaculate. There are physical signs for when the wad is about to blow: the veins in his penis may start to bulge, or his penis might give a sudden throb, the color of the head might darken, his testicles may suck up into his groin, his muscles may suddenly tighten, his hips may thrust, and he might start to groan like a dying bull or invoke the names of the saints. Change the stroke, squeeze hard, or decrease the intensity when this starts to happen.

Some women find it very helpful if the man is able to report his levels of excitement by saying something like “6,” “7,” “8,” or “9.” Even the cues “more” or “less” are often enough. This will help you learn when to up the pace and when to back off. After a while you will become so familiar with his body language that you won’t need him to tell you.

Ready, Set, Relax

It never hurts to begin genital massage by finding those parts of your partner’s body where tension gathers. Who knows why, but the shoulders and back often become the body’s collecting points for tension. There is no point in doing good work on a man’s genitals when the weight of the world is parked between his shoulder blades. This is also true for women’s bodies.

Some men believe that the only important part of sex is when a penis is being rubbed, sucked or fucked. They might not care about the tension in their shoulders. They will sometimes direct your hands straight to their crotch with the idea that an orgasm will help relax them. While this is true, think of how much more pleasure they could receive if they were relaxed to begin with.

If your partner is getting too penis-oriented for his own good, go ahead and fondle his testicles with one hand. At the same time, repeat your request that he close his eyes and relax. Inform him straightaway that you will do to his body what you like, when you like, and how you like. If he still objects, slap him upside the head and remind him what you are holding in your other hand!

Spreading the Excitement — Pavlov Between the Legs

Extreme handjobs can be used to help a man link the sensations in his crotch with other parts of his body. For instance, Hindu/Yoga types might have you stimulate the man’s genitals with one hand while caressing various chakras (e.g. upper abdomen, heart, third eye, hair piece) with your other hand. It may help if he inhales deeply while you are doing this, as though he is sucking the warm glow from his genitals into the upper part of his body.

Western-psychology types might suggest kissing or caressing your partner’s neck, shoulders, nipples, or chest while massaging his genitals. At various intervals, stop stroking the man’s genitals but continue to kiss or caress the other designated body parts. If he were a dog and his name was Pavlov, he might eventually learn to have genital sensations when you caress these other body parts without reaching between his legs. Likewise, he might learn to have pleasant sensations in other parts of his body when his penis is stimulated. The goal is to help a man experience sensation over his entire body.

Dear Paul,

What if a guy is uncircumcised? Do you give him the same kind of handjob as a guy who is cut? —Helen from Troy

Dear Helen,

An uncut penis has plenty of sensitive foreskin that slides up and down with each stroke. The foreskin also keeps the head of the penis moist. The skin on a cut penis is tighter and the head is dry. The skin doesn’t glide up and down as smoothly. Doing a traditional handjob is easier on an uncircumcised penis, and it doesn’t require lube.

With erotic massage, you will be using oil whether your Trojan’s boner is circumcised or intact. On the strokes where you pull the foreskin taut, you will have more yardage to pull down, or ask him to hold the foreskin taut around the base of the penis while you use your hands on the shaft and head or shaft and scrotum. Also, if you pull the foreskin over the head of his penis, you can insert a well-lubed fingertip into the space between the head and the foreskin and swirl it around. For more tips, see Chapter 17:
Fun with Your Foreskin.

VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED:
A 20-minute DVD by The Pleasure Mechanics titled
Guide to Handjobs, How to Touch the Penis for Prolonged Arousal and Powerful Orgasms.
The tone in this video is wonderful and the instruction is top notch. Since they use a lifelike penis instead of a real penis, it is not pornographic, but it has everything a woman needs to know about giving a great handjob. This video should be given to every teenage girl and college coed in the country. Being able to give an exceptional handjob is an important skill at any age, but it’s especially important if there is no condom around to help prevent pregnancy or the spread of STIs. Watching a video like this will help guarantee handjob perfection.

CHAPTER

15

The Zen of Finger Fucking

“
Rubbing lightly is what I do when I masturbate, so I like it even more when my boyfriend does it. I love it when he runs his fingers along my inner lips, up and down. I also love my genitals to be rubbed and tickled when I wear jeans or corduroy. I can come from that kind of stimulation.”
female age 23

Some men take the term “finger fucking” quite literally. They think that a woman’s idea of a good time is having a man cram his fingers up her vagina. Or they attack a woman’s clitoris as if it were a broken doorbell button, believing that the harder they push it the closer she gets to the big “O.” The only “O” she is likely to experience is “OUCH!” rather than orgasm.

The truth is, finger fucking is not something a man does to a woman, but something he does with a woman. It’s all of him — his smile, kiss, laughter, strength, and tenderness focused in the ends of his fingers.

Hopefully you will find this chapter to be helpful, especially if you are able to leave your bulldozer behind and are willing to try things with your fingers that maybe you’ve never felt before. However, none of it will make a difference if your partner isn’t turned-on before you touch her clitoris or if she won’t give you feedback. If she isn’t already feeling at least somewhat aroused, there isn’t much that you can do with your fingers that will put a smile between her legs.

And please, forgive the term “finger fucking.” It’s just an expression. The last thing you’ll want is for your fingers to be doing a bony imitation of a penis fucking a woman’s vagina. If your fingers were supposed to do the job of a penis, something white and gooey would squirt out of the tips when you rubbed your knuckles.