The Guide to Getting It On (28 page)

Technical Points

Some women give handjobs that are jerky. After all, it’s called “jerking off.” And it might appear that when guys masturbate we use a single upstroke followed by a single downstroke, in rapid succession. But that’s not how we do it. We usually have a more fluid motion. The hand doesn’t stop or even slow down as it changes direction from up to down. The motion is smooth rather than jerky, which means the term “jerking off” is a misnomer.

Another potential problem occurs when a woman slows down or stops pumping as the man begins to ejaculate. While some guys may want you to stop right away, most will greatly appreciate it if you keep stroking for a few minutes after they ejaculate (“stroking through”). Some might want you to proceed as though the penis were an udder, with you milking out each drop. As part of this process, some guys might push with their fingers into the hidden part of their penis that’s between their balls, or into the perineum area between the balls and the bum.

As the handjob motion becomes familiar, you might want to caress your lover’s testicles with one hand as you are jerking him off with the other. Touchy-feely types claim that orgasmic rapture is enhanced if you stare into each other’s eyes as he is coming.

Variation:
Consider doing your man when he is standing or kneeling as opposed to lying on his back. This could be nice for both of you.

Ball Trick:
When masturbating, some guys push the little finger of the stroking hand against the lower part of the shaft near the scrotum. This causes the testicles to jiggle or vibrate with each stroke, which can feel really nice. But it’s always best to seek your man’s input when first trying to do this, since your pinky might inadvertently poke him in the nuts.

Ultimately, it is unlikely you will get your sweetheart’s hand motion exactly right unless you have him show you. That’s because each guy varies in terms of grip, stroke, and rhythm—not to mention anatomy. Don’t be surprised if it takes a few tutorials before you get it right, especially if your hand is considerably smaller than his. If your own man is too uptight to teach you, it’s likely that any number of his friends will be more than willing to let you learn the basics on them, or maybe one of your girlfriends can demonstrate on her boyfriend. It can be both fun and helpful talking to your friends about their own special techniques for getting guys off, although you shouldn’t assume they know better than you when it comes to the guy you are with.

In his wonderful books
Tricks to Please a Man
(Greenery Press) author Jay Wiseman lists several tips to make a traditional handjob more fun. For instance, he suggests caressing the penis and balls for ten seconds with your fingertips, followed by one quick up-and-down hand stroke. Then caress for ten more seconds, followed by two quick up-and-down hand strokes. After every ten-second period of caressing, increase the stroke total by one.

Panty Play:
If he likes lingerie, take your panties off and drape them over his penis and testicles while you are giving him a handjob.

Thigh Sensation:
While facing him, have him straddle your thigh so it is touching or pushing up against his testicles as you are stroking his penis.

When a Man Helps a Partner Learn How to Please Him

A man can help both himself and his partner if he will turn the lights up, get naked, and let her learn about his genitals. The purpose is for her to tickle, squeeze, tug, and prod each part of the man’s sexual anatomy so she can learn his comfort zones and become more confident in handling him “down there.” She should gently, increase the pressure on each part until the man says something such as “Ouch!” At that point, the woman eases up until he says, “That’s good!” Here are a few specifics:

Penis:
Have her tug it, yank it, and squeeze it until she’s able to distinguish your
Ouch!
zone from your
Good!
zone. Then help her learn how to grasp your penis to give you a handjob. Indicate how far up and down you like the strokes to go, as well as how fast to do them and how long you wish she would keep stroking after you come.

Testicles:
If the room is cold, and your cojones are in frostbite mode, turn up the heat and put something warm over them until you have coaxed them back down. Once they are hanging freely, have her tickle, caress, and play with them, letting her know what feels good and what doesn’t. Then have her slowly squeeze each testicle, letting her know how far to go. Also, have her put a finger or two in the space between your testicles and push in until she is massaging the buried part of your penis.

Extreme Hand-job Techniques For an Extremely Good Time

The next couple of pages talk about special techniques for doing an extended handjob when your goal is to give a man pleasure with each stroke as opposed to just getting him off. Lubricating your hands and his genitals is essential for this. Any number of oils will work nicely, as long as you’re thinking coconut or peanut oil instead of Penzoil. It’s a penis you are massaging, not a piston.

Extreme Technique: Lube Him Up

The first thing to do is to get your man completely naked. This is usually not a difficult task.

The most civilized way of lubricating a groin is to cup one hand over the man’s genitals and drip massage oil over your hand. Gravity will pull the oil through your fingers and onto his genitals unless you are in outer space. Make sure that your man’s testicles and penis are thoroughly basted with oil. To catch the excess oil, put a thick towel under him with a sheet of plastic under that. Plastic garbage bags work really well. If cleanup is going to pose problems, use less oil.

Different Strokes

When doing him dry, it’s best to be by your bronco’s side so you can imitate his strokes. But when giving an extreme handjob, you will be using lube, so you can do a fine job from wherever you sit unless it’s across the room.

These strokes make it possible for you to give a man extreme full-body sexual pleasure that he is not capable of giving himself—by massaging his genitals in specific ways. It is not necessary for him to have an erection for this to feel great. Many guys remain semi-erect when receiving penis massage. Some people think it feels best when the penis isn’t erect. However, some guys will feel unmanly if their penis goes flat. Please reassure your man ahead of time that you don’t expect him to stay hard.

Fists Going Up:
Be sure all skin surfaces are well lubed. Wrap one hand around the base of the penis, squeeze lightly and pull it up along the shaft, over the head and into the air. As this hand is making its upward stroke, grab the base of the penis with your free hand, squeeze and do the same thing. Create a fluid motion with one hand constantly following the other. Slow the pace if the man shows signs of impending orgasm. Some folks suggest giving a little extra squeeze or snap on the upward stroke just as your hand reaches the head of the penis.

Fists Going Down:
Same technique as above, only in the reverse direction with your hands going from the tip of the penis to the base. Downward strokes such as these usually require an erection. Otherwise, the thing just flops there in your hand. Also, use a more open grip so you don’t shove the penis into the body.

Thumbs Up:
While facing your man’s crotch, clasp your fingers together as you might do when in deep prayer. The only difference here is that your hands are clasped around your man’s penis. Use the pads of your thumbs to massage the front part of the penis where nature left the seam showing. Spend extra time rubbing the area where the head attaches to the shaft, or just below it (frenulum). Some people compare the sensitivity of this area to that of the clitoris, although they are probably overstating the case.

Open Palm Rubbing Head of Penis:
Some guys might like this; others won’t. Hold the shaft of the penis in one hand so it is sticking straight out from the man’s body. Open your other hand flat and rub it in a circular pattern over the head of the penis and down toward the frenulum, as though you were buffing it. Make sure that the palm of your hand is well-lubed.

Twisting the Cap Off a Bottle of Beer:
Hold the shaft of a well-lubricated penis near the base. With your other hand, grasp the head of the penis as though it were the cap on a bottle of beer. Twist it as if you were opening a beer bottle, with your thumb and forefinger running along the groove under the ridge where the head attaches to the shaft.

Wringing a Towel Dry:
Grasp the lower part of a well-lubed penis with one hand and the upper part of the shaft with the other. There should be no gap between your hands unless nature endowed your man with an elephant trunk instead of a penis. Twist your hands back and forth in opposite directions.

How to Pull the Foreskin Taut

The penis can usually be made more sensitive by stretching the foreskin. In fact, guys who masturbate with lubrication often use one hand to pull the foreskin taut while stroking the shaft with the other. This also helps keep the baggy skin on the scrotum from rising up onto the shaft of the penis. There are a couple of ways to achieve this:

Clamp your thumb and forefinger around the shaft of the penis nearly an inch above where it joins the testicles (scrotum). Pull the skin down so your other fingers and palm rest on the testicles. This will make the foreskin taut. If the man is uncircumcised, reach higher up on the shaft to pull the extra skin down.

Strokes to Try When the Skin on the Penis Is Pulled Taut

If a penis is cut, you won’t have as much foreskin to pull taut. But these strokes can still feel good when the foreskin is pulled taut regardless of a man’s circumcision status.
Ouch Alert! Only do genital massage on a penis with a taut foreskin if you are using lubrication.

Penis-Belly Rub:
The penis should be lubricated and resting flat against the man’s belly. Pull the skin taut at the base of the penis. Open your other hand and lay it flat on top of the penis; then drag it toward the man’s chest, as if you were trying to push or pull the good feelings out of his penis and onto the skin of his belly. Repeat.

The Corkscrew or Following the Stripe on the Barber’s Pole:
Pull the skin taut at the base of your partner’s well-lubricated penis. Wrap your other hand around the base, squeeze lightly and twist it upward as though you were following a corkscrew or the stripe on a barber’s pole. If his penis is hard enough, do a reverse downstroke. This should return your hand to the same position where it started, or just do a series of upward strokes. Whether you are giving oral sex or a lubricated handjob, don’t hesitate to use a twisting motion up and down the shaft of the penis, especially just beneath the head.

Thumbs Up — Thumbs Down:
There are two ways to grasp a penis that is lubricated. One is with your hand facing up, so the little finger is toward the base of the penis and the thumb is toward the head. The other is with your hand facing down, so the thumb is around the base and your little finger is around the head end of the penis. It can be quite impressive when a woman alternates hand orientation with her stroking hand, so he never knows if the next stroke will be thumbs up or thumbs down.

Octopussy Fingers:
Pull the foreskin taut with one hand. Lay the palm of your other hand over the head of the penis and drop your fingers down along the sides of the shaft. (Your hand will look like an open parachute or an octopus when it swims.) Your fingers will stimulate the sides of the penis as you move your hand up and down. You can also twist your hand sideways, or do a corkscrew stroke that combines both motions.