Read The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women Online

Authors: Tristan Taormino

Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Women's Health, #Sexuality, #Reference, #Personal & Practical Guides, #Self-Help, #Sexual Instruction

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (17 page)

BOOK: The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
9.35Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads
Tips for the Receiver
When your partner is about to enter you, take several deep breaths. Deep breathing will help you relax and concentrate on opening your ass as well as circulating blood to your genitals. (Taking shallow breaths tightens the muscles and inhibits the engorgement process.) Spreading your ass cheeks and holding them apart can help your partner during initial penetration. If you feel yourself start to tense, concentrate on relaxing those sphincter muscles. You may want to relax and bear down slightly.
It sounds like the opposite of what you should be doing, but it can actually help make penetration easier and more comfortable. Your partner should stimulate your clit or you can self-stimulate as you are penetrated, which will help keep your arousal level up and make penetration more pleasurable.
If your partner is having trouble hitting the intended target (hey, those two holes are close together and it’s slippery with all that lube), wrap your fingers around the head of the cock and help guide it inside your ass. Continue to give your partner cues and directions about what you’re experiencing and what you need.
Double Penetration
Some women really like the feeling of having both orifices penetrated at the same time. This can be done with fingers, fingers and a toy, two toys, a penis and a toy, or two penises. If you’re using a toy, make sure it’s made of a flexible material. Some women can accommodate something in their pussy and in their ass simultaneously with relative ease. For others, it takes some effort, lots of warm-up, and practice. It may also depend on the size of the things you’re trying to fit in. If you want two penises or two dildos, you may not be able to do it at all, since double penetration really depends on your internal map, and if there’s room for two. For most women, when something sizable goes in one hole, the membrane that separates the vaginal and rectal cavities gives slightly one way or the other to accommodate it. So, if there’s a large toy in your pussy, your ass may feel tighter than normal (and vice versa).
Their penises moved in unison
inside me. I could clearly feel them
both, their tips meeting, brushing
each other through what felt like a
flimsy membrane, a thin wall of
skin which was in danger at every
thrust, and was becoming more and
more fragile. They’re going to tear
me, I thought, they’re going to tear
me and then they really will meet,
one against the other. I repeated it
to myself. I liked hearing myself
say it. They’re going to tear me.
What a delicious idea…
—ALMUDENA GRANDES—
You can try different techniques to see which one suits you. You may want to inch one finger or cock in one hole, then inch a finger in the
other hole. Work your way in slowly, and alternate between the two until it feels comfortable. Or you can have one orifice fully penetrated (the ass would be the best choice since, for most women, it requires more warm-up), then have your partner work his or her way into the other. Some people like to alternate holes—as a finger or a cock goes in one hole, another finger or cock comes out of the other hole—then switch, so the effect is like two pistons going in opposite directions.
You are the one who will know best if it’s possible, so make sure you’re the one who’s in charge and calling the shots. You’re testing the limits of your body, so make sure you give your partner plenty of feedback about how it feels.
Anal Sex Positions
People ask me: “What’s the best position for anal sex?” My answer: the one that works for both of you. Missionary position can be great, unless keeping her legs in the air or over your shoulders isn’t comfortable for her. Spooning works if your bodies line up naturally, and the giver can get a good angle. If you choose doggie-style (my personal favorite), you can do traditional on-all-fours or do head-down, ass-in-the-air. All the positions people employ for vaginal penetration can be used for anal penetration. Since everyone has individual needs, tastes, and desires, it is important to explore all kinds of positions to discover what works best for you and your partner. Think of each new position as an opportunity to explore different depths, speeds, rhythms, and dynamics; there’s lots of erotic territory to find simply by changing your point of view.
Missionary Position
This position finds the receptive partner on her or his back and the insertive partner on top; many times, you can enhance this position with a pillow or something like the Liberator Shapes wedge, a firm pillowlike shape designed for sex. Here are a few styles of missionary:
 
MISSIONARY WITH KNEES UP: Receiver lies on her/his back with giver sitting or kneeling between receiver’s legs. To insure full access to the back door, prop up the butt (in order to tip the hips up and back slightly) and have your partner spread her/his legs with knees bent.
 
LEGS OVER SHOULDERS: Receiver lies on her/his back with heels in the air. Legs can be drawn in so that knees touch the chest or flipped over the shoulders. Giver sits or kneels between receiver’s legs. Although this position may create a better angle for entry, it is one that even the most flexible among us may find hard to sustain.
 
MISSIONARY ON THE EDGE: Receiver lies on her/his back at the edge of the bed (or a massage table, a bondage table, a spanking bench, a comfortable stuffed chair) with giver between receiver’s legs, either standing or sitting in a chair of the appropriate height.
Illustration 12: Missionary
PILE DRIVER: Receiver lies on her/his back, usually on a firm surface like the floor, with nearly entire body below the shoulders pointed upward, and giver standing or squatting for insertion.
 
Because both partners face each other in these positions, it can be easier to communicate, especially nonverbally, plus you can attend to other parts of your partner’s body—suck on her nipples, kiss his neck, nibble her lips. Many people in the receptive position like missionary-style anal penetration because lying on their back either feels more comfortable (except perhaps in the case of Pile Driver) or allows them a sense of surrendering to their partner. In this position, your partner usually cannot provide clitoral or cock stimulation, but you can provide your own with your hand or a vibrator.
ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR:
Pain-Free Position
Q:
My husband and I want to try out anal sex really bad, but my problem is the pain—I know it’s not supposed to hurt, but it does. I keep telling him that missionary position is not the best for our first try. Is there another position you recommend? I really want to give this to him, but I am still very nervous.
 
A:
You admitted being nervous about getting fucked in the ass, which is very common, but my question is: do you really want to do it? I sense some reservation in your letter, and I am concerned that your fear and anxiety may be holding you back. Your desire for this must absolutely be there (not just your husband’s), otherwise it’s not going to work, and it will continue to hurt. You are right that it is not supposed to hurt, and pain can be the result of many things: hesitation on your part; not being relaxed; not enough foreplay and warm-up; not enough lube. You need to take it slow, and have him open your ass with fingers or small toys before he even attempts to put his cock in there. As for positions, if missionary isn’t working for you, trust your instincts. Maybe you should get on top, so you can control the depth of penetration and speed, and you can move your body to get the best angle. Or you could try doggie-style, but make sure he doesn’t thrust all the way inside on the first time around.
Receiver on Top
In the receptive-partner-on-top position, the receiver straddles the giver. For example:
 
ON TOP: Partners face each other, so they can talk and communicate as well as stroke, rub, pinch, and stimulate other parts of each other’s bodies; this position allows the giver easy access to the receiver’s body for clitoral or cock stimulation.
Illustration 13: On Top
REVERSE COWGIRL/COWBOY: This position is identical to On Top, except the partners face the same direction. Depending on the particular curve of the cock or dildo, some receivers prefer this to the original On Top, plus they can stimulate their own genitals. Communication may be tougher in this position, especially if it’s your first time.
Illustration 14: Reverse Cowgirl/Cowboy
When the receiver is on top, she or he can sit straight up, or lean forward or backward to create the perfect angle. Receptive partners can really take the lead in this position and be in charge of the angle and depth of insertion, the amount of movement, and the rhythm of the penetration. Givers who are inexperienced, nervous about how to penetrate their partners anally, or fearful of hurting their partners may find this position most relaxing because the receiver can do much of the decision making and work. The partner on the bottom often likes this position best because you get a great view of your partner and can watch him or her as he or she receives pleasure.
Doggie-Style (From Behind)
The doggie-style position is probably the first one many of us think of when we think about anal sex. This position, with the receptive partner on her/his hands and knees and the insertive partner behind her/him, has a few variations:
 
DOGGIE-STYLE ON ALL FOURS: With receiver on hands and knees, giver kneels behind (if on the bed) or stands behind (if using edge of the bed or other furniture).
 
DOGGIE-STYLE WITH HEAD DOWN: Same as Doggie-Style on All Fours, except receiver’s head and shoulders are down. This angles the body perfectly for the giver to hit the G-spot or the prostate.
 
FLAT FROM BEHIND: The receptive partner is on her or his stomach with knees either bent or straight, the giver lies on top. Although this one may seem awkward on first try, it just takes a little practice. This, too, is a good position for medium or deep penetration because the rectum is in an optimum position for smooth entry.
 
DOGGIE BENT OVER FURNITURE: Receiver is bent over a bed, couch, or table with giver standing behind.
 
Doggie-style positions are good for beginner givers, especially if they are trying to navigate between two holes (the vaginal opening and the anal opening). Penetration from behind is best for deep penetration because
the rectum is in the most straight (not bent) position, so the insertive partner can get good depth that is also comfortable to the receiver. With doggie-style, you can get a great angle to hit her G-spot or his prostate, as well as reach around to stimulate the clitoris, pussy, or cock. Doing it doggie-style also means both partners can have lots of pelvic movement. The insertive partner can do a lot of deep, hard, or fast thrusting; the receptive partner can move back on or ride a cock from this angle. Many people like to have their partner penetrate them from behind for a fast and frenzied kind of fuck. As when the receptive partner is on top, she or he can also be in control of the action if the insertive partner does less of the movement and lets the receiver come to him or her.
BOOK: The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
9.35Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Dark Spies by Matthew Dunn
Gentle Pirate by Castle, Jayne
Slimer by Harry Adam Knight
Closure by Jacob Ross
The Hireling by L. P. Hartley
E.N.D.A.Y.S. by Lee Isserow
The Dragon Lord's Daughters by Bertrice Small
Dangerous by Jacquelyn Frank