The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (22 page)

 

QUOTES

Violet Blue, “Prelude to a Spanking” in
Naughty Spanking Stories From A to Z,
edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Point Reyes, CA: Pretty Things Press, 2004), xii.

Pauline Réage,
Story of O,
translated by Sabine d’Estree (New York: Grove Press, 1965), 83.

As I said in chapter 8, many people love the feeling of fullness you get from having a butt plug in your ass. Some people like to extend that pleasure by wearing a butt plug for a period of time. My friend Susan wears a butt plug on long traveling excursions by car and train; she says it makes the time go faster.

Other people use plugs to warm up for whatever’s coming later, and like to keep them in for a while. I know another woman who likes to wear a butt plug out on a date, in order to begin foreplay over dinner at a restaurant. Through each course of the meal, she is reminded of her ass, and with every shift in her seat, she prepares her ass for bigger things to come.

Some plug lovers wear a butt plug out in public just for the hell of it. Butt plugs may hide in dark places, but they are not shy about going out on the town. Wearing a butt plug under my clothes in public can be naughty, exciting, and make running errands an ecstatic experience. It’s my little secret, one the rest of the world doesn’t know. When the bus hits a pothole or I shift in my seat on the subway, I get a little thrill. The next
time you’re on a really long line at the bank or in a stressful place like Kinko’s, look around. Find the person who appears most serene, with a wide smile on his or her face, and you’ve discovered the one who’s wearing a butt plug.

Wearing a butt plug for an extended period of time in private or out in public can be hot, fun, and sexy , and here are a few tips to make it even better. First, select a plug made of a flexible material, like rubber, jelly, or silicone; if you’re going to have it in for a while, you want it to move with you and be as comfortable as possible. You should work your way up slowly. Use common sense: if you’ve only ever had a plug in for fifteen minutes, don’t try it for four hours. Begin by wearing a butt plug for about twenty minutes; see how it feels, how you like it, what works and what doesn’t. If your twenty-minute excursion goes well, try a half hour next time. Continue building up the amount of time (in reasonable increments) that you wear the plug.

You should be aware of a butt plug, but it should not feel uncomfortable or painful at all. Like anything else you put in your ass, the butt plug should be well-lubricated. You may want to consider taking it out every hour, relubing it and reinserting it. Some of you purists may consider this cheating, (if you’re keeping track of how long you can keep it in) but keep in mind that the lube will be absorbed by your body eventually, and the plug may get uncomfortable. Silicone lubes won’t dry up like water-based ones, but remember you cannot use them with a silicone butt plug.

If you’re going to be wearing a butt plug, you want to make sure it stays put, and there are many different ways to do that. Exploring different methods for keeping it in and creating something to do the job can be sexy activities you can do alone or share with a partner. Things to consider when choosing are: how you want whatever it is to look, how much time and money you want to spend on it, and how secure you want it to be.

The simplest, most affordable way to keep a plug in is to wear a tight-fitting pair of thong underwear. (If you’re worried that all thongs are lacey
and feminine, have no fear: they make men’s thongs too.) They’re easy to get, easy to put on, and, if you’re wearing them out in public, no one will ever know. Depending on how they fit and the base of the plug, there could be some slippage, which is the only downside to this method.

If you’re not content with a simple thong or want something more secure, you can use a butt plug harness. Harnesses come in different styles, and some can be purchased, while others are do-it-yourself. Using a harness tends to be more complicated and costly. Because wearing a harness to secure a butt plug is a form of bondage—whether done to you by you or by another person—let’s first review some basic guidelines for bondage.

Restraining a person or a part of their body can be an incredibly erotic experience. For the top, bondage can be an expression of power and control; for the bottom, bondage may symbolize their submission and surrender. When it comes to genital bondage or butt bondage (using a harness to keep a butt plug in the ass), it can be especially intimate.

In addition to the physical sensations of having rope or another material rubbing up against your genitals, there can be deep psychological components for the bottom: you may feel particularly submissive since such an intimate part of your body—the ass—has been stuffed and made off limits to others. Someone has tied up your private parts, and that person is the only one who can set them free. For the top, bondage can be symbolic of ownership of the bottom’s ass: no one can get near it because you’ve blocked the entry. You may require the bottom to ask permission to go to the bathroom. However you structure the scene and the dynamic, here are some important guidelines for genital bondage:

When you’re working on binding the backside, it’s also going to involve the genitals, so make sure important parts—balls, urethra, clitoris, pussy—are not constricted.

Communicate with the bottom, monitor his or her breathing, body language, and circulation. If you put a bottom in bondage then send him off on errands, only do so with an experienced bondage bottom. Bondage of any kind can produce intense physical and emotional reactions, and you don’t want your bottom to fall or faint without you there.

Bondage should feel snug and secure but should never be tight or constricting; it should never cut off the circulation. If you can’t slip two fingers comfortably between the bondage and the person’s skin, it’s too tight.

As with any form of bondage, if you’re going to bind a part of someone’s genital area, make sure there is a fail-safe way to get out of the bondage quickly in case of an emergency, even if that means destroying the harness. Have safety scissors nearby to cut tape or rope off.

Bondage tape is a unique invention that can be used for all your bondage needs, including creating a harness to keep a butt plug in. It’s relatively inexpensive and available at sex toy stores and websites. Made of shiny PVC, bondage tape comes in different colors and one roll contains more than 60 feet of tape. It adheres to itself, but won’t stick to anything else, like delicate skin, hair, or furniture. Because it is exactly like tape (except it’s not sticky), you don’t need a lot of skill to use it. It doesn’t always give a perfect snug fit and can shift around, especially when used in the genital area. If you plan to remove the plug with it on, it may be tricky to put back in. Depending on the fit, this harness may not be ideal if you’re going to be doing a lot of physical activity or going out in public.

This harness is made of one continuous piece of tape; you do not need to cut the bondage tape until the very last step. Make sure you already have a well-lubed butt plug in the person’s ass before you begin unrolling the tape. The tape may not lie completely flat against a person’s skin; it may bunch. That’s normal and not a problem as long as it’s not uncomfortable.

Start by holding the end of the tape on the hip bone, then wrap the roll completely around the waist once. Go past the beginning piece and stop directly over the tailbone (or just above the asscrack).

Duck the roll of tape behind the waist piece by going over the top of it, then unroll the tape straight down between the legs.

Pull the tape up between the legs in the front of the body just to the left of the pussy or cock.

Continue straight up to the front waist piece and duck the roll behind it by going over the top of it once. Unroll the tape back down between the legs following the same path the tape came from.

Duck the roll of tape behind the waist piece in back by going over the top of it.

Bring the roll straight back down between the legs, then pull the tape up between the legs in the front of the body just to the right of the pussy or cock.

Continue straight up to the front waist piece and duck the roll behind it by going over the top of it once. Unroll the tape back down between the legs following the same path the tape came from.

When you bring it back up to the waist piece in the back, before you loop it back behind you can cut it, leaving about 6 extra inches.

Take the end piece and loop it around the waist piece two times, then tuck it away.

Although bondage tape is reusable, because you’ve used it on and around genitals, I recommend you cut it off and throw it away.

For all you rope bondage enthusiasts, putting a genital rope harness on a partner not only will keep a butt plug in his or her ass, but will give you a chance to get creative with designs and knots. If you’re going to parade your bottom around at a party, you can use nylon, cotton, or hemp rope according to your taste; nylon rope is probably the most popular since it’s readily available, inexpensive, and comes in many colors. Provided it’s done well, a rope harness is more secure than one made of bondage tape, but it obviously takes more skill and time to put on. A rope harness can be worn underneath clothing, although if you want to completely conceal it, it takes some more creative dressing to make sure the texture of the rope and any knots aren’t visible.

One of the wonderful things about a rope harness is that when the person wearing it moves, the rope rubs against both the plug in his or her ass and the genitals; not only is a rope harness functional, it can also be very arousing. If you use rope, make sure it’s not too tight and that it’s soft rope that doesn’t chafe or burn. Don’t make complicated knots that are not easy to remove in case you have to undo them a hurry.

There are many different variations of a genital rope harness, and what follows is simply one style.
¹
In this harness, the actual length of the rope will depend on the size of the body but you will most likely need 15 feet or more. Make sure you already have a well-lubed butt plug in the person’s ass before you begin the rope harness.

Start by folding your piece of rope in half. Hold the end that is folded on the stomach just below the belly button.

Wrap the tails around the body, bringing them back around to meet the folded end in front of the body.

Tuck the tails through the loop of the folded end and pull all the way through so the waist piece is now tight.

Tie a simple hitch by tucking the tail ends up behind the waist piece and then back down through itself (this should now enable the waist piece to remain in place hands-free).

Bring the tail ends down between the legs making sure that one piece is on either side of the cock or pussy .

Bring the rope directly up between the buttcheeks so that it presses firmly against the base of the butt plug. Loop the tail ends behind the waist piece in back once.

Take the tail piece on the left side and pull it around your waist to the right.

Take the tail piece from the right side and pull it around your waist to the left.

Bring both tail pieces back to the front of the body.

In the front of the body, loop each piece around the rope that runs between the legs and pull the tails tightly. (This will help to both tighten the harness and keep the genital area fully exposed.)