Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment (9 page)

Once she has experienced the above, orgasm will have an entirely new dimension of experience for her.

Now it is time to have her experience this in intercourse.

The next night, when in the bedroom, get her naked on the bed and take your time with foreplay to get her aroused and feeling very close to you.

Then initiate intercourse in the missionary position, but this time take it slow. Make your strokes slower. Build up the arousal slowly. Concentrate on her pleasure and titillating her with pleasure while not thinking about your own conquest to drive for the orgasm. The idea is to extend heightened arousal.

Do not think about the pleasure you are feeling in your penis, but instead focus your thinking on the “energy” you are feeling in your stomach and chest. This is a mind exercise to divert your awareness. You basically do to yourself what you did to your woman’s awareness in the previous exercise.

When you and her begin to get close, slow things down and maintain that heightened arousal. Extend this for as long as possible.

If you or her get too close, and “going over the edge” seems eminent, slow the stroking WAY down.

After you and her have recovered, start the stroking slowly again.

After you do this a number of times, an interesting phenomenon will begin. You and her will feel a vulnerability for each other like never before. You and her will feel a closeness like never before. And time itself will begin to have no meaning.

This is the threshold of the “Nirvana” of sexuality that is possible in Tantra. See the
Key West Institute for Tantra Studies
.

All women are multi orgasmic, some just don’t know it yet. Women secrete prolactin at the time of orgasm, just like men do,

but the hormone does not cause any refractory symptoms in a woman. There is no chemical or biological constraint on the number of orgasms a woman can have.

But most women have only one orgasm when they masturbate, and certainly all the men she has been with have had only one orgasm. So most women never really think to go beyond that.

In fact, many women have a self limiting belief that they can have only one orgasm.

But actually, every woman is capable of multiple orgasms. And interestingly, each orgasm a woman has is actually more powerful than the one before.

In order to give a woman her first multiple orgasm, you must distract her from her own self limiting beliefs, by giving her a different task to concentrate on. Your goal, and your little secret, is to give her multiple orgasms.

This is assuming that your woman is vaginally orgasmic. If she is not yet vaginally orgasmic, go work on that, and then come back to this task.

To make her multi-orgasmic, you will first give her a clitoral orgasm and then a vaginal orgasm.

The clitoral orgasm goes first because after a woman has an orgasm, her clitoris is usually so sensitive that it cannot be touched. That is the same for the tip of your penis. And that is no surprise, knowing that the clitoris and penis are corresponding tissue between the two genders.

The vaginal orgasm goes second because the vagina does not have the same over sensitive issue that the clitoris has.

Set up the entire evening as one that is devoted to taking the time for pleasuring her in ways that you choose to do. Explain to her that you simply want to pleasure her in various ways, as nothing more than

your expression of savoring the beautiful feminine woman that you adore about her.

So, first give her a clitoral orgasm, using whatever technique she happens to most prefer.

After she experiences her clitoral orgasm, she is going to want you to make love to her, even though she does not expect to have another orgasm. Instead, simply remind her that you simply want to pleasure her in various ways, as nothing more than your expression of savoring the beautiful feminine woman that you adore about her.

Now use the techniques from the chapter “Give Her Her First Orgasm” to now give her a deep spot induced vaginal orgasm. Distract her from her own self limiting beliefs with the task of surrendering to you, and bring her to your goal of her having another orgasm.

Once she experiences a second orgasm in one evening, her own self limiting belief is shattered, and it will be very easy and natural to give her multiple orgasms for then on.

As I discussed earlier, there are many similarities between male and female sexual anatomy. Some of which make no contribution to procreation. One example is that men have nipples. Another is that women ejaculate.

Just as the male has a prostate gland, the female has paraurethral Skene glands.

Embryologically, the urethral glands of the female are homologous to the male prostatic glands (just like the ovaries and the testes are from the same embryonic tissue.) These paraurethral glands (on either side of the urethra) are known as the Skene glands (Alexander Skene, MD, 1880.) The Skene glands make up the G spot on the front of the vagina.

Diagram of female bladder and Skene glands

During sexual arousal, the Skene glands secrete a clear fluid, much like water, having a chemical makeup similar to the transport medium in male ejaculate. There is no urine in female ejaculate.

During sexual arousal, a sphincter muscle where the bladder attaches to the urethra tightens up so that no urine can leave the bladder.

At the time of orgasm, the Skene glands expel the ejaculate down the urethra and out of the body, and thus female ejaculation, simply a leftover from the similarities between men and women.

But for most women, just before an orgasm, the woman feels the urge to urinate. This is actually the female ejaculate building up in the Skene glands. But most women think they are going to pee. Thus, they tighten up their PC muscle, just as they would to stop a stream of urine. And then when they have their orgasm, the PC muscle is so tightened up, that the ejaculate cannot be expelled down the urethra, so it is forced up the urethra into the bladder. This is why many women feel that they have to pee after having sex. It is because the ejaculate has been forced into the bladder.

For a woman to ejaculate, the woman pushes at the time of orgasm, as if to defecate, and a clear fluid is expelled out the urethra. This fluid has been described as colorless, clear, or milky. It has never been described as yellow. The taste varies from tangy, sour, tart, to very sweet. Some women always ejaculate, others sometimes. The majority of women who regularly ejaculate do so in response to G spot manipulation. Some can in intercourse, and some can with only clitoral stimulation.

But most women do not ejaculate because they have trained their body not to “pee” at the time of orgasm.

If your woman tells you that after every time you two make love, she has to go pee, then say to her: “Well Baby, that is because you have been withholding your ejaculate.” She will probably laugh and refuse to believe it.

Explain to your woman that female ejaculation is normal and natural. Read to her the book called “The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality” by Ladas, Whipple, and Perry.

Copyright 1982. ISBN 0-440-13040-9. The book is a highly respected explanation of female ejaculation.

You can also show her the video called “Squirters 2.” It is by a pornographer named Seymore Butts. Sure, it is a porn video, but it will show you what is possible, and how far some women can squirt.

The biggest obstacle to get over is her self consciousness that she will urinate. It is very important that you have her understand that it is not urine, but that it is female ejaculate, and that female ejaculation is completely normal and natural.

The motivation you give her is that it would be very exciting for you if she were to soak your bed! She will be concerned about getting the bed all wet, but you must reassure her that it would be very exciting for you. This is not about you accomplishing some feat, but about her expressing her sexuality in a completely natural way.

In order that you cause her to ejaculate, you must command respect with her. You will be giving her commands to do something that for her seems very strange. Thus, her respect for what you say must override her own self consciousness and self limiting beliefs.

Ask your woman: “When you get close, do you feel the urge to urinate?" If she says: “Yes, so I hold it in.” Then say to her: “You are holding in your ejaculate. Next time go with the feeling and push it out.” If she says: “But I don't want to pee on you!” Then you say: “It only feels like you are going to pee. But you won't pee, you will ejaculate.”

As always, assure her that everything is natural and normal, and nothing is embarrassing.

Now for the first step in getting her to squirt.

Before you begin, tell her to go empty her bladder. This will help to reduce her fears that she will pee on you.

Then get her comfortable on the bed. You will use stimulation of her deep spot. Do not do this in intercourse yet. First do this when you digitally stimulate her (with your fingers.) You have to be able to talk to her and lead her.

Some would say to use stimulation of her G spot. My experience has been that women have responded more powerfully to deep spot stimulation, but if your woman responds well to G spot stimulation, use that.

She must follow your commands without embarrassment. Massage the front of her deep spot, and say: “You are going to feel an increasing urge to pee. The closer you get, the more you will feel the need to pee. But it is not pee, it is ejaculate. It is not your bladder, it is your Skene glands. You will welcome this feeling, and you will push it out. If any thought tries to stop it, you will instantly stand in front of that thought, and you will push it out. The more you push it out, the stronger your orgasm will be.”

Continue massaging the front of her deep spot. Continue talking her through it. When she gets really close, command her to push it out.

The pushing part is critical. It must be there. Without it, it won’t happen.

If she follows your commands, she will not clamp down on her PC muscles, but instead she will relax her PC muscles and she will push. At the time of orgasm, her PC muscles will not be clamped down, but instead will involuntarily contract and relax. This allows the ejaculate to go out, and in fact, can be propelled at great speeds.

If she follows your commands, she may ejaculate, though the first time it may be a very small amount. If it is a very small amount, it may be a white liquid that just drips out of her urethra. If it is more, it may be a clear liquid like warm water. It could pump a few times, like squeezing the trigger on a water gun a few times.

Reward her for following your commands by holding her closely and sharing emotional intimacy with her. Then touch your finger onto her ejaculate and touch it to your tongue and say: “See, it is female ejaculate!” This demonstrates that you welcome her ejaculate.

Ask her if she has to pee now, like she usually does after sex. If she really did follow your commands to push it out, she will not have to pee.

Ask her if the orgasm was different. If she really did follow your commands to push it out, she will have probably noticed the feeling of her ejaculate pulsing out of her urethra.

That’s enough for the first night. Cap things off with some close love making and emotional intimacy.

Now for the next step. Have her build up her PC muscles. The PC muscles are the pelvic floor muscles that connect from the pubic bone to the tail bone.

You know those muscles as the muscles you contract to stop a steam of urine midstream. She also knows them as that, but she also knows them as the muscles she can contract to clamp her vagina down on your penis.

The PC muscles are strengthened by doing Kegel exercises. Strong healthy PC muscles are synonymous with a healthy vibrant sex life.

See the chapter near the end of this program called “Kegel exercises” for details on performing them. After just two weeks there will be a noticeable improvement.

Diagram of PC muscles