Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment (7 page)

There has always been great debate as to where the G spot is. Many have asked if it even exists. It most certainly does. But most people do not elicit a response from it for any of a number of reasons. Maybe the trust is not there. Maybe the man does not command respect. Maybe she has a mental block against having a vaginal orgasm. On and on.

For women who respond very well to G spot stimulation, they know exactly where it is. They usually have a favorite sexual position so that their man’s penis can hit their G spot just right.

The generally suggested way to stimulate the G spot is to use your index and middle finger. Go in to about the second joint. Press against the front wall of the vagina. Pump towards the front.

If a woman has had G spot orgasms before, she will have a very specific way for the spot to be stimulated. For women who have not, it is important to gauge her response to various stimulation methods.

G spot stimulation is generally considered the most recommended way to stimulate a woman to ejaculate. More about female ejaculation later.

At its greatest depth, the inner diameter of the vagina increases.

This area is no longer spongy, but instead smooth.

This area is called the “cavity of the cervix.” This area is shaped like the underside of a Frisbee, with the cervix in the center pointing downward. The outer edge of the Frisbee defines the deepest points of the wall of the vagina.

The deep spot is about 3 ½” to 4” inside.

Have her lie on her back and hold her legs open with her knees bent. You sit to the side of her legs with the front of your body facing towards her head. Lubricate your hands well with Astroglide.

Finger nails must be highly polished and very short.

With your palm up, slide your middle finger into her vagina, along the front wall of her vagina, as far as possible. (Don’t worry, your finger is long enough if you press hard enough against her.)

Curl the tip of your finger in a “come hither” manner, while pressing hard against the front wall of the vagina.

When you massage the deep spot, do it firmly.

Imagine the way you hold a Frisbee. Your fingertips touch the inside edge of the Frisbee. Curl the tip of your finger down the inside edge of the Frisbee in a “come hither” manner.

Make sure your hand is well lubricated and press hard against her to get your fingertip all the way in.

The cervix will feel like the tip of a nose. Do NOT press against her cervix. To some women that is a very unpleasant feeling. There is a small percentage who like it.

Because the uterus is slightly tilted towards the front, the cavity of the cervix is also slightly tilted. The Frisbee is lower in the front and higher in the back. The entire inside edge of the Frisbee, all the way around, is sensitive.

Another variation to this is to go in along the back wall of her vagina. Go in as deep as possible. Along the back it is deeper because the Frisbee is tilted. Curl the tip of your finger as if to press hard against her tail bone. Repeat. To her it will feel as if she is getting butt fucked. Some women find this very exciting and will experience a very powerful orgasm.

The deep spot has one important benefit over the clitoris. The problem with the clitoris is that after a few seconds of an orgasm, it becomes so painfully sensitive that it cannot be further stimulated. The deep spot does not have this problem. The deep spot is one way to give a woman a very sustained orgasm.

Another alternative to this is to let her lie face up. Use two fingers, your index finger and your middle finger. Keep the tips of your two

fingers about an inch apart as you rub firmly against the front of her deep spot.

I did some research and found that Chee Ann Chua, a Malaysian marriage counselor, published a paper called the “a-spot” in 1997 in “The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.”

The text basically says: “The Anterior Fornix of the vagina is located on the front wall of the vagina just below the cervix. It is about 3/4 of an inch to 1 1/2 inches long. Its borders are not well defined. The texture is smooth, unlike the G-Spot. If you place the tip of your finger over the cervix, and move it down a bit, staying on the front wall, your fingertip will be on the anterior fornix. Stimulate in a circular motion. If you move down too far, you will feel the texture change. That will mean that your finger tip is no longer in the right place.”

This is the front of “the deep spot.” But, as I said above, the deep spot is sensitive all the way around, and, it should be stroked by bending the tip of the finger in a “come hither” fashion while at the same time pulling down. And do it firmly.

Here is a question from a reader:

I used the "deep spot" finger method on my girlfriend just like you said and she got multiple orgasms within 20 minutes and they lasted for another

20 minutes. Cool!

One question though; she had pain the next day or two. Any Thoughts?

She felt some pain the next day or two probably because she had never had that done to her before, and maybe because you did it too firmly for too long.

But when a couple finds a new toy that works REALLY well, they tend to play with it a lot.

You won't need to do it as firmly in the future since she is now very responsive to your touch and she'll become more accustomed to it.

Have fun! (and NEVER do anything that causes injury.)

Many men have written me and told me that they had discovered the deep spot in their own exploration in the past. So when they read about it, they totally agree.

I have read your posts, and they have helped me enormously. I "discovered" the deep spot myself on a woman about 3 years ago, but your information has made me much more sensitive and skilled at it! My new girlfriend also loves when I massage her deep spot.

It works very well in causing a very powerful vaginal orgasm.

Many women find stimulation of the cervix to be irritating, especially when impaled by a penis during intercourse. That is a common complaint of women who are with an especially well endowed man.

But a few women love it. In fact, a select few women love getting their cervix pummeled during intercourse. This is most unusual, but it is true for a select few women.

I had a unique situation with one woman that I was dating. Interestingly, she did not respond as powerfully to G spot or deep spot stimulation as other women. This does rarely happen.

So one night, I simply stuck my middle finger straight in as far as I could and I rubbed her cervix with the tip of my finger. She responded very powerfully to this. I continued rubbing my finger in a circular motion around the tip of her cervix and she had a powerful orgasm.

Reaching the cervix with your middle finger is a very tough job. It requires great determination, but it is worth it in the cases of some women.

This is the same woman who LOVED it when I used just the tip of my middle finger to rapidly go in and out of the opening of her vagina. A penetration of only an inch or two. It served to give her a very powerful orgasm.

By now you have probably noticed that we have covered just about every square millimeter of female sexual anatomy. That is pretty much the case. The secret is that you experiment with your woman to find what works best for her.

Some spots are more universally responsive than others, and some spots work better on some women than others.

As you will find in "David Shade's Manual," most any spot on a woman's body can be used to give her an orgasm, including her nipples and her lips.

You may also find that your woman's preferences and responses vary over time. This is normal, and actually a good thing. It means that you are learning more about her, and she is becoming increasingly responsive to you.

So let’s say you are dating a woman who has never had an orgasm. What are you going to do?

You can’t rely on intercourse. All the guys before you have tried that.

You can’t rely on licking her clit. All the guys before you have tried that.

And you can’t rely on rubbing her G spot. At least some of the guys before you have tried that.

You are going to be different in 2 ways:

1. You are going to perform a different type of stimulation
   

2. You are going to use effective mental techniques
   

The reason why you have to perform a different type of stimulation is because all the previous stimulation that she has felt has been associated with her NOT having an orgasm. You must AVOID that.

You will use deep spot stimulation. It happens to be very effective in giving a woman her first vaginal orgasm, and most likely no man has ever done that to her before.

And now for the critically important mental techniques.

Remember, in order that you cause her to orgasm, you must command respect with her. You will be giving her commands, and she must do them for this to be successful. Thus, her respect for what you say must override her own self consciousness and self limiting beliefs.

The biggest thing keeping her from having an orgasm is her belief that she can’t.

If you were to insist to her that she could have an orgasm, she will simply disagree, which will build up her resistance to having an orgasm.

If you make orgasm the goal for her, she will have performance anxiety, which will make it even more difficult for her to have an orgasm.

So in order that you do not stir up her objections to having an orgasm:

Your goal of giving her an orgasm is your little secret. But how are you going to give her an orgasm without actually mentioning anything about orgasms?

You will say to her: “Baby, I just want to give you pleasure. It excites me when you feel this pleasure that I give you.”

Women love it when they excite their man. Women love it when their man just wants to give her pleasure for no other reason than to revel in her and please her.

So she will be relaxed and receptive.

Even though a woman has not had an orgasm, she still likes sex. She likes the intimacy. It is the physical celebration of the attraction and of the emotional connection. And women love to see their man get sexually excited over her.

Even though she knows she is not going to have an orgasm, she still likes to have her clitoris rubbed and licked by her man. It feels good, and it makes her feel that she is desired.

Even though she knows she is not going to have an orgasm in intercourse, she still likes it when her man makes love to her. For her, it is the ultimate physical celebration of the relationship. And it is affirmation for her that her man is excited about her.

So you certainly have the opportunity.

Start the stimulation. But you have to give her some incentive to soak up as much pleasure input as possible. You will use emotional intimacy.

Women are emotional creatures. Women love nothing more than being emotionally close to her man.