Wrestling With Love (13 page)

“Eew! No thank you. That’s just gross.”

Derek laughed again. “Listen, I didn’t actually call to tell you about how my mom set the groundwork for five years’ worth of therapy. She’s throwing a party on Friday for Scott and me to celebrate going to college and wanted me to invite you. I’d love it if you could come.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place?” Beck voice took on an aggravated tone.

“I just did.” Derek rolled his eyes. Does she even realize how fast she flips her moods?

“Sure. I’ll be there on Friday. By the way, how was your trip to New York? I talked to Uncle Josh and he said he thought you and Scott were great and that you could visit anytime you like.” Her voice had shifted once again, now chipper. Derek smiled to himself. She’s fuckin’ nuts, but I love the hell out of that girl. He then started telling Beck about his trip to New York, this time not leaving out any details as he had with his mother.

* * * * *

On Friday, everyone showed up at Derek’s house around one o’clock. They were going to have a barbeque and there was ice cream and cake. Derek, Scott, and Beck lounged around on the porch as Claire and Shannon chatted in the kitchen. Henry, Derek’s father, was by the grill with Scott’s father. When he had finished, he called everyone to the picnic table in the back yard. As Derek approached, he noticed a weary expression on his father’s face. His mother walked over and whispered in his ear. When he whispered back, she glared at Scott’s father with an agitated expression on her face, then recomposed herself.

The conversation during lunch was pleasant enough, and when it was time for the cake, Claire and Shannon brought out a huge pan cake which had Derek, Scott, and Beck’s names on it and three sparklers spraying embers in every direction and dotting the frosted surface with flecks of black.

Just before the party broke up, Claire approached Derek and Scott. “Could I talk to you boys for a moment?” They followed her into the house and into the living room. Derek’s heart pounded inside his chest and a cold sheen of sweat broke out on his skin. Please don’t have a conversation with both of us about sex. Please!

Claire turned once they were all in the living room and faced them. “Please, sit down.” She looked at both boys as she settled into a chair facing the couch where they were sitting. Crossing her legs, she placed her hands on her lap. “I won’t embarrass you by speaking at length here, but you’re both beginning college tomorrow and I want to let you know how proud I am of you. Derek, you’ve grown up so much and have become so brave.”

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She then turned to Scott. “I may be out of line speaking to you about this, but I have come to consider you like a part of this family and I speak my mind with my family. Scott, you make my son happy and treat him the way any parent would want their child to be treated. I know neither of you want to talk about your…relationship with me, but I want to let you know I approve. You are always welcome here and can call me for anything you need.”

The cold sweat on Derek’s neck turned to droplets which began to trickle down his back as a freezing wave passed through him and settled in his chest. What in the hell are you doing? If his mother noticed his discomfort, she didn’t show it or stop what she was saying. “Scott, Derek has told me how you aren’t comfortable about being open with your sexuality yet, but I want to let you know, when you choose to tell your mother, she will be receptive and a great ally for you.”

Scott took in a short breath and Derek turned to face him, noticing his bronzed summer tan had become a shade paler. “Does she know about me?”

“No. I don’t think she suspects and I haven’t said anything. Nor will I.” Scott visibly relaxed. “But, I am going to give you the same advice I gave Derek last weekend. I want you to seriously consider talking to your mom. As you know, your mom and I have become close friends. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that she loves you unconditionally. There is nothing you could say or do to change that. Nothing. When you do choose to talk to her, she’s going to be okay with it. She loves you and she’ll still love you afterwards. I think the fact you’re with Derek will make it easier for her. I know it made me feel better knowing Derek had you.” Despite his mortification, Derek couldn’t deny the warmth that replaced the chill from a few moments earlier. Scott remained silent, not moving as the seconds ticked by, each one feeling like hours. When he spoke, Derek exhaled, releasing the breath and tension he hadn’t been aware he was holding in. “Thank you, Claire. I’m completely comfortable with Derek, but there’s a big part of me that feels like something bad will happen if I let people know about me and about us. I understand why Derek came out to you and I’ve seen how much better his life has become. I’m growing comfortable with the idea of you knowing about us. But, coming out to my parents, my mom, is a process that will take me longer than it took Derek.”

Listening to Scott, it saddened Derek to observe how challenging it was for him to talk about being gay. It made no sense since he was so at ease when the two of them were alone or with Beck, and he had been amazing in New York. The fact that he was talking so easily with his mother was a step in the right direction. It gave him hope Scott would eventually come around and live as openly as Derek wanted him to. Claire looked at Scott and smiled. “Derek said you were insightful and expressive. I now see what he was talking about. Of course you must do what feels right to you and in your own time. I simply want you to know you can talk to me and I truly believe you can talk to your mother as well.” She stood up, an air of finality to her movement.

“Come here, both of you.” They walked over to her and she gave them each a hug. “We 64

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better get back to the party before every one wonders what I’ve done with the two of you.”

Derek wanted to remain in the house with Scott for a minute to make sure he was okay after his mother’s speech. “We’ll be out in a minute, Mom. Thanks for the party. It was really nice of you.”

His mother nodded and walked out to the back yard. Once he heard the door click shut, he turned to face Scott. “Are you okay?”

Scott sat back down on the couch. “I think so. It makes me feel weird knowing your mom knows about us, but she’s so sweet and understanding that it’s hard to be too uncomfortable. Besides, you told her about us so long ago I should be used to it by now.”

Derek felt a little bit better. “She wants me to come out to my dad and for me to tell him about us. I didn’t tell you before because I was afraid it would freak you out and I haven’t planned when I’m going to have that conversation with him, but I’m gonna have to sometime soon.”

“You’re telling your dad? Derek, I don’t know. What if he flips out?” Scott was clearly anxious about this idea and once again, Derek sat quietly, wondering why it was so hard for him to deal with coming out. No one had reacted badly so far. Quite the opposite, everyone had reacted with compassion and acceptance.

“I told her I would think about it, but she made a good point. We’re a family and families shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.” Derek sat next to Scott, but didn’t make contact with him, giving him some space to react and process what he was saying.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel like you’re part of my family and I want my mom and dad to both know who you are to me…who you really are to me.”

“Please, Derek. Please let’s take this thing slowly. Let’s talk it through before we tell people, especially family. I love you and you make me so happy, but I’m not ready to be public as a couple. I know, our trip to New York doesn’t match what I’m saying, but there was no risk there. Here and at school we know people and will see them all the time. If they don’t react well, it could make life difficult for both of us.” Scott looked at Derek with pleading eyes. “Does that upset you?”

Derek thought about Scott’s question for a second. “I’m not thrilled about it, but you were right in what you said to my mom. It will take you longer than it took me to open up about who you are and who we are. There are going to be times when I want to tell someone and you don’t want me to. We’re going to have to figure out how to handle that when it happens.”

“That’s fair.” Scott put an arm around Derek. “Thank you for understanding. I want to make you happy and I don’t want to be someone who holds you back. But we’re a team and need to compromise to make sure we’re moving in a direction that we can both live with.” He ran a finger along Derek’s jaw. “Hey, you okay?”

Derek turned to Scott and tenderness filled him. He wanted to do whatever he could to ease the process for him. “Yeah, I’m good.”

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Scott pulled Derek close and hugged him tight. “Just think, tomorrow, we’re going to start college life and we’ll be living together. I’ve been thinking about it all week; ever since we got back from New York. I’ve especially been thinking about what our first night together will be like.” He kissed Derek gently on the lips. The soft warmth of his breath surrounded Derek. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply, a sweetness mixing with the rustic aroma of Scott filling his head. The kiss remained chaste, but was filled with Scott’s gentle romance and love. After a moment, Scott pulled away from him, a cool sensation replacing the heat from where their lips had been touching. Opening his eyes, Derek was surprised to see a hint of mischief in Scott’s eyes. “Just don’t beat off before tomorrow night.”

Derek looked at Scott, not understanding why he would make such a request. As if a light switched on in his mind, an image of the two of them alone in their dorm room formed. As it did, he felt a wide smile cross his face. “It’s a deal.”

With that, they got up and returned to the party. Derek wasn’t entirely sure whether their conversation had gone well. The fact remained that Scott didn’t want him to come out to his dad. But at least they were communicating. Josh had said that was the key. Derek hoped he was right.

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Chapter Six

The next morning, Derek hopped out of bed, having barely gotten any sleep during the night. He had packed most of what he needed the night before into his car and had to pack additional things into his father’s car to keep the move down to one trip. Boston University was a city school, spanning for many blocks along one of the major streets, Commonwealth Avenue. While there were dormitories and quads, the school did not have the same kind of encapsulated feel as most college campuses. That was one of the draws of the campus, but it was also one of its weaknesses. Being so spread out and located in an impersonal environment made it more difficult to create a campus spirit. Still, there were quads, academic buildings, a student center, and other locations which helped to create a social environment for the students. All freshmen had been invited to spend two days at the school before the rest of the student body returned. Derek had hoped to be able to go to orientation with Scott, but with two car’s worth of things, he and his father had to follow one another. Scott was going with his parents.

As Derek and his father prepared to leave, his mother stood in the living room, looking lost. “I can’t believe you’re leaving.” Tears were streaming down her face. “I know this is a good thing and I am happy, but if I could keep you here with me forever I would.”

Derek felt a lump form in his throat. He walked over to his mother and gave her a hug. “Come on, Mom. Don’t cry or you’re going to make me start crying.” Gathering control of herself, she hugged Derek back. After about a minute, Derek wondered whether she was going to let him go. “Uh, Mom. I need to get going now.” She didn’t release her grip.

Looking over his mother’s shoulder, Derek shot a pleading look to his father. Henry walked over and placed a soothing arm around Claire’s shoulders. In a playful, but soft tone, he coaxed Claire off Derek. “Honey, let him go. That’s it. You’re doing it. Very good.”

His mother shot his father a dangerous glare. “If you think you’re being funny, you’re not.”

Laughing, his father pecked Claire on the cheek. “Aw c’mon, Sweetie. That was a little funny.”

Managing a weak semblance of cheerfulness, she released her hold on Derek.

“Please be careful, and make sure you call me if you need anything.”

“I will, Mom. I promise. And I’m not going to be that far away. I’ll come home all the time.” Derek wasn’t sure his promise was entirely true, but it did seem to make his mother feel better. A few minutes later, they were driving into Boston, heading to the university.

The college campus was teaming with students and their families. Luckily, there was ample parking since it was only the freshman class registering. Students were to 67

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report to the Student Center to receive their orientation packets and would then have the better part of the morning to bring their things to their dorm rooms before the official orientation activities began. As Derek and his father walked to the Student Center, Henry looked around at the faces of students and their parents. “Son, this is going to be an amazing experience. You’re going to meet people from all over the country and from around the world. You’ll have the chance to take courses taught by professors who spend their lives engrossed in their work. Enjoy it. Don’t let the years pass by without appreciating that you’re here.”