Wrestling With Love (23 page)

Derek ignored the automatic reaction to wonder if this was the time Scott would finally take the initiative for the two of them to have sex and stuck out his tongue instead. He then bent over to pick up the jeans lying next to his feet. Scott gave him a sharp slap on his ass, then went back to his desk to work on a paper. Slipping on his jeans, he decided to go for a neutral look and threw on a white t-shirt and Converse sneakers.

“All right. I guess I’m ready.” He turned to face Scott. “I assume asking you to come with me is pointless.” Scott had gone to his desk and didn’t even look up from his work. “Right. I’ll be back after the meeting.” He opened the door and started to head out when Scott called after him.

Turning, Derek was surprised to find Scott standing next to him at the open door.

“Have fun tonight.” He pulled Derek into a hug and kissed him on the lips. Heat crept along Derek’s skin, causing it to tingle along his arms, back, and neck. He smiled, then turned to head out and felt a sharp slap on his ass once again. A short squeal escaped his lips as he headed down the hallway. The last thing he heard before stepping into the stairwell was Scott’s light laughter.

When he arrived at the Arts Center, there were signs which directed students to the second floor conference room where The Alliance meeting would be taking place. When Derek arrived at the room, it was already a crowd of about fifty people. Taking a seat on the outskirts of the room, Derek looked around to observe the people at the meeting. Most of them were chatting in groups of two or three. He saw Phillip, Oscar and Charlotte who waved at him.

Looking around the room, he saw the only other person who he recognized, Tyrell, who skipped toward him, his excitement barely contained. “Well, well. Look who’s here.” Derek summoned up his energy and mustered a smile. “I’m surprised it’s taken so long for us to get together, especially after our last conversation, but I guess it’s serendipity that we should see each other here at a meeting of the LGBT Alliance.”

Derek hadn’t known what to expect, but he certainly wasn’t expecting he would have to take any crap. “I thought the group was called The Alliance, not the LGBT

Alliance.” Before Tyrell could respond, the meeting was called to order. The president was a senior named Jared Peters. He stood at the front of the room and waited for conversations to settle down. His demeanor was quiet and understated. Just watching him elicited a sense of calm. Once everyone was paying attention, Jared began the meeting. “Welcome to the second meeting of The Alliance for this school 110

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

year. I’m very happy to see more people who have decided to come tonight. Before we begin, I’d like to talk about my goals for this year. Along with some of our standard activities such as the food drive for the homeless center in East Boston, we’re also looking for people who would like to join up in the Big Brother-Big Sister program of Boston. Unfortunately, we can’t allow freshman to join that particular program since the university has a rule that you have to establish a 2.0 GPA for two consecutive semesters before you can volunteer for activities as part of a school sanctioned group, but, there will be plenty of other opportunities for all members to participate in fundraising and awareness activities.”

Derek was impressed by the rule. It made sense to ensure students were taking their studies seriously before allowing them to participate in activities outside of their academic lives. He returned his attention to Jared. He was average looking, not muscular, but not pudgy either, brown hair, skin with a moderate tone and an occasional blemish. His features were unremarkable. It was his presence and his voice that caused him to stand out. He stood with unassuming confidence and his voice hummed like a brand new car engine. Soothing and clear. “My biggest goal for this year is something that’s been close to my heart ever since I began at BU. I’ve always noticed, with a bit of sadness, how segregated the various communities are. People seem to fall into their cliques and rarely break out of them.

My goal for The Alliance is to engage in public relations activities and events which show the campus body that we, as the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender members of BU, are as diverse and well-rounded as any other community. I’m hoping to promote social events which encourage members from all sectors of our student body to come together and enjoy each other, free from ridicule or judgment. Although this is a tall order, I believe the students of BU are able to step outside of the safety zones of their established groups of friends and socialize with people who are different from them.”

Most of the group cheered, although there was some grumbling and a few students rolled their eyes.

The more Derek listened to Jared, the more he liked him. Tyrell was sitting uncomfortably close to him, his shoulder and arm pressed up against Derek’s. Every once in a while, he would lean in and whisper something in his ear, but Derek managed to tune him out and focus on what Jared was saying.

All through high school, he had tried to be friendly with all of the different crowds. Beck was in the drama crowd, he was in the athletic crowd, but he also knew everyone else as a result of his mixing. The segregation of groups on campus seemed to be a trend other people noticed as well, one Derek didn’t like. He completely agreed with Jared’s goals and wanted to do anything he could to support the vision.

“Can you believe that crap?” The voice surprised him. He had been so engrossed in what Jared was saying that he forgot Tyrell was sitting next to him.

“Shh. I’m listening.” He returned his focus to Jared, but a piece of his mind remained agitated at Tyrell’s comment. Just one more thing for me not to like. As soon as 111

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

he had the thought, his father’s comment sounded in his mind. You don’t pass judgment on others.

Jared continued to map out various activities and initiatives he was planning for the group and then called for the meeting to end. Before everyone left, he let them know the next meeting would be in three weeks. Most people left once the meeting ended, but a few hung back. Derek stayed behind and began putting chairs back where they belonged and picking up extraneous bits of trash.

“C’mon, let’s head out and do something.” The suggestiveness in Tyrell’s voice was unmistakable.”

“I think I’m going to hang back and help straighten up the room. Back in high school, whenever we had meetings, everyone would trash the room. I kind of like to help set a room back in order since I’ve had to clean up other people’s messes plenty of times. It’s not fair for Jared to have to do it by himself.”

Tyrell looked at him as if he had sprung horns, then shrugged and left the room. Once the room had been cleared, Derek approached Jared. “Hi. I’m Derek. I really enjoyed what you had to say. This is my first meeting and I didn’t know what to expect, but I’m impressed with your goals for the group.”

Jared’s smile was warm, his entire body evoking a sense of welcome and acceptance. “Thanks. I’ve been in the group for the past three years and I haven’t been too happy with the things we’ve accomplished. There are some things that have been great, like the fundraisers we do to support local agencies. But, we’ve never done anything to promote awareness, acceptance, and integration here on campus.”

“I know what you mean. I went to high school in Cambridge and I didn’t know any other gay kids. Well, I only knew one other gay person, but that was only in my senior year. I would have loved to have had role models to show me that being gay was okay. It would have been great to have had the courage to give my classmates a chance to accept me for who I was rather than who I allowed them to think I was.”

“High school is very different from college. My experience was similar to yours. I didn’t know any other gay people either. I came from a small town in Vermont though, where the diversity consisted of whether people liked to eat turkey or ham for Christmas dinner.” Derek laughed. Jared had a dry sense of humor which was something he could appreciate.

“If there’s anything I can do to help out, I would love to get involved. Since I’m a freshman, it seems like I need to make sure I get through this year with my grades in good order, but it also sounds like there are several different opportunities for me to volunteer my time.” He hoped Jared would want him to get involved. It seemed they were both interested in breaking down walls instead of allowing people to build them up. He had spent enough of his life building walls to protect himself that this opportunity was a welcome change.

Jared smiled once again and shook Derek’s hand. “I can promise you we’ll find plenty for you to do. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I hope to see you at the 112

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

next meeting.” He took one last look around the room. “Well, I guess that about does it.” The two headed out of the conference room together. When Derek entered the hallway leading to the stairwell, he was stopped by someone calling his name. “Derek, hold up, I want to speak with you.”

Derek turned and saw Tyrell leaning against the wall by a water cooler. Sauntering over to where Derek stood, Tyrell opened the stairwell door, allowing Derek to pass through before him. “You want to go to the Student Center and grab a soda and pizza?”

Despite his propensity for saying and doing things to aggravate him, Derek couldn’t deny how attractive he was. With the fall coming on, his own skin had begun to lose its summer bronze, but Tyrell’s caramel skin remained rich and luminous. As much as he was hesitant to spend time with him, afraid his actions would send the wrong message once again, he decided to give him another chance. “Sure. I’d love to.”

They walked in silence. It was an awkward silence and Derek almost made an excuse to leave, saying he had work to get done for classes, but, just as he had worked out how to escape, they were at the Student Center. “Let’s head upstairs. I’m buying. What would you like to drink?”

Derek was caught off guard by the offer. “Uh, I’ll just have a Coke I guess.”

Tyrell nodded. I’m going to have a slice of pizza as well. Would you like one?”

“Sure. Thanks.” As Tyrell went to get their food and drinks, Derek looked around, trying to find a table as remote and secluded as possible. Recalling that Tyrell had a tendency towards extreme behavior, Derek decided the safest choice would be to seclude the two of them. He had no idea what Tyrell wanted to talk about and wanted to make sure that they were out of earshot if the conversation turned to topics that he wasn’t ready to discuss with the entire student body listening in. Tyrell came to the table and placed a plate of pizza and a soda in front of him. He took a sip and crossed his arms over his chest, staring at Derek. Once again, the silence became uncomfortable until Tyrell finally spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re gay?”

Derek hadn’t expected this question. “What do you mean? You never asked.” Tyrell gave him an exasperated look. “Besides, it was my first day of school and I’ve spent my whole life keeping my sexuality a secret. What makes you think I would simply reveal personal information to a complete stranger?”

“Because we need to stick together?” Tyrell’s comment came out as a question, his voice slanting up at the end and there was an edge of anger in his voice.

“I don’t even know you, Tyrell. What do you mean we need to stick together? What we are you referring to?”

Tyrell rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean we as in you and me. I mean we as in gay people. There are so many people who are against us that we need to stick together. Solidarity in numbers, you know?”

Derek did not know. He had never had to deal with animosity directed at him for anything, let alone for something he had never revealed to anyone besides a handful of 113

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

the people he trusted most in the world. “Tyrell, I’m not about to just up and out myself to someone just because they out themselves to me. I’m not like that. I thought people were supposed to handle coming out in their own time and in their own way.”

Tyrell sucked air though his teeth, the sound grating on Derek’s nerves. “Don’t give me that crap. I totally came on to you. The least you could have done was to let me know you’re gay.”

Derek was finding it impossible to follow Tyrell’s logic. “Why? Because you showed interest in me?”

“Yes.”

Derek’s stomach churned the soda he was drinking. Tyrell wasn’t just annoying him, he was making him angry. Luckily, he was better at masking his feelings than Tyrell. “That’s a pile of shit. I don’t have to tell you anything about myself I don’t want to. Now you know I’m gay, it doesn’t change the fact I wasn’t interested in you then and I’m not interested in you now.” The comment had come out harsher than he had meant it to. Given Tyrell’s propensity for drama and extreme behavior, he wished he had tempered his reaction.

“But the other day when we had lunch and you asked me about first times. Wasn’t that code for telling me you were interested in me?”

There was no mistaking that Tyrell truly believed what he was saying. There was something pathetic about it and Derek’s temper settled. “I got that impression which is why I haven’t called you. I wasn’t asking as a backwards way to giving you any signals or hints. I was asking because I wanted to know. I’m not interested in you, Tyrell.”