Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Family, Real Love (22 page)

Jews take inordinate pride in the accomplishments of other Jews. We take
kvell
ing to a whole new level when it comes to Jewish Nobel Prize winners. Famous musicians, great authors, brilliant doctors, the occasional sports figure—if they have a Jewish parent, we know about it. When Jews hear that anyone has done something great, the first question they ask is, Is that person Jewish? If the answer is yes, well, then, it’s a reaffirmation of just how great we all are, isn’t it?

I had an idea to start a business to sell “samples,” which were the clothes that were used by stores to decide what they would buy from the manufacturers. We would buy them at 40 percent off “cost” and sell them at wholesale prices six months before they even hit the stores! I had a partner and we needed money to get started. I asked Mommy and Daddy to help me. I was all of twenty-two years old and had never done anything like this in my life. They gave me $10,000 outright, no questions asked. It was a lot of money then, and it’s a lot of money now. And you have to remember that my parents never had a lot of money—they had good and bad years, but they were never multimillionaires. Yet they believed in me. Always have. Can you imagine? I learned a lot from that first business venture and we were quite successful, even as each of us was working elsewhere at another full-time job. When I met my first husband, Steven, I moved to New York and we closed the business. I paid back every dime to my parents. Today, I look back with awe at how much faith my parents had in me. ■

I thought investing in real estate was a good idea ten years ago. I had some money, but not enough. Without question, my parents gave me the money I needed. By then, they were retired in Florida and living on savings, but they insisted that I take their money to make the deal happen. We were partners, but I managed everything. Eventually I was able to buy them out, at a profit. They trusted me, period. I believe that their trust in me made me capable. Income from that investment still helps support our family. I hope one day my two kids will come to me with an idea for a business venture and I will be able to say, “Here, take this money. I believe in you.”
■

1.
Has anyone ever helped you with a business venture?

2.
How did that make you feel?

3.
Was the venture successful?

4.
Would you help someone else in a business venture if asked?

Not everyone is meant to be an entrepreneur, and moreover, there are many occupations, like teaching, that are simply not typically entrepreneurial. Unemployment levels are unusually high right now. If you are searching for a job, take anything that you can live with, even if the job is significantly short of perfect. Our philosophy? Working is better than not working. Like eating. Just don’t get either too loyal or too complacent. Your boss is neither one.

1.
Are you pursuing a line of study that will help you achieve your career goals? If not, then redirect your energy.

2.
Do you have the inclination to start your own business? If so, create a plan, and look to your own savings as well as investors. Investing in yourself might be the best decision you ever make.

3.
What connections do you have that can help you succeed in your chosen career? Use them, no matter how tangential the connection might be.

4.
Have you ever hired a career counselor? What have you got to lose?

1. The most important thing to remember is that real change comes slowly, not all at once. Relax; take a deep breath. First, accept one thing—you can’t quit your day job, at least not now. Quitting your job is the last step. I still haven’t stopped practicing law, although I do it a lot less now.

2. Tell people what you want to do. Unexpected doors will open. People you know will surprise you by revealing their experience and connections in your new field. I promise.

3. Carve out a little bit of time to work on getting credentials or experience in your new field. Maybe sign up for a continuing-education class in Excel to improve your computer skills. If your dream is to act, perhaps you can audition for a community play.

4. Read about your new career. Trade magazines will teach you a great deal about the business and the people who are the big names in your field.

5. If you are feeling gutsy, make some cold calls to some of those people who are named in the trades. You’d be surprised how many people would love to help an enthusiastic person who is willing to work hard.

6. Give yourself some clear goals within achievable time frames, and stick to them. For example, “In the next six months, I will call ten people in my new field and ask them certain questions. I will follow their advice to the letter.”

7. Go to the conventions where the top people in your chosen field meet and learn. Spend the money, spend the time. Walk around like a wandering soul and just say hello to people. That’s how I brought my show to Yale radio. People at these meetings are generally really friendly if you just smile and tell them you’d like to belong to their group.

8. Aunt Cooky always says that it’s about the journey, not the destination. Sometimes it doesn’t seem as if you are getting anywhere until you look back at where you started. Remember to enjoy making your dream come true.