The Guide to Getting It On (180 page)

BEAVER—someone who attends Oregon State University. Refers to the female sex Oregons. See “split beaver.”

BEEFCAKE—idealized nude male body in photos and drawings that appeared in muscle magazines whose stated purpose was to extol the virtues of exercise and nutrition. The giants of the beefcake magazines were Bernaar MacFadden’s Physical Culture, started in 1908, and Bob Mizer’s Physique Pictorial which he founded in the 1950s. Its brother publication, Athletic Model Guild was wildly popular from the 1960s until 1993. Tom of Finland’s famous drawings were highly stylized and overtly gay versions of the beefcake.

BEN WA BALLS—a pair of metallic balls that are inserted into the vagina for sexual pleasure while the woman rock back and forth or squeezes her thighs together; more hype than reality since they don’t work for most people.

BESTIALITY—when your sexual partner has four legs and a tail; “farm sex,” “K-9” and “animal training.” The Spanish called it “the Italian vice.”

BICURIOUS—someone who is interested in exploring sex with a member of his or her own sex, but hasn’t gotten around to it yet.

BIDET—oval-shaped porcelain bowl that is plumbed with a fountain of water over which a person squats to clean and sometimes stimulate the genitals; found in traditional European bathrooms; can also be used for anal hygiene.

BIKINI—a type of low-cut panties or swimwear that were originally for women. The bikini has been a fashion staple of the Western world for the past fifty years. The modern bikini was born in 1946. It was named after the island Bikini Atoll, which is part of the Marshall Islands in the Pacific Ocean where nuclear-weapon tests were done. It was so daring that the only model who would originally wear it was a nude dancer. It did not become popular in the U.S. until Brian Hyland’s song Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini hit the charts, and women suddenly started gearing up, or down, in bikinis.

BIKINI LINE—how women in modern America define their vulvas, on the basis of what needs to be plucked or shaved in order to look good on the beach.

BINT—insulting term for a woman in the UK, originally Arabic for “daughter.”

BIO-BOYS—transgender term for males who were born as males and who remain males.

BIOLOGICAL CLOCK—refers to a procreational urge or crisis that overwhelms some people between the ages of 35 and menopause.

BISEXUAL—person who is able to feel sexual arousal for both sexes.

BLADDER INFECTION—when bacteria with a painful kick establish residency in the human bladder; “cystitis.” A person so affected would be willing to pawn her great-grandmother’s wedding ring for a hit of antibiotics. Bladder infections are more common in women because the passageway from the bladder to the outside of the body is much shorter, allowing bacteria easier access.

BLENDED ORGASM—popular-culture term for an orgasm that is thought to be from both clitoral and G-spot area stimulation.

BLIND DATE—aptly-named social event where two people who don’t know each other have been set up by others.

BLOOD SPORTS—extreme BDSM play where the skin is broken and/or blood is drawn, such as such as piercing, whipping, cutting and vampire games.

BLOW—cocaine.

BLOWJOB—oral sex that’s done on a guy; “hummer,” “give head,” “go down on him,” “fellatio.”

BLOW’N’GO—a quick blow job, can also refer to cruising.

BLUE BALLS—refers to a condition where a male has been sexually stimulated but not to orgasm. Sometimes actually hurts and is rumored to cause a blue tint to shroud the scrotum. Is easily cured by jerking off. At one time, blue balls was thought to cause physical damage, but recent evidence does not support this fear. Get used to it, dude.

BMS—acronym for “baby-making sex.”

BODY SHOTS—when doing tequila shooters, suck the salt from whatever part of your lover’s body he or she puts it on, and then suck the lime from his or her mouth. Somewhere in between, gulp down the tequila.

BODY MODIFICATION—things people do to change their bodies in primitive ways, including piercing, tattooing, branding, binding, cutting, castrating, nullification or corset training. The Rome of bod mod is
www.bme.com.

BOFF or BOINK—to have intercourse.

BONDAGE—when someone gets a sexual high from that which the rest of us try to avoid.

BONE—a less than delicate reference to intercourse; e.g., “to bone a babe.” Also the dominant partner in a prison relationship, or a penis.

BONEYARD—area in prisons where conjugal (sex) visits occur with spouses.

BOOT BOY— a male submissive or an intern in a large firm.

BOOTH TROLL—a male who cruises for sex with other men in the video booths at the cheesier adult sex stores. If successful, anonymous sex occurs, often while viewing straight porn flicks to give the appearance of being straight. Has the added excitement of potentially being busted by the vice squad.

BOOTY—means “rear end,” “bum” or “caboose.” Can refer to having sex, but not anal sex; go figure.

BOOTY CALL–late-night text message or phone call for sex, often cryptic, as in “R U busy?”

BOOTY CHECK—prison slang for “rectal cavity search;” “finger wave.”

BOTTOM—means “sexually submissive,” a BDSM term; see “top and bottom.” Can also be the receiver of the penis during anal intercourse; “catcher.”

BOTTOM’S DISEASE—BDSM term for when a submissive takes the role too far.

BOTTOM SURGERY—when a transgendered person has their genitals surgically reassigned, as opposed to “top surgery” which refers to everything else.

BOXERS OR BRIEFS?— a question every guy ponders at one time or another, but often ends up wearing whatever his mother originally dressed him in. Or maybe he’ll settle on the hybrid boxer-briefs.

BOY SHORTS—women’s underwear. See “hipsters.”

BRA HOOK—no single device known to humankind has caused more guys (and some women) more angst than the hook of the bra. Legend has it that Obi-Wan Kenobi originally taught Luke Skywalker about “the force” to help him unhook Princess Leia’s bra. Given that they turned out to be brother and sister, it’s fortunate that Leia’s bra hook proved even tougher than the force.

BRANDING—when that which is done to a cow is done to a human. An extreme form of BDSM.

BRAZILIAN—differs from a usual bikini-area waxing because it goes all the way back to the butt, including deforestation of the anus. People mistakenly think that a Brazilian has to do with the vulva being bare, but the key element in a Brazilian waxing is that the perineum and butt are plucked, as well as the sides of the labia. The mons pubis is the wild card: it can be bald or left with a landing strip, as long as your kitty’s whiskers don’t hang out the sides or top of your thong.

BREATH PLAY or BREATH CONTROL—erotic asphyxiation. When the oxygen supply is cut off as part of a sexual turn-on. It is done during masturbation or couple’s play, but is a health hazard and should never be done under any circumstances. The danger cannot be controlled or minimized, even if a cardiologist were monitoring the act.

BREEDER—a gay term for a straight person.

BREMELANOTIDE—originally tested as a sunless tanning lotion, imagine the surprise when men who were test subjects got boners in addition to tans. Women test subjects wanted to jump the male test subjects, and it was off to the races. Development was stopped in 2008 due to side effects including high blood pressure. The company then found that injecting bremelanotide subcutaneously (into the fat layer under the skin rather than into the muscle) does not appear to cause the elevated blood pressure side effects of the original nasal application. As of 2012, the company was phase 2 trials to test the safety and efficacy of the new injection system. According to one user, “it won’t make you want to have sex, but it will make things much easier, and once things are going, it will keep them going.”

BRO JOB—oral sex between two guys who consider themselves to be straight, often alcohol aided.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN—closeted cowboy extravaganza. Now, for the truly important commentary about the butt-fucking scene in the pup tent: Get over it! The sex was symbolic. No self-respecting gay man is going to throw spit on his penis and shove it up the butt of some cowboy who hasn’t had a shower since he was 10 and has been eating nothing but beans by the campfire. Butt-fucking requires preparation and lube, or at least some bacon drippings, given the quaint campfire setting. So the pup-tent scene was just symbolic. Symbolic of what? It depends on who you are and what your life experiences have been. (Thanks for the excellent imagery, www.Nightcharm.com!)

BROWN SHOWERS—when being crapped-on is a sexual turn on as opposed to a normal life condition; “scat,” “coprophilia,” “brown session.”

BROWN SUGAR—refers to a sexy black woman or to having sex with her.

BUCK WILD—rap term, meaning to have wild sex or to act crazy; “buckwildin.” An example of proper usage is provided by Body Count: “Get buckwild with the white freaks, show ‘em how to work the white sheets.”

BUDDY BOOTH—booth in an adult sex venue where there’s a window to the next booth. There are curtains in the windows and buttons that raise them. This lets you watch the person in the next booth stripping or doing whatever, as long as you both raise each other’s curtains.

BUDDY SEX—see “fuck buddy.”

BUFF—having well-developed muscles, often the result of spending an ungodly amount of time at the gym. While the buff look on men is sexy today, that might not have been the case in 1900, when buff men tended to be members of the working class and were slaving at factory jobs. Back then, the pot belly may have been an indicator of opulence and sexual desirability.

BUGGERY—an academic tradition. Anal sex that’s done to boys and young men in boarding schools as well as other places where men are warehoused.

BUKKAKE—a Japanese term that refers to showering the face of the receiver with the ejaculate of many men. Legend has it that in ancient Japan, a woman who was unfaithful was tied up in the town center where the male citizenry ejaculated on her face to show their distaste. Perhaps they were angry because the adultery happened with some other Samurai and not them. Has since become a fetish with some Japanese porn featuring it; aka facial.

BUM—British term for “rear end.”

BUNK-BED SEX—an agony forced on college students who live in dorms. Sex is the main reason to avoid bunking your beds, but get the bottom bunk if you have no choice. Sure, the whole thing will shake each night when your roommate in the upper bunk is jerking-off, but imagine trying to get you and your drunken hook-up to the top bunk? With the way a lot bunk beds shake, it will be like trying to shag while sitting on top of an ocean buoy. What about overhead clearance? Do you get her a helmet if she’s feeling like doing a cowgirl? And if one of you falls out of bed from the lower bunk, we’re only talking a broken clavicle at worst. Fall out of the top bunk, and all bets are off.

BUSH—female pubic hair or genitals.

BUTCH—a lesbian who has adopted the male role and runs with it. Think short hair, Bermuda shorts and a T, and preferring to shop for clothes in the men’s department. Can also refer to an exaggerated form of manliness.

BUTCH-FEMME—an alluring woman who combines the no-nonsense strength of a stone butch with the steamy “make your crotch drip and throb” attraction of a femme fatale. This is a woman who can ride into town on a Hog wearing tattoos and leather, and ride out with men and women tripping over themselves to get her in bed. She blurs sex and gender boundaries, yet you would never use the word “androgynous” to describe her. The butch-femme is played well in some movies by actress Angelina Jolie. Butch-femme also refers to the community of women who describe themselves as being butches, femmes, stone butches, stone femmes, TGbutches, transmen and FtMs.

BUTT PLUG—toy for the rectum that’s diamond-shaped or shaped like a Christmas tree with a stand, minus the holiday cheer. The base is specially flared so the anus can grasp and pucker around it, while the stand-part keeps the rectum from sucking it all the way inside. Gives a feeling of fullness. Can be made of silicone, rubber, metal, tempered glass or acrylic and sometimes vibrates and shoots fluid.

C2C—when used as a sexual term, it means “cock-to-cock,” as in two men rubbing their erect penises together. Also a British train company.

CAMEL TOES—when a woman’s clothes (pants, shorts, bikini bottom) dig into her crotch and you can see her labia bulging along the sides of the crease; “crotch cleavage.”

CAMGIRL/CAMBOY—someone who spends from a few minutes a day to fulltime broadcasting images of themselves or their living space in front of a webcam. The vast majority of people who are doing this throw in a lot of sex and personal diary entries, enticing viewers to ante up a monthly fee for the privilege of watching. But now, it can include anything from exhibitionists to lifecasters to kids from Japan who spend a few seconds a day live but pull in hundreds of thousands of viewers; “camwhore.” See the discussion of “Jennicam” at the end of the “Getting Naked” chapter.

CAM WHORE—person who spends hours in front of his or her webcam, sometimes with clothes on, sometimes with clothes off.

CANDIDA ALBICANS—a yeast growth or yeast infection.

CAN ENTERTAIN—swinging term, signifies you are able to host the sexual activity in your home.